UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
Cocaine. Prostitutes. Pub lunches every day. Arcade machines set to freeplay in the reception area. There was nothing SEGA couldn't afford during its early 1990s domination of the Western Hemisphere.

It bought Right Said Fred's very small amount of dignity, using it in this horrendous video production:

That's your favourite band. You've got all their albums. You've even got a limited edition Japan-only CD that had two bonus remixes.
We've seen photos of SEGA UFO catcher machines before. But here, exclusively, we present the UFO catcher operating system error message. The submitter cleverly raises the tension by getting gradually closer. If there's one thing we've given the internet, it's the idea of making dull things seem (but not actually be) slightly more interesting by taking photos from nearer and nearer.

We have just gone downstairs to ask. And yes, mum is proud.

"I saw this SEGA prize machine on Clacton pier Sunday morning looking a bit sorry for itself. It was some kind of never-win-prize-grabby-claw machine with an error message. Poor thing probably didn't know what is was or where it was... I called out for someone, anyone to help me as it lay dying in my arms but no-one came... no-one cared."

"Not to worry though, I did in fact win a set of polyester dogs from the grab-a-ball-win-a-prize-nothing-to-do-with-SEGA-machine. Good weekend all round" - Andy.

Reader's hand visible in reflection. If we zoom in and enhance the image, it might be possible to see what sort of camera - or more likely mobile phone - was used to capture the image.

Definitely a phone. The EXIF data just says "SAMSUNG".
A well-meaning but ultimately misjudged piece of internal humour.

RELATED VIDEOS: Lucy Clarkson gave a boy a video card and probably an erection in the year 2000.
Fat kid. Energy drink. Games console. There's a burger in his back pocket and a tuna wrap hidden up his arse in case they didn't allow food in the venue.

You wouldn't need so much additional energy from sugar and caffeine if you weren't lugging 75 additional pounds around with you everywhere.
The Hansoft software engineer has abandoned the neatly-trimmed goatee look and is currently in the process of turning it into a full beard. He intends to keep the neckline relatively hairless.

Facial coverage should be complete by Q3.
Actual numbers. For the UK. PS3 is last. It's going to stay last. The best Sony can hope for is that it doesn't finish last by much.
* PS2 10m
* DS 8.8m
* Wii 4.9m
* 360 3.2m
* PSP 3.2m
* PS3 1.9m

Picture clarified by GAME, PDF transcribed by the brave staff of Edge.
Someone took these photos of Mega Drive Super Monaco Grand Prix. They feature our dear, beloved (NOT IN A GAY WAY) Flag Man. And if you're waiting for a review of OutRun Online Arcade, stop waiting. It's the same game as before only without the home mini games and in high-resolution. You don't need us to tell you that.

BREAKS OUT THE CLICHED BUT SADLY APPLICABLE TEETH JOKE: "Super Monaco for Mega Drive, is it your favourite game? Well it god damn should be because I just found the SEGA Flag Man in it. Maybe you knew he was there all along? Maybe you have some sprite debugger thing that looks through the source code of old games for sprites made of red pixels that flap around like Heath Ledger on prescription meds? I dunno what goes on over there in England, but it's certainly not brushing your teeth for the majority of your population so I thought I may as well send this to you."

"I've taken pictures with a camera phone of my Cable Ready Teac TV to record the event for future generations. Perhaps in twenty or thrity years people will look back and say: 'Australia never did get cable, so why did they buy a bucket load of cable ready TVs?'"

"Regardless, this sort of carry on is neither here nor there and certainly not a reflection of the wonderful work you are all doing here on the front line. Poach me a kipper old blighty, because the pics are in the attachment. Your Pal From AustraliaLand" - Brett Bear.
...there is a corresponding negative. It says "Sonic" on the milk shake. Which is why this is up here.

From a "Simon" who provided no explanation as to how he happened upon the image.
Here. For you. From us. Via someone else. Looks like an original piece. Happy Tuesday.

"I found this picture of a girl on the internet wearing a Sonic t-shirt. Unfortunately you don't get to see the whole t-shirt, but you do get to see knickers, so that may be some consolation. Not sure where I found it, but I'm sure if you type 'emo slut' into Google it should be on one of those pages" - [GeekPunk]. A.K.A. Darth Canis.
Some person on the internet has nothing better to do that go around photographing and archiving obscure SEGA material. What a sad fuck. What a pathetic individual. How could a grown person have so little in their lives that putting photos of SEGA things on the internet gives them pleasure? It's embarrassing.

It's not always obvious it says SEGA to the mature, non-urban eye, but there are some superb 1980s SEGA fonts in the collection. Thanks to extremely urban reader "Danny" for the find.
Such a pleasing rectangle of lovely colour. On Monday, we might just upload an orange rectangle to see what it looks like.

"Heard you're literally posting anything these days, so here's a picture of a painting called 'NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY SEGA WITH HARRISON FORD' by some bloke called Brandon Bird" - Beef.
Glen is still emailing us stuff like this, by the way.

"Fuck it. I can't stop now, as Ulala becomes smaller and smaller I'm reminded of the Lara peephole shots and find myself getting aroused. Zorg said he would put a stop to this agony so I guess I'm calling his bluff. I know this whole thing is going nowhere, so that alone should be reason enough to post it. I didn't know how to keep it 'fresh', so I haven't bothered. No gimmicks this time, just pure unadulterated internet misery. Don't let that stop you enjoying it though, as we pull back further and further into uncharted waters it's like looking at a whole week's worth of UK:R updates all in one hit" - Glen.
Featuring stuff like this. Cross-dressing fat men. It is not only us that can't be bothered doing anything proper any more.

Reader "Some Random UKR Reader" suggests skipping to the 44 seconds point if you're pressed for time.
Although, presumably, he was sitting on the chair, then stood up, walked away and FAKED this entire chain of events. Otherwise we'd have to assume he takes photos of every chair he goes near.

Taken by Dan.

Dan sent in one of these photos based in a pub.

Dan either has an alcohol problem or a wide and varied social life.
"I am going to spend my time now trying to repay society for all I have taken from it. If your children are having physics lessons at the local school or wondering why their ski instructor is very elderly, your car mechanic has a bad back, or the social worker keeps bringing you PSP games, then it could just be me! Good luck to everybody at SCEE and everybody who continues to support us" - Sony Europe Lie Supremo David Reeves.

CVG won the war to upload the press release first, which is miraculous given the complexity of the CMS the poor chaps have to deal with.
We know about "demographics" and understand that different "people" like different "things". But there aren't enough open bracket symbols in the world to do a sad smiley face sad enough to express the deep sadness we feel looking at this.

It's perfectly OK to review some games by just looking at the box then frisbeeing it unopened into the eBay pile. 2/10.
The worst corporate "presence" on the entire internet is giving up. The enemy has lost its PR mouthpiece. The bad news is, it's going to be replaced by something else. The good news is, Three Speech is giving up.
"As of April the 17th Three Speech will be bowing out to make way for a brand new and shiny EU PlayStation blog.

"It's your feedback, comments and suggestions that have made this possible, so you should all be very proud! Obviously both Three Speech and SCE UK are very grateful to everyone who has made this site so busy and lively over the past two and half years. Your input has really helped PlayStation to grow, and the new blog will be a further way for you to contribute ideas. It’s been good fun meeting all of you and we're looking forward to seeing you on the EU blog!

Yes, you will see us. We'll be the ones using a rotational system of anonymous usernames based on Babylon 5 characters to say all your games are shit, you're shit and your readers are all shit. See you soon!
TK Maxx is so old fashioned its internet presence doesn't let you shop online. If you want one of these you'll have to go into a branch. You'll also have to have SHIT LIFESTYLE BRAND "Joystick Junkies" burning a hole into the back of your neck.

This is the fantasy. This is the reality.

"I was just in TK Maxx the other day (does it even have two Xs...?). I wanted a cheap Jacket to take to festivals, managed to get a nice jacket for fifteen quid. Anyway, whilst browsing, I saw a t-shirt on special clearance sale. It says 'Supersonic' on it, and "'1991'. I'm not sure what they were thinking. Unless I am mistaken, the first appearance of Super Sonic in a game was in Sonic 2, which didn't come out 'til 1992. It is also clearly not Super Sonic, since he's blue."

"It apparently originally sold for £30, but is now £9.99. Not sure how long it took to drop in price that much, but if it anything like Sonic games, it's probably only a few weeks old."

"'Limited Edition' it says. Somehow I don't think so" - LewieP.

We used to hate them with PASSION, but now have a grudging admiration for them managing to get their t-shirts distributed via a nationwide chain, even if it is a sub-prime chain and the t-shirts are being heavily discounted.
So it's entirely "within remit" and "on message" for us to feature a link to an eBay auction where you may purchase one of her bikinis.

100% allowed.

"There's no picture of the garments themselves, possibly because her publicist wanted to keep her little problem of incontinence on a down low. I thought you might be interested as UK:R has expressed a masturbatory approval motion on Ms. Atkinson many times prior, which has been favourably met by her drooling, wank-hungry readership.

"You need to be an 'approved buyer' to bid on this, which presumably means Gemma has stipulated that only rich and promising types may be granted the honour of imbibing the subtle nosegays of her nether regions, and not your average lascivious Sun reading/Ginsters slice consuming/wolf-whistling/Rupert Murdoch trusting lowest common denominator troglodyte.

"If anybody's interested, I'm selling my own replica models, which are basically just the cheapest bikini from Primark with prawn cocktail crisps rubbed around the gusset and one of those embroidered strip labels you used to have on your PE kit at school inscribed with the name 'Gemma Atkinson'.

"I'm taking orders now" - Weatherbox.
SEGA Vision media player thing spotted in the wilds of a Basildon arcade. Reader failed to win one, due to the inherently unfair nature of the UFO catcher business model.

"I spotted these SEGA goodies inside a SEGA UFO toy grab machine in an arcade in Basildon. I did try to win one of these but like all UFO machines it was too hard."

"So I went of and played the Guitar Hero machine instead and beat a random stranger at 'Bull on Parade' by Rage Against the Machine. A pointless story I know, but it does have SEGA in!" - Simon.
Click on this. It says it's an April Fool at the end, but the journey is most enjoyable.
Here's something for any readers under the age of 30 we may have accidentally accrued. Just click on this link and press play, basically.
"There's this thing on the internet called the Donk DJ. It basically turns any song into an unlistenable piece of shit.

"Some brave soul decided to upload 'Can You Feel The Sunshine' and have it, erm, 'donked'. The result is ambiguous, to say the least.

"Thought you should hear this because it made me laugh hysterically for 10 minutes. I also uploaded Black Cat Moon. Also if this manages to make the front page, I have attached a 3000 x 2250 JPEG image of a viral Dreamcast marketing scheme I found on Google" - Alex.
Reader, t-shirt owner, news-supplier and all-round solid chap "Chris" realised - to his JOY - that his spectacles have the Dreamcast logo etched onto the bit that goes behind your ears. The ear clasp. The ear holder. The ear hook. The safety lever. The head attachment spoke. Whatever it's called.

This is such good news it can't wait until April's spiral round-up and MUST be given the publicity it deserves. Especially as Chris wrote lots of words, making this look like an update we spent 20 minutes on rather than five.

You might need to turn the contrast on your screen up a bit.

"I was cleaning my glasses the other night and, even though I've worn them for about five months, noticed for the first time that they have little Dreamcast logos on them. This instantly makes my glasses Cool As Fuck(TM) and means I can see in Segavision."

"I've taken a photo of them on top of a dictionary. It's not my dictionary but at least it proves I have at least one friend who knows how to spell words. It also gives a fantastic sense of scale: in this case, proving that these Dreamglasses are roughly the same size as a 'normal' pair of human glasses."

"I shouldn't be sharing this secret because I want the power all to myself, but the glasses were made by i-spax, who are German, and the product code, handily written on the glasses themselves, is JACOB-52/17-col.7 so if anyone wants a pair they should thrust that information in their optician's scab-encrusted face and demand he orders them before he gets raped in a way he couldn't possibly have imagined when he rode to work that morning on his pathetically underpowered bicycle."

"I have also attached an image of a Sonic toy that I got from a capsule machine at a service station, who is pictured thumbing that cunt from Little Big Planet up the arse. Cheers" - Chris.
Today, we shall try to get away with doing 20 words and embedding a YouTube video as the only update.

25 words, including these ones, rising to 41 if we point out it was sent in by a person called "Lee".