The BLACK DEATH console claims another innocent victim. The facts of the story should just be hurriedly glossed over.




By Rod Chaytor, who doesn't really know what he's doing but his heart is in the right place.

Stick with it at least until Knuckles appears.




Found by a particularly urban and streetwise reader called "Andrew" who alerted us to the original artiste's presence on a social network called MySpace that is apparently all the rage these days.

He looks a bit hungover to be trusted with such a CRITICAL TASK. Although, on the positive side, he's got at least FOUR monitors so must be good at what he does else he'd be hidden away somewhere using the old Mac.

He also looks a bit like Sean bean, which should help reel in the female demographic.




Taken from some Dutch web site which is currently featuring a virtual tour of Sumo Digital's office. We were not sent the images, which hurts.

A man, who has rightly realised that we'll upload literally ANYTHING we get sent these days, sent this photo. So we're uploading it. That is how sadly and disappointingly we "roll" these days.

We're not sure if it's meant to be funny or ironic. We are entirely unsure as to the submitter's "angle". But here it is anyway.




"The Girlfriend got this in a DVD case for some film she recently bought off off Play. She didn't throw it out because she thought I would find it funny, or tragic, or something. Which is why I'm with her, really. She has an understanding of Playstation Hate.

"If anyone else sends you this, then I might be able to get a few extra points as the fingers there are hers. Yes. A real woman. Who's a final year medical student and as such has put those fingers inside people. The photo isn't high-res enough to zoom in on the individual skin cells, but it's probably enough for the average UK:R fan to crack a few off to" - The Castrator.

Continuing our epic voyage through every photo on every hard drive of every human being in the entire world, here's a great shot of a little woman about to get 'compromised' by whatever that thing is from that game we didn't even bother looking at screenshots of. Sonic something. Sonic and the Monsters? Sonic MAX?




"I took the attached pic at Tokyo Games Show 2008 last year. I can't remember how I found your site (probably the North Korea arcade update) but it reminded me of something else and THAT reminded me of the photo and... oh hell, here it is. Suggested Caption: 'Bad Sonic! Stop that at once!' or something" - DD.

Glen is still alive. At least one person with access to the UKR Hotmail account is still alive. So IT CONTINUES. It's going to stop after this, though. We can take a lot of punishment, but this is getting brutal.




"In the spirit of the experimental nature of this thing, I'm going to take it in a new direction today. So here's a photo of my reply to Ben's photo of him giving the finger to my photo of a photo of this site. (I'm giving a friendly wave back to Ben). I'm pretty sure a whole new way of communication has just been invented! It's as convoluted and unnecessary as wearing top hats and tipping them to each other. At long last bringing digital technology into the Victorian age."




"So as not to alienate the core fans of the original project I have also included a photo of my photo of my photo of my photo of your site. While the tenuous connection linking this to Sonic slips perilously close to breaking point I will endeavour to push on until it snaps. Tension is mounting though as my camera battery is running low and there's some doubt over whether I can be bothered recharging it" - Glen.




OK, that's it. Glen, we're pulling you out before you take any more damaging blows to the brain. No more. Thanks.

We find it hard to get excited about a product that features so much inner-shadowing on its logo and uses such a rubbish font that has nothing in common with the source material, but here you go. You might not be such a typographical fascist.




We think the idea is you stick it on the end of your penis so it's like you're actually having sex with Tails.




These are the ones for people with smaller penises who want to have imaginary sex with Tails while "on the go".

Gaya Entertainment and Jetix Consumer Products expand license agreement for SEGA's Sonic the HedgehogTM

Gaya Entertainment and Jetix Consumer products have expanded their license agreement to create further products related to the classic Sonic the Hedgehog videogames from SEGA. The product lineup includes a collectable chessgame that comes with 32 high end and hand painted pvc figures which was previously announced already and is now extended with the following assortments of squeezable figures and keychains.

CEO of Gaya Entertainment Andre Schmitz said: „We are very proud to announce the teaming up of Jetix and Gaya Entertainment for this project. 2009 will be an important year for everybody´s favorite Hedgehog and being a part of it is highly appreciated. With our product lineup for Sonic we intend to offer something for everyone, may it be old or young.“

Squeezee figures are around 10cm in height and come individually packed in window box, 12 pieces assorted per counter display. Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Eggman(Robotnik) are available.

Squeezee keychains are around 6cm in height and are individually carded, 12 pieces assorted per counter display. Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Eggman(Robotnik) are available.

„Jetix is looking forward to working with Gaya Entertainment and delivering quality products from one of its most cherished franchises to both fans of the series and model collectors alike“, said Georg Liedmeier, in charge of Licensing at Jetix Consumer Products.

The first products will hit stores, starting end of May 2009. Pricing information and release schedules available upon request.

For more information visit our website www.gaya-entertainment.de or use the contact data below.

Sonic the HedgehogTM SEGA ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Be warned. The only way to stop this is to have one of us killed.




"It was never supposed to go this far but a man in the internet told me to do it, so here it is – a photo taken of a photo that I took of your site. That photo being a photo I took of an earlier photo I had taken of your site. The original photo being of a photo I took of a word verification received from your site that was slightly Sonic-related. In brief - a photo of my photo of my photo on your site. This may be getting tiresome for some, but my enthusiasm is only slightly dulled.

"I am quite sure I won't be able to describe it correctly next time, so we may have reached the end of the road here, but what a ride it's been. As exciting / retarded as this may seem to some of your readers it's hard to deny that this was all real, happening right here, right now, on computer screens around the world. The internet was made for this sort of livewire concept and I am humbled to have been a part of it. But for now I must put on some pants and go and feed the cat. Thank you all, and thank you Zorg" - Glen.

PS:
"Not wishing to make this all about me, and in an effort to refocus attention on the SEGA-related aspect of this whole adventure, I have placed a number of SEGA-related 'Easter eggs' about my computer screen which your keen-eyed readers may like to try and spot".

Glen is really pushing his idea of readers sending in photos of their screens. So far he's the only one.




"In the interests of finally following through with something in my life, as promised, here is the photo of my photo on your site. It didn't turn out as interesting as I thought it would be as I had imagined some sort of mirror within a mirror effect taking place, but clearly that didn’t eventuate. So, in order to add some interest to the shot, I zoomed out a little (by that I mean moved the camera backward) and included the localised advertisement that I received. I imagine this will be different for all your readers around the world, some of whom seem to be very 'up' on this technology thing" - Glen.

Have been saving this for ages. Can't think of anything to do with it. So here it is. Today is Make Your Own Fun Day. She has been pre-moistened for your ease.




Maybe in five years time we'll put it on a Flickr account and say it's ours and we took it and that we used to go to places and do things.

All we really want to do on the internet today is discuss the merits of 'Yes', the 10th studio album from the Pet Shop Boys, on pop music forums with other like-minded, discreet individuals.

So while we do that, here's a man's story about his word verification word.




"I've made the effort to take these photos and send them in, the least you could do is post this shit. It could start a whole new UK:R phenomenon. Or it could get a couple of comments."




"I had to walk out to my kitchen when I saw this. Because that's where my camera was. Inside my girlfriend's backpack after a recent trip out to a bird sanctuary island with her brother and his wife (thanks to Animal Crossing I now care about games and nature). I brought the camera back to the computer room, (through the lounge and short hallway) and took these three photos of a word verification I received on this very site. It's not the best one I've ever received but it is Sonic related, containing both Char and/or Rings depending on which way you choose to read it."




"This new fad of taking photos of Sonic-related word verifications may still in its infancy but I can say I was there on the ground floor. If you do post this then I will take a photo of the screen of that post and send that in as well. Then who knows where this thing could lead? I should explain that Char was the name of one of my Chao in Sonic Adventure 2 which make the word verification Charings all the more sonic related on a personal level for me. (You can use my name, I don't think anyone I know reads this site anyway)" - Glen.

'YES' ALBUM REVIEW
It's one of the most 'mixed bags' the Pet Shop Boys have produced. Standout tracks such as 'Vulnerable', 'Pandemonium' and 'Love Etc.' would be at home on any of the Boys' albums form the past 20 years, but dull, plodding tunes like 'All Over The World' and 'Building a Wall' should've been saved for one of the later discs of the post-humous box set, which we'd suggest could be entitled 'Predictably'.

The last track on the album 'Legacy' verges on the unlistenable, featuring poor Neil attempting to reach notes he's no chance of getting anywhere near without substantial digital enhancement during post production and the assistance of a voice double. After that, you're glad it's over and thankful your MP3 player loops back to Track One of Pop Art. Still, listening to 'Yes' is better than having to listen to new music by new bands and taking a chance in unfamiliar territory. 7/10.

Silence please, for the reason we are all still here.




From "Luke". Says it's some curtains he saw in the window of a flat near Euston. Don't get us involved in your sick voyeurism crimes, Luke.




From "Dan". Says it's the mirror in a local pub. We didn't know we had readers cool enough to go out to pubs!




A Dreamcast-inspired set of Christmas decorations, from a nice man in Germany who'd probably prefer it if we didn't put his name up. Could cause problems.




Gavin's lampshade. Came with the studio flat.

Complaints DENIED! The government may continue to tell the people of the UK that they are RISKING DEATH whenever they touch a PS3 controller.




Facts here. We're more about exclamation marks and capital letters than facts.

Fantasy gadget. Enables the listening to of the Sonic R soundtrack while simultaneously taking photos of ladies without their knowledge for use later. Also masks your sad eyes.




"Was passing through a service station somewhere in Somerset during the early hours of Wednesday and my interest was drawn towards one of those expensive coin-ops that tempt you with DSs, iPods and Cameras, but give you knob rot at best. Inside, I spotted something dodgy but intriguing. SEGA is currently making sunglasses with a built-in MP3 player AND a digital camera built into the frames" - Matt.

THERE IS/WAS MORE:
"Now, far be it from me to bemoan SEGA for making products of this calibre, but it's a little bit sleazy to include a camera in the glasses. If I'm honest I'm a bit of a pervert and that's why I'm interested in getting a set! Anyway, I thought I'd take a picture as I'm damned if I'm going to get excited about UK:R in public and not take a picture of the bloody things."

EXIF DATA:
"PS: Camera is a shitty Casio, so don't EXIF me."

We're busy tonight. There's that big puddle of urine behind the toilet that needs sorting out.

"Just a reminder that we are hosting an evening of informal drinks with Vernon Kay tonight at the Century Club.

"There will also be a chance to play Call of Duty World at War with Vernon who will be there to challenge you in person in a live Game with Fame on Xbox LIVE plus chat to you about anything gaming related.

"It would be great to see you there. Please reply to this email to RSVP by 2pm today to add your names to the list.

"Looking forward to hearing from you."

A man found this on the internet. It is almost certainly unofficial and unlicensed, therefore you are losing out on the tens of pounds that would flood in from this smash hit underground recording.




Those tens of pounds could be reinvested on flying Ana Ivanovic over for a press conference to promote Virtua Tennis 2009.

Found these while "surfing" for incriminating material on Sony's official Flickr presence.




Here's a man BEING EXCITED to have bought what can only be described as a "product". He really looks like he actually is excited. Very well done.




He's also excited. Probably excited because the promo copies have just come in and he's glad he's not going to have to buy one with his own money. In fact, he's probably mentally working out that if he puts it on a three-day eBay auction he'll get around £35 for it by next Monday.




Would it be sexist in this day and age to suggest that she's the receptionist? No, she can't be the receptionist. Even motorbike couriers would be scared of initiating conversation with her and her prison tattoos.

A man found these. Badges that celebrate the past console wars we've fought in. If you still have the scars from getting beaten up by SNES owners for being edgy enough to own a Mega Drive, now is the time to reward yourself.




"SEGA should authorise these and send you some. You deserve it" - Neil.

DO WE DESERVE IT?
No. We've been pretending since about 2002 so it'd feel bad.

A reader, unsurprisingly known as "Chris", has sent this in. It must've taken AT LEAST 20 minutes - that's equal to the amount of effort UKR usually gets in a whole calendar month.

It at least helps scroll away all the things that might make Konnie upset/angry.




"I ran that photo through a new Photoshop plug-in by Kai's Power Tools (X-ray View 1.2) and look what I discovered! The original photo seemed to only be an optical illusion!" - Chris.

14 hours SOLID of pressing F5 and THIS is all we get?




At least it's not Ralf Little and Charlie Brooker. It could've been worse.




Perhaps if we do lots and lots and lots of serious updates about ISSUES like censorship and violence we'll get invited next year.

It is now of EXTREME IMPORTANCE that we know what her shoes were like.




The geeky man is every bit as geeky as we had been hoping. More geek/celebrity juxtaposition on the BAFTA gallery here.




And from the side...

See Konnie Huq's TONGUE!




People would DEFINITELY believe she was your girlfriend if you could accurately describe what her tongue looks like. Video of Konnie's tongue here. Spotted by "Chris" reader #1123.

You could always browse the BAFTA Children's Awards gallery. Dannii Minogue was there.




Still nice, but lacks the warmth you get radiating off Huq.




The Chuckle Brothers have been cruelly set-up by the BAFTA gallery system.

Look, no disrespect meant or anything, but there are more important things to be looking at pictures of today than 505 Games Wii products and PSP RPGs.




24 photos of Konnie Huq at no less than 3MB per picture by 12:30pm or we're cancelling our subscription.

The BAFTA gallery is up. There are no photos of Konnie in it yet. We can only hope the Konnie pics were taken in such a high-resolution that they're taking longer than usual to upload.




This is Kirsty Gallagher. She'd do, but is NO KONNIE HUQ.




Ross and wife. We have some magazines that feature Mrs Ross, back in the very early 1990s when she was a writer for games mags. One day we will scan in the photos and write something vaguely abusive about her. Perhaps Jonathan Ross might then link to them on his Twitter page and we'll be famous.




We're starting to suspect Konnie pulled a sickie after realising what she'd agreed to do, leaving only the tired old usual attendees.




She was DEFINITELY SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.

Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler. Filler.




Hurry up, GamesPress! There's nothing on the BAFTA web site yet.




How long can it take? It's not like photos have to be developed any more. WE WANT TO SEE WHAT KONNIE WORE!




We also want to see men who don't usually wear suits wearing suits and looking at Konnie while trying to appear relaxed.

Which is handy, as it's nice to know that a few UKR readers still have something to laugh about. The submitter blacked out the number plates to avoid detection.




"I'm sorry to inform you all at UK:R that Sonic was found earlier today having been killed by a Corsa in the North of England. It's unlclear whether he was mown down by a disgruntled fan or if he was so appalled at how low he'd stooped in the gaming world that he decided suicide was the better option. Either way I'm sorry to inform you in such a graphic manner. This picture may disturb avid fans - It is after all a Corsa that killed your Hero. With sincerest condolences" - An avid UK:R fan.

It's 10.49am and today is already looking like being the best day in the entire history of internet news. Even if this news did technically break on Friday.




Spotted by a "Thomas" who said he found it inside this week's TV Choice, should you want one of your own to cut out and ironically stick up on the wall above where you sit.

You pretend to be the one on the left, we'll pretend to be the one on the right. Let's meet up on server #UK at 12.45am tonight.




Never speak of it and it'll be like it never happened.

An infinite array of garish colours, ever-changing and floating in front of your eyes for all eternity? It'll be like having the old SEGA back developing games JUST FOR YOU.




When someone from the council kicks in your door to wonder why you haven't paid any council tax for three years, this will be why. Your partially decomposed corpse will be on the bed, with the SEGA Toys Kaleidoscope Projector Light still beaming joy onto the ceiling.

THE STORY BEHIND THE DISCOVERY OF THIS ITEM:
"Hello! I just got some spare cash so I bought some awesome second-hand games (Sonic & Knuckles, Streets of Rage 2, Alien Soldier and some others)."

THEN!
"Then I came to think of that I might want a new watch so i visited a site where I got one before: www.tokyoflash.com."

AND LO AND BEHOLD
"And lo and behold, I found this thing made of pure win and awesome" - Alexander.

We value your feedback. We haven't been reading any of the comments since changing the template, mind, but we do value your feedback occasionally when in the right mood.

We particularly value this sort of feedback from Tier-1 reader "Stefan".




Which definitely makes sense. So...




The result is a bluer and greener background that mixes OutRun styling with the up-to-date (for us) Daytona USA palette. Hope you hate it a bit less. This isn't today's "main" update, by the way. We are not deluded enough to think that a new background is interesting news to anyone else. This update is mainly to stop Stefan complaining.

At least 10 people have mailed this in over the last month. AT LEAST. So here it is. A soulless municipal public service update about Michael Jackson's gaming memorabilia going up for auction. The full catalogue is here for the benefit of those of you who haven't already seen it and sent us a link to it.

He either (a) knew his stuff, (b) had people that knew their stuff, or (c) had a standing order for one of everything new.




He had everything. Virtua Racing, Crazy Taxi, Dreamcasts, Mega Drive display pods, a Lara Croft statue that's DEFINITELY been ejaculated over, pinball machines. Everything.




He even had a Saturn! $100 for a SEGA Saturn demo pod is a DEAL. The auctioneers will get a shock when this goes for $25k.




And he had Mega Touch Maxx Ruby Edition.

It's a plan for SEGA to make a new Daytona USA. He has thought it through extremely well and provided links to back up his reasoning.

Hey guys, love the site. With regards to the Blue Skies Campaign, we may be on the cusp of a major triumph. It seems like EA is no longer interested in the NASCAR license.

http://www.joystiq.com/2009/02/25/eas-nascar-exclusivity-in-question-sim-series-on-hold/

What does this mean? Well, the International Speedway Corporation, owned by NASCAR's France family, owns the Daytona USA trademark. They used it for a tourist attraction at the Daytona International Speedway, but the name was changed recently.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Speedway_Corporation

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daytona_500_Experience

My theory here is that if SEGA grabs the NASCAR license, they can FINALLY have the means to make a new Daytona USA game, and they can probably team up with Image Space Incorporated to make a PC NASCAR simulator.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image_Space_Incorporated

Everybody wins!

Here's what we do. We go on Sega America's twitter and nag them to get the license.

http://twitter.com/SegaAmerica

I did my part, and they said, to quote, "sorry, can't say one way or the other." They didn't deny it outright, so this is the time to strike! Help me out and soon enough, we could have the greatest moment in the Blue Skies Campaign! LET'S DO IT!

BY WAY OF AN APOLOGY
Here's a shit-load of screenshots we've taken of the arcade version of Daytona USA running under that Model 2 emulator.




The Model 2 emulator is awesome. Very nice. It runs perfect, even on the cheap mass-produced computer that powers UKR.




The latest-generation UKR "Con" is powered by a Core 2 Duo E8200. There are three "gigs" of RAM in it, plus whatever Dell's default cheapest graphics card was six months ago.




Adam Doree can't get it to work though!




ADAM DOREE: "My PC is really precarious at the moment - I can't afford any crashes or reboots as sometimes it decides to take FIVE CUNTING HOURS to successfully boot, so I have to wait till that's sorted before revisiting the M2 emu which crashed me last time. Er, does this sound right though? The Daytona ROM I have is only 14.5MB? That can't be right surely?"




Yes, Adam, it's right.




It also runs SEGA Rally perfectly and anything else you can find the ROMs of.




There's a bundle of Model 2 ROMs on the torrent sites.




We'll probably have to explain to Adam Doree how to find those as well, if he ever gets a PC good enough to run it.




We never dreamed we'd be able to (a) play Daytona USA all day for free or (b) take screenshots and examine its glorious textures.




We only selected "Manual" for the purposes of taking this screenshot. In actual play, it was automatic all the way.




Offramp! What does that even mean? We've spent all morning reading the textures of the cars. Screenshot #5 up there shows a car sponsored by a record company called just "Records."





That car is sponsored by SG8. AM2 was too busy making the world's best-ever driving game to have meetings where it spent all morning thinking up clever names for things.




Driving up to Jeff is also a good way to spend an afternoon.




We're not doing very well. It's hard setting up the controller to work satisfactorily. That's the only complaint.




Sliding, probably by accident.




Angular seagull!




Crash ahead!




Horses! When you're playing for free, wasting a go by driving off the track to examine the surroundings is an OK thing to do.




SEGA was pioneering environmental power generation even in the early 1990s. That sky texture would make a lovely background for a blog about games, wouldn't it?




Get it. Press F12 to take a screen grab. It dumps them in a folder automatically. Away you go.

What makes this jacket so unusual?

"...what makes this jacket so unusual is the HUGE 15 inch wide by 12 inch tall EMBROIDERED Systems patch featuring Mario the Plumber and Sonic the Hedgehog.

It's nice that he called Mario "Mario the Plumber". It implies that Nintendo copied SEGA and that Mario isn't famous enough to just be called Mario. This is what we should all tell our children, if any of us are ever lucky enough to be allowed to have sex and the recipient of the sex is willing to follow through with it.




The correct spelling of "centre" suggests this could have originated in PAL territories, although the use of "Genesis" suggests otherwise. Which country called the Mega Drive the Genesis but also spells centre centre? Or is it just a manufacturing error? We're on a knife-edge!




We would very much like to hear from any former employees of the Hi-Tech Game Centre. Hopefully it was based in a medium-sized Northern shopping centre and the sign and shuttered-closed shop front are still visible.

This is not viral marketing. This man has not been hand-picked from a modelling agency to represent a particular demographic. There was no stylist involved in choosing that hat.

He is, as they say, FOR REAL.




Found by a reader called "Alexander". We had no idea we were highbrow enough to attract Alexanders. He probably has A-Levels and a job and everything.