UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
How? How do people get jobs where all their ideas, no matter how stupid, get made? As dumb as the dreams you zap in and out of during your 14th hour of restless sleep on a Sunday morning, the Venom Interactive Action Arena is set to do for interactive gaming what the Sega Activator did a decade ago -- ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

See how the grinning youth is fighting a Westernised, early 1990s Sega of America box art character. That's what Lau would've looked like in Virtua Fighter: The Cartoon. They've put two 'i's in "fightiing" and the rings behind the game character are presumably there to symboilise how he's "come to life". Even more amusingly, this costs 60 quid to buy. Hypothetically.

At least it isn't by Sega and only for Gamecube.
Rich is currently working on the soundtrack to Sega's action adventure sequel Headhunter: Redemption, so all this week we'd like to help Rich out by suggesting some lyrics he could use in the songs -- hopefully it isn't too late!

HEADHUNTER LYRICS #1: Headhunter's Theme

Going undercover in the still of the night!
Rocking with my lover in the thrill of the fight!

Feeling like a tiger as I sneak through the dark!
Senses getting higher as I'm making my mark!

We'll save the world!
Rockin' boy and girl!

Weapon at the ready as I blast through the door!
Trigger holdin' steady as you all hit the floor!

Sneakin' like a spy I've got you all in my sights!
I swat you like a fly and disappear in the night!

We're your destiny!
Help the world break free!

Head-Hunters YEAH!
NO REDEMPTION! We'll track you down!

Head-Hunters YEAH!
NO REDEMPTION! You'd better leave this town...
You couldn't make it up!

We went to the Design Museum. The piss-poor drawings of pretend houses by 1960s drug victims were accompanied by an exhibition about video games, in which some wanky retro nobs -- probably all called Graham -- lined up their precious old collection for adoration.

(Dreamcast not pictured)

Tomb Raider III was unbelievably set up to educate the public about game design, while grown men sat opposite ironically playing Pong. Two of the six PSones used for demo purposes had amusingly crashed, unless that was supposed to be a deep artistic statement on the blank and lifeless future the entire games industry is CRASHING HEADLONG towards.

What we learned from the day: It's best to STAY AT HOME WATCHING TV AND WANKING AT THE WEEKENDS.

Breaking News...
Sony to shelve plans for celebrity-endorsed EyeToy ad campaign.

Codemasters introduce the latest installment in the series devoted to this exciting and likeable Scotsman.

Colin McRae Rally 5 - What's The Point? takes the series forward with a massive multi-event Challenged Career. Help Colin find the most relaxing position on his sofa as he watches the 2004/5 World Rally Championship on the Telly. Bonus stages include the 10 second walk to the Kitchen or the slightly trickier 12 second walk to the toilet. Hazards include avoiding the dog, catching his trouser pocket on the door handle and not bumping in to that little table with the phone on it. Individual damage models now feature, with Colin's empty beer cans now crushable and the TV remote can lose its battery compartment cover. Available this autumn on Xbox and PS2.