LAZY WEB JOURNALIST BASES ENTIRE STORY ON WHAT A SHOP SAYS
This happens every single day now. It’s getting tiresome the way our news sources are full of the half-arsed observations of lazy cocks who think research is refreshing Amazon. Do you really think the Web Admin Assistant who updates 50-million pages a day at Amazon has a hotline to Sony, Microsft, Valve and Nintendo, or are they, perhaps, just guessing?
The fact that the date just-so-happens to be a Friday, only means Web Admin Assistant Steve knows games come out on Fridays, hence him randomly picking a Friday. Honestly. Some people.
SEGA beats EA!
Look! Some magical old 2D games have knocked the piss-poor Need for Speed Underground 2 off the top of the charts! This will probably result in Sega buying EA and turning all EA’s dull sport/car franchises into colourful arcade dreams! Dreamcast 2 is surely imminent now! Go Sega!
After the hostile buyout, Sega will sack all EA staff and only keep about three of the most profitable franchises alive (which will be phased out over the next 18 months until nothing remains).
What the internet's for
When programmer Ian Ternet first created his global network of computers for the distribution of hi-res photos of actress Kirsten Dunst he could hardly have imagined just how successful his invention would be. Now used for so much more than simply distributing hi-res photos of Kirsten Dunst, the IanTernet PC-to-PC Dunst Link Protocol (commonly shortened to internet) has grown -- and keeps growing! -- to include photos of most Hollywood actresses and several TV stars.
What we're reading at the moment, although we keep losing interest halfway through chapter two.
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW?
Each post .02% worse than the last.
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand.
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass.
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near.
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend.
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny.
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary.
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.