This thing in which we referred to a red camera as coming in "Inflamed Eczema Red," launching a new subversive thread in which we will insert fictional product colour names in stories until someone complains about it and we're made to stop and go back through every update we've ever written and remove them all. That's what passes for FUN around here! This thing about cheap Xbox 360s. This thing about power cables which we were told to write, presumably as punishment for Inflamed Eczema Red. This thing which shows we know how advertising works. This thing about a product aimed at sporty women, because you can't not use pictures like this when they come along: This thing about terrorists using World of Warcraft to plan attacks. This thing about Halo, because we are supposed to be interested in things like Halo. This thing about a new invention that will save your brain from having to do any remembering of what things look like. This thing which accuses London taxi drivers of being thieves. We expected to get threatened with a beating for this, but it turns out London taxi drivers don't spend their off-duty time slagging people off on the internet. This thing about what the Potato Genome Sequencing Consortium is up to these days, which also includes a brief layman's guide to how DNA works. This thing about pictures we can't not use when they come along, because you can't not use pictures like this when they come along: This thing about the order in which the Vaio CS11 series is going to be discounted. This thing about demographics not matching up. It may have gone over the heads of the readership. This thing about the latest developments in wanking machines, because, when it comes to wanking machines, we are emerging as experts. This thing about Kane Kramer inventing the iPod in 1979. We tried to launch a global campaign to get Steve Jobs to buy Kane a Ferrari as a thank you, but it didn't really take off. This thing about a woman called Kelly Ripa nearly getting into a washing machine, because you can't not use pictures like this when they come along: BENDING OVER HITCHING UP DRESS TO REVEAL BOTTOM/TAIL NEEDY SMILE PLAYFULLY SLAPPING OWN ARSE
"Thought you might like to know that I went on a 'community day' (which is basically flash talk for inviting a load of geeks) at SEGA HQ yesterday to witness the arm-straining epicness of Mario and Sonic at the Olympic games. Not only was food and travel paid for, I got to meet Sonic and Mario (in reality two out of work drama female students in horrendous costumes, but hey, they poured their hearts and souls into it), make a complete arsehole of myself and - best of all - take a huge dump in SEGA's toilet! I've attached a photo of the sign that's on the inside of said dumpster; it's not particularly amusing but it has SEGA written on it, so I took more notice of it than I would have usually done of signage in bogs."
This thing about Band X releasing a song in Video Game Y. This thing about maybe downloading Spore off the internet and not even bothering to install it just to piss off THE MAN (although the "angle" we used at the time was different and much less interesting). This thing about whoever owns the Commodore brand these days. Someone nicely explained the situation in a comment. This thing about Microsoft managing to make a Japanese Xbox 360 graph point UP. This thing about Gears of War 2 being the shittest game of all time, which we can get away with doing over there now because the commenting system is broken so nobody can leave messages calling us cunts. This thing about Miss IFA being ignored, because you can't not use pictures like this when they come along:
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Labels: WAR ON PS3
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW?
Each post .02% worse than the last.
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand.
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass.
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near.
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend.
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny.
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary.
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.