UK:RESISTANCE: FAT KID WITH ENERGY DRINK BUYS NEW CONSOLE

FAT KID WITH ENERGY DRINK BUYS NEW CONSOLE

Fat kid. Energy drink. Games console. There's a burger in his back pocket and a tuna wrap hidden up his arse in case they didn't allow food in the venue.

You wouldn't need so much additional energy from sugar and caffeine if you weren't lugging 75 additional pounds around with you everywhere.

Posted by Cmdr_Zorg 12:07:00 PM 43 comments

Studley said...

Unless my dwindling eyesight is deceiving me, that appears to be a Mario-branded energy drink. And it appears to be called LEVEL UP, even though there is precious little levelling-up in Mario games (Mario RPG notwithstanding).

It should clearly be called SHINE GET.

12:15 PM

GigerPunk said...

He should clearly be labelled FAT GET.

12:41 PM

GigerPunk said...

Previous wv was "chipcon" = a monthly convention that would surely be a dream come true to the salad-dodger pictured above?

12:42 PM

Anonymous said...

Let me guess... He's called Egg Monroe? And he's older?

1:09 PM

bilal said...

I'm not totally convinced that's a man. It could easily be a woman, we've all seen women that look like that. Although there's a real woman in the background to compare him to, which makes it harder to believe he's a woman.

Also, surely they could've arranged it to not have all the 360 stuff in the background?

1:23 PM

AT said...

Hmm, making fun of the overweight.

Surely pitching to the wrong audience aren't you, Zorg?

wv: emuleost = notice put up in the window of Rod Hull's local post office.

2:00 PM

Anonymous said...

her names egg monroe she older

2:07 PM

Monty Bobbins said...

You should have mentioned his race too, for EVEN MORE hilarity.

Fat jokes, disabled jokes. Past accusations of racist paraphernalia. It's all sunshine here.

2:11 PM

Meandmy said...

http://g.imagehost.org/0482/shiiip.jpg
Says it all, really.

2:30 PM

Photoboy said...

Are the people in the background applauding because he's about to eat the DSi whole?

3:01 PM

GigerPunk said...

Meandmy, you seem to be labouring under the misapprehension we prefer Nintendo to Sony. We don't give a shit about either.
Sheep, on the other hand...

3:08 PM

MADDIE MCCANN said...

I WOULD FUCK A SHEEP/ I BET IT'S FLUFFY AND WARM. LIKE MY DAD.

3:21 PM

Anonymous said...

NINTENDO 64!!!!!

3:52 PM

Charlie Chester said...

I remember when games used to be fun:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpJyG7B6tAI

3:56 PM

Anonymous said...

That's one of those Mario energy drinks they sell at the Nintendo shop. Tates like Red Bull but even shitter.

4:12 PM

Anonymous said...

I'm stuggling to pin down his ethnicity

4:37 PM

Enn said...

ethnicity is redundant when you're so large your identity can't cover your entire self.

Also, from this angle I feel like I'm the one being eaten.

6:06 PM

Neil said...

The only Nintendo DSi in Fiji? Christ, I don't know.

6:51 PM

Neil said...

Look at those tonsils. I bet they've rubbed against a few cream cakes in their time.

6:52 PM

Photoboy said...

You bring up a good point. His tongue looks like it's got a thick coat on it which usually indicates digestive problems, possibly due to lactose intolerance.

7:06 PM

Martin Fowler (off dah fahkin' telly innit) said...

He's oviarsely garglin' cummins. Der. XD

wv: undes. Latin undies! Or an anagram of nudes. Either's good f'me.

10:52 PM

Cheesecake said...

If Sonic drank a Super Mario branded energy drink, would it make him slower?

12:17 AM

Anonymous said...

Egg-person is getting sloppy. It's leaving letters behind! Pick up after yourself douchebag!

4:51 AM

Branch-me-do said...

What good is a DSi to him? According to the adverts, it's only good for trendy 20 somethings to do the sort of picture and sound distortion tricks that we've done for years with computers (and which got boring about three minutes later) while sitting in fucking Starbucks with their boyfriends.

11:59 AM

mr low stanards said...

would

12:50 PM

FuzzyPiggy said...

Fecks sake! I am sick and tired of seeing these ugly, fat losers having to have their pictures taken being first to buy the first, usually bug-ridden, edition of any new games console! Lap it up ya fecking fat, useless, glob of lard 'cos that's your 15 mins up! You know what kid, apart from the 4 other fat shut-ins on your facebook page who call you friend, no one else in the entire universe gives a monkey's toss about you, your sad devotion to a company brand or you getting your obese, globulous waste-of-life face published!

3:01 PM

Anonymous said...

Amen FuzzyPiggy! What a bunch of losers. Them and those people who get all worked up over a blog post.

3:30 PM

Anonymous said...

That guy is going to be so pissed off when he finds a nokia N-Gage in that box instead of his beloved DSi.

11:33 PM

Anonymous said...

never mind the fat whale at the front. How sad would your life have to be, if you are standing in a shop taking a photo of this prick buying a DSi like those morons in the backgroud?

1:41 AM

Anonymous said...

They're not taking photos because it's got a dsi in its paws.

They're taking photos because it's managed to rear up and stand on its hind legs.

1:52 AM

Anonymous said...

MAN THE HARPOONS

4:41 AM

Cutman said...

Ds console with a mobile phone camera and a baby version of photoshop WHAEEEEYYY

11:38 AM

Anonymous said...

The DSI's good for web browsing at least, especially when you have a drug-addled teenager who won't shift his arse off the computer 'cause he's playing WOW day in, day out.

1:11 PM

Picard said...

KILL IT WITH FIRE

1:23 PM

AT said...

Zorg must have called in sick today. He's probably in Brighton with egg monroe or whatever her name is. Shit weather for it though.

1:44 PM

Holocaust Joe said...

I dreamt about Zorg last night. I know. I think it was linked to having read an article about Sega losing all their source code and my brain picking the only Sega type person I know of in response. We were best friends ever but when I woke up, none of it was real.

=(

3:12 PM

Anonymous said...

I'm in Brighton.
Haven't felt Zorg's presence though...

WV: nonrefil - fuck it, far too easy.

4:11 PM

FuzzyPiggy said...

Damn right that fuzzypig needs to get a life right now!

7:04 PM

Anonymouse said...

If Zorg's sick who's manning the phones?

4:44 AM

Kill Zone 3 said...

Is that it? Has he finally given up?

11:02 AM

Postumo said...

I wonder what's for dinner...

11:41 AM

googles49 said...

Reminds me of a pic (couldn't find it on google) from the Dreamcast launch in Japan! Only the kid wasn't quite as fat and far happier-looking, *sighs* wait... what am I sighing about? I waited for a PS2 :P

4:00 AM

Anonymous said...

You guys act like you don't play videogames at all. Commenting on a pic of someone who's happy to get a Nintendo DSi. If you guys are so cool, then why are you even visiting a geeky site such as this one? Stop being hypocrites, assholes.

3:43 PM

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