Labels: HISTORY
Labels: ENTHUSIASM
Labels: ENTHUSIASM
Labels: PR DISASTER
OTHER PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE REASONS TO NOT LIKE UBISOFT:It releases the same squad-based game only with a different name at least five times a year, triggering a Pavlovian reaction in us that makes us turn off everything electrical in the house upon hearing the phrase "Tom Clancy's...". Being MADE to review Splinter Cell because no one ever wants to review Splinter Cell because Splinter Cell is boring, too hard and rubbish, and only liked by weirdos who pay fat prostitutes to sandpaper their cocks in dungeons at the weekend while they let out the tears of pain away from the wife and kids. It has announced a Wii game called Horsez 2 and if that isn't a sign that another video game crash is no more than six months away, we don't know what is.
Labels: GONZO
Labels: ENTHUSIASM
HOW PS3 OWNERS THINK IT HAS "GONE" SO FAR FOR PS3 IN EUROPE:
"I think the whole EU thing is going to slow to a halt if Sony don’t get the price of the unit down and, more importantly, *start getting some content on the PSN store!*"
"I’m currently recommending to my friends to wait until September before buying as it *may* be cheaper and there *may* be more popular franchises available..."
"I can’t remember the last time I turned my PS3 on... The PlayStation store is bare, and the release schedule over the next few months is also empty... These are hard times for early adopters who shelled out a lot of cash to play good games as quite simply there aren’t any more to play bar those that arrived on day one."
"There are no games I am interested in released here, and absolutely zero movement on the online store, and no reason for me to turn it on at all. Sony had better pull their thumbs out if they expect me to spend any money on games."
"It’s going to be Wii60 everywhere this generation unless Sony can remove their head from a dark place and slash the price by 40 percent in all territories."
"Well my PS3 is a very bad PS2 machine at the moment because of the lack of new content since the launch I’m having to just play badly compatible PS2 games on it. Played all the launch games and I’ve already beaten Oblivion on the 360 and PC. I’m also hearing from my local game more then half the people who have bought it have taken it back and sales are around 1 per week."
"I haven’t used it for anything other than the photo album for about a month."
"We need more games, and better games, all the games that I can play right now looks like they are unfinished versions. PSN sucks, every game has his own way to invite friends, you can not chat with a friend while playing a game. Please we need something equals to Xbox Live and if you can, Better than XBL."
"Lately its just gathering dust really. No new content just a bunch of old trailers and 20 year old games no one wants to play anymore. And what about the games, seems like all the titles just keep getting pushed back and pushed back, how are SONY supposed to keep me interested in the PS3 if there is no new CONTENT. Compared to XBL the PSN is a joke, really. But after all said and done, I'm happy with my 600 euro folding machine, glad i can help Stanford university out."
"I want a PS3 - but until a significant price drop occurs there is no way I’ll be buying one... Judging by the amount available in stores, I guess I’m not the only one!"
Labels: PR DISASTER
Labels: HISTORY
Labels: GONZO
Labels: ENTHUSIASM
Labels: WAR ON PS3
NORTH AMERICAN HARDWARE SALES FOR APRIL 2007:
DS: 471k
Wii: 360k
PS2: 194k
PSP: 183k
360: 174k
GBA: 84k
PS3: 82k
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Labels: PR DISASTER
THE SITE'S INTRO, PUT THROUGH BABEL FISH, AS ANYTHING PUT THROUGH BABEL FISH IS INSTANTLY AMAZINGLY FUNNY:
"Gaming has many faces - and one of it is yours. Show it: Your picture loads high and shows operational readiness level! Support our on-line initiative, in order to show the public that players are completely normal humans from all social classes and not part of a dark fringe group. We reject the overall condemnation of PC and video games in the connection of acts of violence, which ignores social and personal bad states of the authors unjustified. Players stand together - for their hobby, for appropriate protection of children and young people and against material force."
THAT WASN'T FUNNY ENOUGH, SO WE TRANSLATED THAT INTO FRENCH, THEN BACK INTO ENGLISH:
"The play has many faces - and one of him is with you. Show it: Your image charges the high one and shows the operational level of promptitude! Support our initiative on line, in order to prove to the public which the players are human the completion normal of all the social classes and not part of a dark group of fringe. Us kids the total judgment of the PC and the video games in the connection of the acts of violence, which is unaware of bad the social and personal states unjustified authors. The players are held together - for their pastime, for suitable protection of the children and the young people and against the material force."
Labels: GONZO
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Labels: ENTHUSIASM
NDS: 285,192 WII: 101,320 PSP: 35,172 PS2: 14,815 PS3: 12,974 360: 3,205
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Labels: GONZO
Labels: GONZO
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Labels: GONZO
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. ADVANCE NOTIFICATION OF "CHANGE" LITERALLY 30 PHOTOS FROM A MAN'S "SEGA HONEYMOON" A NASCAR TATTOO THAT TWO MEN THINK LOOKS LIKE DAYT... "EA ANNOUNCES COLLABORATION BETWEEN HOT NEW POP TA... "RICHARD JACQUES STUDIOS CONTINUES TO GO FROM STRE... CODEMASTERS HAS A GO AT 'URBAN' FOR 'FUEL' TRANS-EUROPEAN LARA CROFT STALKING UPDATE NINTENDO WINNING CRITICAL LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY BA... WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO IDIOT TOYS? THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.