17.58pm It's about to start!
18.00pm It's probably a bit late starting!
18.05pm It's probably started!
18.08pm Peter Moore is probably saying something about how great a start it's been for Xbox 360. Maybe he will take a sly sideswipe at PS3, while subtly advocating Nintendo Wii!
18.10pm The crowd is probably getting a bit bored now, and just wishing they'd show a trailer of Halo 3 or DoA Xtreme 2, instead of talking about how many people downloaded Cloning Clyde.
18.18pm If we were there, we'd be hoping some dancing girls dressed like Ulala take to the stage to herald the immediate availability of Space Channel 5 Part 3 on Xbox Live Arcade.
18.25pm At this point in procedings we tend to look down at our dictaphone to see that it has stopped recording. Or we forgot to start it recording in the first place. Oh well, we can always just rewrite everything from Eurogamer tomorrow.
18.32pm At this point we might have summoned up the courage to take a photograph!
18.40pm 40 minutes in, all the girls in the room should have been neatly categorised and given scores out of ten. This is always the most important part of any event.
18.50pm It's probably about to finish.
18.57pm It's probably finished! Time to head off to whatever event they have planned and be the most drunk person by miles within 30 minutes.
Labels: MEAT BAGS (WOMEN)
THINGS WE'VE BEEN SAYING TO OURSELVES RECENTLY
1. We don't want to play Metal Gear Solid 4 anyway
2. The Virtua Fighter series peaked with VF3
3. Rachel's tits aren't that amazing they're worth spending 500 quid on rotating a camera around
4. We can't keep this up for another five years.
"It is rumored, however, the game may support between 0 and 1 players" "Premium will ship with 30 dragons but the Basic edition will ship with no dragons. One of the main features of the online package will be the option to purchase extra dragons via 'sonsactions'" "...a screenshot released shows a man in heavy armour riding a mighty monkey steed" "Lair is a upcoming game being developed by Factor 5 and published through Sony Computer Entertainment America for the Sony PlayStation 3 video game console. It uses the Wii controller's tilt functions for movement within the game" "Lair is a collection of captured images from Sean Connery crap-fest "Dragonheart". They will be exclusively viewable on Sony's billion dollar PS3" The premise of the game revolves around ordering pewter dragons from mail-order companies that advertise in the back of Sunday supplement magazines. The more dragons you order, the bigger your army (the combat phase of gameplay takes place within the impoverished fantasy life of the game's hirsute protagonist, Simon), although this leads to an increasing chance of you defaulting on your installment plan, and having your kneecaps shattered by a sociopathic bailiff, 'Bricka'" "You will need two PS3s, two copies of Lair from the same shop of the same edition (five editions are confirmed), a link cable and two SonyLAIR HDTVs as on all other TVs the graphics are scrambled" "...it wants to be a launch title, because dragon games sell"
"WE ARE ENCHANTED TO ON BOARD GIVE TO THE WELCOME TO JAVIER AND JOSE" (THE PRESS RELEASE FED THROUGH BABELFISH, AS THAT'S BEEN FUNNY SINCE WE FIRST GOT THE INTERNET IN 1995):
SEGA RETURNS To SPAIN
SEGA of Europe announces the opening of their new Spanish office, agreeing with 15 anniversary of Sonic.
SEGA Europe Ltd., today makes the opening public of their new office in Madrid, Spain.
The return of the emblematic Japanese company to our country obeys to the consolidation strategy as one of the main publishers in the new generation of platforms of electronic entertainment adopted by SEGA and supposes a recognition to the growth and potential of the Spanish market.
SEGA of Spain begins their walking with an equipment of Marketing and Communication, headed by Javier Rodriguez - Director of Marketing - and Jose Herráez - PR Manager -. During the stage of implementation of the Japanese company in Spain, including the next campaign navideña, the SEGA titles will continue being distributed by Atari.
"The Spanish market has received great relevance in the last years and it has become one of most important of Europe." It affirms to Mike Hayes, President and COO of SEGA Europe. "The opening of a seat of SEGA in Spain is a logical step in our strategy of growth and we are enchanted to on board give to the welcome to Javier and Jose."
Javier Rodriguez, Director of Marketing of SEGA of Spain, affirms. "SEGA is an emblematic mark that has written whole chapters in the history of the videojuegos. SEGA of Spain is born with the ambition to settle down as one of the marks leaders in the new generation of videojuegos. The opening of the Spanish office supposes an exciting challenge and our plans for the future are going to excite and to surprise all the sector of the videojuegos."
On SEGA® SEGA Europe Ltd.
It is the European division of Japanese the SEGA Corporation, one of the companies leaders in the edition of software of entertainment for consoles, PC and moving bodies. For more information, it visits www.sega-europe.com
THE PROPER PRESS RELEASE, SO THIS UPDATE LOOKS A BIT LESS WEIRD AND FRIGHTENING:
5th September 2006. GameCity is beside itself with excitement in announcing the confirmation of game music legend Richard Jacques, who will performing an exclusive live set at GameCity this October. Performing principally on pianoforte, Jacques will be treating the audience to a series of specially arranged renditions, forming a retrospective of some of the most loved SEGA classics.
Following his appearance at the Hollywood Bowl with the Los Angeles Philharmonic, Richard is delighted to be back performing in the UK. He says, "I'm really excited to be appearing at GameCity and highlight the role of music in videogames. It's a rare event that makes game culture truly accessible to the public, but it's so important that it's done. I can't wait."
This unique concert event will take place at 2pm on Saturday 28th October, in the majestic setting of St Mary's Church in the Lace Market, Nottingham - which will be candle-lit for the event. Whilst the precise contents of the set-list must remain undisclosed, we are able to reveal that "Sonic the Hedgehog Medley", "Shenmue Improvisations" and "Outrun" WILL be being performed.
Phil Lamb, UK Product Manager at SEGA, commented: "Richard Jacques is a talented musician who has produced some fantastic music for SEGA over the years. Richard's many contributions have complimented the games perfectly and have really enhanced the experience for the players. Having most recently worked with us on some cracking remixes on the soundtrack for OutRun2, Richard has proved to be a real hit with SEGA fans everywhere."
In 2005, Jacques' game music was performed by the Los Angeles Philharmonic at the Hollywood Bowl for "Video Games Live" to more than 11, 000 fans of video games and orchestral and choral music. Not only was Jacques' music selected for the world's largest video game music symphony concert, accompanied by cinematics on the big screen and laser light show, but given his expertise and knowledge of live orchestra Jacques was also invited to arrange and orchestrate the special retro Classic Arcade Medley featuring over 20 games from Pong to Donkey Kong including such classics as Dragon's Lair, Tetris, Frogger, Gauntlet, Space Invaders and Outrun. In addition, having scored games in the multi-million selling Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, Jacques was selected to arrange and orchestrate the Sonic medley, prompting high praise from Sonic creator Yuji Naka himself.
With the supporting bill yet to be disclosed, Jacques is already providing one of the hottest tickets for GameCity 2006.
Labels: MEAT BAGS (WOMEN)
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