This thing about the world's only gay-friendly rapper Mr C flogging off his vinyl collection for a staggering £75,000. This thing in which we remind today's kids that Dreamcast was AND ALWAYS WILL BE the best console of all time. This thing in which Bungie tells its idiot fans how to pronounce the name of its new game in a non-ironic fashion that defies belief. This thing about a space-based piss-party. We didn't use the phrase "piss party" over there, though. But here it's fine. This thing about new KINDS OF HAIR :( This thing about you'll never guess who OH YES, SHIT OLD SONY AGAIN making its weekly PR blunder of a hitherto unknown magnitude. This thing about the Samsung DRUMPER, because you can't not use pictures like this when they come along:
Labels: WAR ON PS3
This thing about a hilarious internet "meme" that got taken way too seriously and people just ended up embarrassing themselves by being too "into it." This thing about possibly getting new kinds of shoes for a pretend man to wear in a non-existent place :( This thing about how external HDs are only ever used by men to hide their 'Sunday Best' porn on/in. This thing about Microsoft going slightly INSANE and making claims it can't really live up to. This thing about US console sales, which includes YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO? OH YES, SHIT OLD SONY! in very last place as usual. This thing about the 'Yellow Toy Collection' Princess, as she will no doubt soon be forced to rename herself when Nintendo's people hear of it. This thing about mucky little well-polished-turd Avril Lavigne holding it up for Canon, because you can't not use pictures like this when they come along:
GO!VIEW and The History Channel to give PSP(tm) users a piece of the past
From ancient civilisations to the world's greatest air battles, GO!VIEW now brings PSP(tm) users some of the most interesting stories in history with programming from The History Channel. With hours of content available including popular series such as Ax Men, Rome: Rise and Fall of an Empire and Dogfights, as well as a range of one hour documentaries, PSP(tm) owners can now take a little bit of history with them wherever they go.
Content from The History Channel is offered as part of the Entertainment subscription pack, available on GO!VIEW for just £5 per month. Continuing GO!VIEW's commitment to provide great content for its customers, this latest partnership allows PSP(tm) owners to transfer highlights from The History Channel to watch on-the-go and on-demand. What's more, PSP(tm) users can currently trial GO!VIEW free for thirty days.
Richard Melman, Acting Managing Director of The History Channel says; "We are absolutely delighted to expand and capitalise on the success of The History Channel via this exciting new platform. Now I've got an even better excuse to buy a PSP(tm)!"
In addition to the Entertainment Pack, PSP(tm) users can also subscribe to the Sports and Comedy Packs available on GO!VIEW by monthly subscription, whilst selected 'Movies to Rent' and 'Latest TV to Rent' can be transferred via the rental service. Subscription packs are priced at £5 (€7) for 1 pack, £8 (€11) for 2 packs and £10 (€14) for all three packs. Rental TV is available from £1.50 (€2.00) per episode and a range of movies is available from £2.50 (€3.20) each.
Go!VIEW is a joint venture between Sony Computer Entertainment Europe and BSkyB who have established the joint venture 'GO!VIEW Entertainment UK'. This is being used to bring the PSP video-on-demand to market in the UK, Northern Ireland, Republic of Ireland, Channel Islands & the Isle of Man. Sky is providing their expertise in building successful video-on-demand platforms as well as content acquisition. Sony Computer Entertainment is providing the marketing for the service.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
1. 790k - Fable 2 (360)
2. 487k - Wii Fit (Wii)
3. 375k - Fallout 3 (360)
4. 290k - Mario Kart (Wii)
5. 282k - Wii Play (Wii)
6. 270k - Saints Row 2 (360)
7. 231k - SOCOM (PS3)
8. 215k - LittleBigPlanet (PS3)
9. 202k - NBA 2K9 (360)
10. 193k - Dead Space (360)
Labels: WAR ON PS3
This thing about a MILF with a heart of gold. This thing about Lucy Pinder and some lies to do with Xbox 360, which got linked to by Kotaku, boosting unique reader numbers into the high teens. This thing about that Tomb Raider internet thing. This thing about a radio that comes in "moss." This thing about game sales around the world in which we forgot to point out that Sony is only three letters away from COCK. This thing about a defibrillator with a face, because we didn't do anything about attractive ladies holding items this week:
1: Gears of War 2
2: FIFA 09
3: Fallout 3
5: WWE SmackDown vs.
6: Professor Layton and the Curious Village)
7: Mario Kart Wii
8: Quantum of Solace
9: Pro Evolution Soccer 2009
10: Wii Fit
Labels: WAR ON PS3
WE HAD THE FORESIGHT TO SAVE THE TEXT
Want it from behind while you play Super Mario Brothers ? Age: 28
Date posted: Saturday 27th September
Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then.
You must know your way around the game before we meet, must be open to anal sex, also able to fake an orgasm is a plus.
I will send you the address to a hotel and a room number. When you arrive the door will be open. Please come in close and lock the door and close the shades if they are still open. I will be in the bathroom and the door will be closed. Turn on the TV and the Nintendo. Remove all of your clothing. Turn off all lights in the room and kneel down on the bed so you are directly in the light of the TV. You need to be facing the TV with your butt in the air pointed toward the pillows on the bed.
Press the start button on the controller when you are ready. I will hear the sound and turn the light off in the bathroom and come out. You will not look directly at me, only look at the TV. When the first level starts I will begin to finger you and lick you. I will be using lots of lube as well.
When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, "MORE", "HARDER", "YES", "FUCK ME", but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.
When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also orgasm. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your ass. You are allowed to say something like "OH GOD", "YES", OR "IT HURTS" no other conversation is allowed.
When level 1-4 starts I will alternate between holes as I see fit. You may beg me to cum inside or outside of you, depending on what you want. When boss falls and you reach the princess I will pull out and blow my load where you have convinced me I want too. You may then say something like "Thanks", "It was great", "I loved it", "Don't stop"
If I am impressed you may continue playing and I will continue to pleasure you. If I am not, I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom. At this time you may clean your self with the towel that is beside the bed. Turn the lights on, redress yourself and leave.
I may come back out and talk to you as you dress but the conversation will most likely be short and revolve around scheduling another time to get together.
"I'm 20 minutes into playing one of the most outrageously shit pieces of game design, ever."
"Either I'm missing something, or this whole section relies on luck and the grip button working 100% (which it doesn't, ever)"
"I got through the first terrible part, and there's another bit just as bad after it"
"It's some of the shittiest game design ever and incredibly frustrating, and after all that came before it I'm really disappointed."
"...been some really frustrating times having to restart the entire level again"
"The damned thing is a chore and I'm going to get through on luck rather than any repeatable skills because what works one time, might not work the next."
"an unfair, badly thought out piece of shit"
"makes you also feel like you are fighting the controls rather than just playing the game."
Labels: WAR ON PS3
This thing which mentions SEGA in the vaguest, slightest and almost certainly un-true-est fashion possible. This thing in which we celebrate not having to pretend to be excited about Gears of Cocking War 2 any more. This thing which is topical and about newspapers. This thing about how poor people are buying iPhones. This thing about how FOOTBALL is meant to make men buy mobile phones, because you can't not use pictures like this when they come along
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW?
Each post .02% worse than the last.
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand.
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass.
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near.
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend.
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny.
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary.
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.