And away we go! Surely the flag man has outlived his purpose, and will simply stand there as the racers fly off into the distance?
But no! This is Sega! The flag man starts exercising for the benefit of people like us who want to examine every pixel of all Sega games.
Now he starts hopping on his right foot! Can it get better than this?
YES! He's hopping on his LEFT FOOT!
Now he's stretching down to his right. We're not being sarcastic, by the way, we genuinley find this entertaining, amusing and are pleased that this happens. It's these sweet little touches that made Sega great in the first place and we're so happy that even in these miserable, mainstream gaming times, Sega can still get things like this past the focus group. If our hearts were still capable of displaying joy we'd be weeping with happiness.
Now he sort of bends forward...
...then embarks upon a series of star jumps. The flag man STAR JUMPS! How could that prick from The Sunday Times (Daniel Emery -- find him and kill him) only give this game 1/5 when the fucking flag man does fucking star jumps? How much more does a game have to give?
Now, get this -- he MOONWALKS off the screen!
Right off the screen!
Then he moonwalks back into view...
...and ends with a triumphant spin. We imagine he's grabbing his groin. We certainly are. Triple A.
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW?
Each post .02% worse than the last.
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand.
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass.
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near.
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend.
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny.
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary.
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.