And away we go! Surely the flag man has outlived his purpose, and will simply stand there as the racers fly off into the distance?
But no! This is Sega! The flag man starts exercising for the benefit of people like us who want to examine every pixel of all Sega games.
Now he starts hopping on his right foot! Can it get better than this?
YES! He's hopping on his LEFT FOOT!
Now he's stretching down to his right. We're not being sarcastic, by the way, we genuinley find this entertaining, amusing and are pleased that this happens. It's these sweet little touches that made Sega great in the first place and we're so happy that even in these miserable, mainstream gaming times, Sega can still get things like this past the focus group. If our hearts were still capable of displaying joy we'd be weeping with happiness.
Now he sort of bends forward...
...then embarks upon a series of star jumps. The flag man STAR JUMPS! How could that prick from The Sunday Times (Daniel Emery -- find him and kill him) only give this game 1/5 when the fucking flag man does fucking star jumps? How much more does a game have to give?
Now, get this -- he MOONWALKS off the screen!
Right off the screen!
Then he moonwalks back into view...
...and ends with a triumphant spin. We imagine he's grabbing his groin. We certainly are. Triple A.
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. XBOX OUTRUN2 'GOOD NEWS AVALANCHE' CONTINUES! YUJI NAKA: UGA BONG ADDICTION 'A PROBLEM' LET'S LAUGH AT ATARI'S POST-DRIV3R RELEASE SCHEDUL... What female passengers REALLY say: #1 Got an... What female passengers REALLY say: #2 What female passengers REALLY say: #3 What female passengers REALLY say: #4 What female passengers REALLY say: #5 What female passengers REALLY say: #6 What female passengers REALLY say: #7 THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
Then again... get rid of the much loved fat guy, and put Peter Andre instead. Obviously... with a way to run the silicone loving monkey boy down.