This thing about the appalling 'blending' trend. This thing about a sort of flying Segway, which features all the death/suicide references we're allowed to use in a month. This thing about an invention called a 'Walkstation' which gets treated with the contempt it deserves. This thing about how one thing LOOKS A BIT LIKE another thing, in a pretty standard barrel-scraping update idea from when there was literally no other news around. This thing about a woman getting touched-up by some firemen, because you can't not use pictures like this when they come along: This thing about broken horses. This thing about airships. This thing about a boring graph illustrating power consumption that you should only read if you're so bored you are literally about to attempt suicide with a hole punch and stapler. This thing about a robot. This thing about avant-garde new-wave European product photography, because you can't not use pictures like this when they come along: This thing about the world's fastest lift, which reveals personal details about our deprived upbringing in the woods. This thing about the Ninja Gaiden 2 box, because it was late and we hadn't done very much work that day so thought it would be a good idea to knock a quick one out before home time. This thing about an angry dad suing Microsoft and putting Linux on your PC as revenge. This thing about HD DVD sales which features the world's most unnecessary bit of PS3 bashing. This thing about a really big printer, because you can't not use pictures like this when they come along:
ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A FOOL AND A PLAYSTATION...
Me and my ill educated friend enjoy reading your site and often read through your archives together. My ill educated friend is so ill educated that he bought a PS3 shortly after its release, and is incapable of reading things that should make him feel degraded for doing so. Anyway, he reads the site, ironically, on his PS3, and the other day he clicked the link you gave to Richard's MySpace.
To our surprise the PS3 failed to load the page! The error said "there wasn't enough memory" which isn't a surprise as the console is shit and only has 256MB of ram, not even enough to run Photoshop CS2. Which it can't do anyway as Sony's "home computer" thing doesn't allow you to install things. What is a surprise is that this only happens on Jacques' MySpace page. Other MySpace pages of lesser people work fine, but Richard's will not load and crashes the browser. This is surely a sick joke from Sony. I guess they have a problem with the genius himself, and SEGA, and are just intolerant of better companies. But hey, this is expected of Sony. I hate them as much as you do. The enclosed photos are pretty poor, especially the last one, but you get the idea. Sorry if having to see something on a PS3 burns your eye sockets but we all have a job to do.
Sony has clearly caught us sleeping in this war. Now is the time to retaliate!
From Adam in Durham
PS. Warhawk is now out on PS3 for download / purchase in stores, has no single player (online exclusive) and despite being a fairly good effort at a PS3 exclusive game plus being an alright price of 20 quid, it is impossible to get into a match. Create your own and the max players is four. I wonder when Sony will learn that making something online exclusive doesn't mean it's better, it just means that the only people that can "enjoy" it are persistent fat Americans. The end had better be nigh...
This thing about some loser hooking up with some other loser so neither of them has to suffer the embarrassment of dying alone. This thing about a music search portal which features enough Pet Shop Boys references to have the internet questioning our sexual orientation for months. This thing about meetings in which we used an image from the sensational NWYH archive. This thing about an exciting development in Xbox 360 error messages. This thing about the Sony Ericsson W380, because you can't not use pictures like this when they come along:
"It's an Arsenal coach jacket. From when that goon at SEGA decided it would be better getting a free box at Highbury than informing the world of the single greatest piece of technology ever - Stefanio Walterelli."
"The jacket is not anything to do with Arsenal but is in fact an official SEGA Rally (as in the new one) jacket that was sold to SEGA staff only and given away as comp prizes some place. I work at SEGA and was on the QA team for Rally, but decided that I wasn't middle-aged enough to buy such a comfy, practical yet ugly piece of marketing apparel. Several did, however, and the office is somewhat littered with these things. If you're interested I may be able to get hold of one for you? - Will."
This thing about a toy for losers which features references to mugging pensioners AND a review of Spider-Man 3 all in 153 words. This hilarious thing about a developer ripping the piss out of PS3 in style. This thing where we RISKED DEATH by saying Halo 3 is boring on an Xbox blog. Nobody noticed. This thing where Nintendo revealed European hardware sales for all three consoles, which will really annoy the number Nazis at ChartTrack. This thing about the Airbus A380 because aeroplanes ROCK and we wanted to use the word "carrier" in a serious context. This thing about the LG "Rumor" because you pretty much have to use photos like this when they come along:
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW?
Each post .02% worse than the last.
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand.
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass.
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near.
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend.
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny.
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary.
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.