This thing in which we usher in a new era of honesty in online journalism by admitting to not having a clue about the significance of the Australian market. This thing which is just a list of old YouTube videos, but it did let us introduce our Carol Vorderman fetish to a newer and wider audience. If just one extra man imagines his wife is Carol Vorderman during sex tonight because of this, it'll all have been worth it. This thing about suing Microsoft. Includes hi-res photo of thumb. This thing which was a "high concept" joke about plagiarism, in which we plagiarised an article about plagiarism. We had to explain this to company management when uploading it, just in case we were actually accused of genuine plagiarism as a result. This thing about shopping trolley lifestyle photography, because you can't not use pictures like this when they come along: This thing about the Halo movie which isn't really very good, but we did come up with a nice idea of an ending for the film. This thing where we "liveblogged" from PC World. It was a joke about all the people that "liveblogged" from the previous day's MacWorld. It was a fun afternoon, even though we had to shower with bleach to get the smell of death (PC World) off afterwards. This thing about Star Wars shoes. There really wasn't anything better to write about on the entire internet that afternoon. This thing which is just the same old anti-Mac thing we've been banging on about for years, only done with less swearing for the mainstream. There's a photo on it too, if you want to put my head on some gay porn for the amusement of the internet. This thing about that man in his pants who says he "did" the Wii way before Nintendo. This thing about LG's "fresh meat," because you can't not use pictures like this when they come along:
Grab wife, all possesions and camera. Walk up and say "Richard, do you mind having a picture taken with me?"
RJ: "Not at all"
RJ puts arm round me... and I him...
Wife takes first photo...
So I chat for a sec and mention how you guys love him.
RJ: "I know... you're not one of their spies are you?"
Me: "No... (thinking 'not yet')"
RJ: "Will probably see this on there tomorrow with something bad, huh?"
Me: "Are you kidding only nice things about you at UK:R..."
This thing which we wasted way too many man-hours doing, seeing as it's just a boring story about some rubbish old Britney Spears videos going up on Xbox Live that no one's ever going to read. This thing about having to poo in the garden if the Sun explodes. This thing about using new Sony Memory Sticks to hold copies of PSP games, because acknowledging the existence of the rampant PSP piracy scene on an "above the line" technology site seems DANGEROUS and EXCITING to us and will probably piss Sony off no end. Which, at the end of the day, is what it's all about. This thing about a pod smokers can stand in to not get wet. This thing about Americans buying Radiohead CDs even though they could've just had it off the internet for free ages ago. This thing about some headphones, because you can't not use pictures like this when they come along:
Hopefully we'll get some sort of brain injury that will wipe our memories of ever having played any good games. Otherwise this site may well turn into the UK's foremost cynical DIY and gardening blog.
Ninja Gaiden 2 Maybe re-buying Animal Crossing on DS
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW?
Each post .02% worse than the last.
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand.
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass.
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near.
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend.
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny.
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary.
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.