THINGS CURRENTLY OUTSELLING PS3:
Package holidays to Baghdad
Jade Goody's perfume
The Thick of it - Series 1 DVD
CRT Televisions
Nokia N-Gage
Graphics: We're only judging it on screenshots and YouTube videos but it obviously looks better than anything on PS3 117%
Sound: It's got music and sound effects like explosions and laser guns. They've probably put some clever stuff in that makes sounds come out of different speakers aswell. Amazing! 6/5
Gameplay: We're guessing it's like other Halo games but better as they've had ages to work on it ******
Overall: Epic, awesome, incredible etc. 11/10
"My question is: Why the hell do America and Europe have to wait until spring 2008 to get the new controller when Japan gets it in 2 months?!?! It is not as if there is any localisation to be done! It's a really moronic strategy really."
"I think that nowadays I've wasted my money with PS3, no LBP, no Home, and now, a new controller with rumble, a thing of the past said sony in E3 06."
"Can you ask Sony why America and Japan are getting vibration this November and we're not getting it til Spring? Cos a lot of us are pretty ticked off at being screwed over again!"
"I still remember an official statement by Sony, just less than one month ago, they say no rumble feature under development for PS3 controller, neither in future."
"'You get what you pay for'!?!! A 425 bookend isn't what I had in mind."
"I really don't see how anyone could be delighted with the quality offered by PS3 so far. Underwhelming European store updates, games coming out weeks after their 360 counterparts or being shunted into 2008, new SKUs and controllers barely a year from the initial release. I really wish i could afford to say the games are just a bonus but i bought the thing as a games machine and so far it just hasn’t delivered."
"I thought Sony were telling the truth in their pre-launch hype that is why I bought a PS3 at launch. Singstar was supposed to be a launch title for goodness sakes. The pre-launch title schedule looked amazing, now we get shafted time and again on pricing,releases,information and store updates."
"Seriously–how do the execs at Sony expect to turn things around with crap 1st party software (Warhawk excluded), delays, and a crap online service(currently... and maybe still in the future, if @ Home doesn't show up in Spring...)? Seriously? Are the Sony execs even tuned in?"
"Developers are jumping ship too as they keep slandering it, the 'competition' is owning the PS3 on all fronts. The PS3 doesn't really have anything that sets it apart. Where are all the classic games we were promised for the PSN ? I'll tell you, they're on the Virtual Console and on XBLA."
PRIZE WINNER: "Simply not good enough. The Delaystation3 is beyond a joke, delays, more delays, no news or information from Sony, poor ports of games. The store is substandard at best, you are trying to con us into buying aged PS1 games for a second time. The so called console seller Hevenly Sword was in my opinion a step backward in gaming. I am not at all happy with this situation or this console. I cannot believe Sony have treated loyal customers in this way."
"Vote with your wallet people, its the only thing that hits these corporations."
THE ENTIRE, RUBBISH, BEWILDERING PRESS RELEASE
SEGA "Race" to reveal London Preview Line up
Sega Amusements Europe Ltd. will reveal a star studded cast of new product at this year's London Preview. The world market leader will have more than nine new pieces on offer, with both World and European exclusives.
Headlining will be Sega's brand new Race TV an all American style twin driver. The all singing all dancing driver is full of thrills and spills, with 4 car multi-play, 8 unique character drivers, 5 courses, licensed cars, a special boost feature, real time live commentary and special password accessing. The twin cabinet is sure to delight with its eye catching look!
Shoot This Win This will add even more fun to the line up - this gun shooting "skill based" game will have its global unveiling at the London show and is sure to wow audiences. Shoot This Win This is a single player, skill based shooting game, giving players the chance to play 6 carnival style mini games on a 26" TFT widescreen and win prizes. Developed in conjunction with Hollywood gaming Shoot This Win This also offers an optional redemption facility making it even more appealing to players and operators alike - a sure fire hit!
Continuing the prize theme Sega's UFO Catcher is ready for take off after extensive successful onsite testing. The skill based prize concept game with its bright look and clean lines creates the perfect platform to display a wide array of merchandise including boxed product. An inbuilt 'Media Pack' including 19" monitor and speaker system gives operators the opportunity to advertise game play techniques and in machine prize items.
With a legendary reputation for producing No. 1 gun games it is only fitting that Sega should choose the London preview for the first European viewing of Primeval Hunt. This two player prehistoric hunting game has all the elements of extreme hunting - stealth, cunning, and skill - only bigger. Players test their wits by tracking and hunting dinosaurs across vast landscape. Unique features include the free roaming, touch screen; pump action gun, 2 player match play, and game progression. Primeval Hunt is on the mighty Lindbergh platform and available in both standard 29" monitor and deluxe 50" monitor versions for a monster experience.
Justin Burke, Sega's Marketing manager had this to say about this years preview, "Sega's line-up at the London preview will provide lots of variety for our clients, with strong products covering all areas of the market including, an exciting new driver in Race TV, the hard core gamers favourite Initial D4, new redemption pieces like Sonic Spinner, the fun family game Shoot This Win This and a further addition to the successful SEGA kids range - a licensed card vending Thomas the Tank Engine game."
Paul Williams concluded, "Our dedication to develop all round family product continues after the success of Let's go Jungle this summer. The venture for Sega Amusements Europe into the prize business is very exciting with big plans in the pipe line for the UFO catcher."
Amongst other pieces on display at the SEGA stand will be Virtua tennis 3, After Burner Super Deluxe, Virtua fighter 5, Manic Panic Ghost, Ghost squad Evolution and Extreme Hunting 2 Deluxe.
AMERICAN HARDWARE SALES FOR AUGUST, 2007
Wii: 403, 000
NDS 383,000
360: 276, 000
PS2: 202,000
PSP: 151, 000
PS3: 130, 000
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A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. ADVANCE NOTIFICATION OF "CHANGE" LITERALLY 30 PHOTOS FROM A MAN'S "SEGA HONEYMOON" A NASCAR TATTOO THAT TWO MEN THINK LOOKS LIKE DAYT... "EA ANNOUNCES COLLABORATION BETWEEN HOT NEW POP TA... "RICHARD JACQUES STUDIOS CONTINUES TO GO FROM STRE... CODEMASTERS HAS A GO AT 'URBAN' FOR 'FUEL' TRANS-EUROPEAN LARA CROFT STALKING UPDATE NINTENDO WINNING CRITICAL LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY BA... WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO IDIOT TOYS? THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.