UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
It's been revealed that 55% of the total sales of PS3 were in the first four weeks. Which again makes us highly suspicious about that 'record' opening weekend where PS3 was allegedly the fastest selling console ever. Sony are now resorting to even more drastic measures by releasing a pointless 40gb version of the console - so desperate are they to get something on the shelves at a less than extortionate price. Not that it well help with the lack of any decent games.

THINGS CURRENTLY OUTSELLING PS3:

Package holidays to Baghdad
Jade Goody's perfume
The Thick of it - Series 1 DVD
CRT Televisions
Nokia N-Gage
Yours on eBay for about 80 quid. This was sent in by a man who calls himself "Andy The Squirrel" so was no doubt discovered while in a "furry" wanking/browsing session. Which takes a little bit of the shine off the discovery, to be honest.


Sonic full body immersion wanking kit

SEGA really ought to knock out official ones. There's clearly a market for full-body SEGA immersion suits.
For entirely predictable reasons. Reasons to do with Japanese artists, who, when left to their own devices, turn feral and do drawings like this:


Ivy, from Soul Calibur, and her massive tits

Twice the size of her head? Only in the video games industry, where men work in single-sex offices away from the calming influence of women, could this get drawn and approved for global distribution.


Sophitia, from Soul Calibur, and her massive tits

You know a special alternate version of this exists on the artist's hard drive. And now, after three hours of Photoshop work, on our hard drive too.
We got an email from Richard Jacques! He very kindly added us to the BCC list of media outlets he wanted to tell about his forthcoming appearance at this year's Video Games Live show in London.

Richard will be playing jazz piano with an amazing horn. Section.


Richard Jacques - amazing horn CONFIRMED

He used the word "dear" which clearly implies affection.
Just when you think games are getting important enough for people to actually know what they're talking about, this happens.




46 seconds in. That bit where they're on the floating platform. That's Killzone 2. Now we know all modern games are about shit-boring bald space marines that all look and act the same, but it's still quite the embarrassment.
Even five years on, bitches are still tolerating impractical shoes and talcing themselves into plastic so YOU can get vaguely aroused looking at photos of them while in the office.


Ulala cosplay - 9/10

Taken from Joystiq's pleasing high resolution TGS Gallery.


5/10

Actually, this link is better, as it lets you see all the thumbnails so you can just click on the ones of women. This one's not very happy about it and knows this photo's going straight onto the internet, where it will be met with a rather frosty reception.
Oh no, it's Monday and the whole internet is discussing Halo 3 review scores. We haven't got a Halo 3 review score and, by the looks of, it you've got to have a Halo 3 review score to be considered important and get talked about on other gaming site forums. That's a dilemma seeing as we haven't got the game or even played it yet. (Too slow to get down to Argos/Tesco and not important enough to be sent a copy) But who cares, WE MUST HAVE A HALO 3 REVIEW.


Graphics: We're only judging it on screenshots and YouTube videos but it obviously looks better than anything on PS3 117%

Sound: It's got music and sound effects like explosions and laser guns. They've probably put some clever stuff in that makes sounds come out of different speakers aswell. Amazing! 6/5

Gameplay: We're guessing it's like other Halo games but better as they've had ages to work on it ******

Overall: Epic, awesome, incredible etc. 11/10
Poor old Three Speech has had the tough job of doing lots of updates about Sony's ABYSMAL Tokyo Game Show performance. They're not even attempting to put a positive spin on anything. It's brilliant.


Three Speech shame, Round 5


Here are some of the best comments from this update about the TGS DualShock 3 announcement:

"My question is: Why the hell do America and Europe have to wait until spring 2008 to get the new controller when Japan gets it in 2 months?!?! It is not as if there is any localisation to be done! It's a really moronic strategy really."

"I think that nowadays I've wasted my money with PS3, no LBP, no Home, and now, a new controller with rumble, a thing of the past said sony in E3 06."

"Can you ask Sony why America and Japan are getting vibration this November and we're not getting it til Spring? Cos a lot of us are pretty ticked off at being screwed over again!"

"I still remember an official statement by Sony, just less than one month ago, they say no rumble feature under development for PS3 controller, neither in future."


And here are some from this one about the delay of 1997 3D PC avatar system Home until next "spring":

"'You get what you pay for'!?!! A 425 bookend isn't what I had in mind."

"I really don't see how anyone could be delighted with the quality offered by PS3 so far. Underwhelming European store updates, games coming out weeks after their 360 counterparts or being shunted into 2008, new SKUs and controllers barely a year from the initial release. I really wish i could afford to say the games are just a bonus but i bought the thing as a games machine and so far it just hasn’t delivered."

"I thought Sony were telling the truth in their pre-launch hype that is why I bought a PS3 at launch. Singstar was supposed to be a launch title for goodness sakes. The pre-launch title schedule looked amazing, now we get shafted time and again on pricing,releases,information and store updates."

"Seriously–how do the execs at Sony expect to turn things around with crap 1st party software (Warhawk excluded), delays, and a crap online service(currently... and maybe still in the future, if @ Home doesn't show up in Spring...)? Seriously? Are the Sony execs even tuned in?"

"Developers are jumping ship too as they keep slandering it, the 'competition' is owning the PS3 on all fronts. The PS3 doesn't really have anything that sets it apart. Where are all the classic games we were promised for the PSN ? I'll tell you, they're on the Virtual Console and on XBLA."

PRIZE WINNER: "Simply not good enough. The Delaystation3 is beyond a joke, delays, more delays, no news or information from Sony, poor ports of games. The store is substandard at best, you are trying to con us into buying aged PS1 games for a second time. The so called console seller Hevenly Sword was in my opinion a step backward in gaming. I am not at all happy with this situation or this console. I cannot believe Sony have treated loyal customers in this way."

"Vote with your wallet people, its the only thing that hits these corporations."

Well done to all concerned! And a particularly big well done to Sony Europe, for continuing to fund the internet's largest anti-Sony blog.
Sonic's back, in his dialogue screen-iest adventure yet! Seriously, there's way too much chit-chat between levels, especially when most of the talking is being done by Marine The Very Cliched Australian character. As a rule, conversation is something to be avoided as much in video games as in real life.

Other than that, though, it's top hole. And bottom hole. Very nice.


Conversation - always bad

There really is a bit too much of this. In one screen she uses the word "bugger" which, for old people, is a very rude word as it's about gay sex. SEGA could have a PR disaster on its hands if an old person plays this.


Sonic Rush Adventure

But then there's loads of this, which is good. Although being MADE to replay levels to collect enough materials for Tails to build his gadgets (it takes the game 55 dialogue screens to say that) is a bit of an odd thing to happen in a game.


Sonic Rush Adventure

But then there's lots of this, which is also good. Compared with the best Sonic games it's a good 8/10. Compared with the rubbish 3D Sonic games it's a good 9999999999/10.
It was quite good when we did it last time. This one won't be as good as the source material isn't as conducive, plus there's a smaller text area to work with. Just do your best, okay?


DualShock 3 international day of shame

If we get three good ones we'll be happy. Email to here.


15 more years then eternal sleep

The blank. Knock yourselves out, preferably in size 16 Verdana.
It's the rumbling PS3 controller. The DualShock 3. You know, the thing Sony said would never happen. Well, it turns out games are shit without rumble to let you know when you're driving over a kerb or getting shot from behind. Hence this.

This would be at number one, were we to compile a Digg-pleasing list of the TOP 10 GREATEST BACKPEDALS IN VIDEO GAME HISTORY.

Sony's SHAMEFUL rumbling PS3 controller

Egg. On faces. Humble pie. In stomachs. Reputations. In RUINS. Lies undone and flapping in the wind. Financial forecasts. Broken. PS3. DEAD.
*BUMP*

Just in case you need to find it in a hurry later today, here's a link to the quote where Sony Europe's top man Phil Harrison said rumble was a "last generation" feature.

Here's our favourite photo of Phil, along with the no-rumble quote in full:


Rumbling PS3 controller lie watch preparation

"We have no plans to do so in the standard controller that ships with PlayStation 3. I believe that the Sixaxis controller offers game designers and developers far more opportunity for future innovation than rumble ever did. Now, rumble I think was the last generation feature; it's not the next-generation feature. I think motion sensitivity is. And we don't see the need to do that." - Phil Harrison, Sony, February 2007.


Rumbling PS3 controller lie watch preparation

Here's a photo of Kaz Hirai, as he's the one who drew the short straw of having to find a way of making the re-introduction of a "last generation feature" sound like something new and exciting.


Rumbling PS3 controller lie watch preparation

Here's one you can use to be getting on with.
The challenge is to keep looking forward while flanked by a couple of solid 8/10 booth floozies.


Master Chief strikes again

He is looking forward. Well done.


Master Chief strikes again

He is still looking forward. Well done.


Master Chief strikes again

Whoops. HALO 3 EXCLUSIVE: Master Chief prefers Japanese girls when they put their hair up. How we would love to see photos 4 to 99 of this series, where he gradually relaxes more, takes off his helmet and starts teaching the ladies how to hold a gun.
It's not looking particularly rosy. If you remember any of SEGA's arcade games from the 1980s or 1990s you might want to look away now. It isn't AM2 versus AM3 to see who can make the best racing game any more.


SEGA Race TV

This is "SEGA Race TV". They can't even be bothered to think up names. This sort of thing belongs in Empire Interactive's PS2 budget range, not in a SEGA arcade cabinet. Sometimes you just know. This time we just know.


Sonic Spinner

This is the "Sonic Spinner". It would appear to be a machine you put some money into, then watch a few lights flash, then walk away disappointed and resolving NEVER to go into a fucking amusement arcade ever again. And they're using the ancient Sonic Adventure artwork. A genuine global SEGA tragedy.


Sonic Spinner

And in one of those lovely coincidences that occasionally makes doing this fun, someone spotted a variation of the Sonic Spinner out in the wild at the weekend. He took some photos and a video of it, like a good reader.


Sonic Spinner

"I came across this, this past weekend and figured since you catalogue every other piece of Sonicdom, you'd like to add this to your collection. It's called the Sonic and Tails Spinner and I found it at the Contemporary Resort located in Walt Disney World. I didn't play it because I didn't feel like wasting my money."


Sonic Spinner

"Basically, there are two buttons on the cabinet, one Sonic and one Tails. You hit the Sonic button first, the numbers light up and eventually the light lands on one number. Then, you hit the Tails button and it does pretty much the same thing. Sonic's number is then multiplied by Tails' and that's how many tickets you get. It plays Twinkle Park (the actual park part) music. Thought you might like to see this. Thanks and peace - William Winikus."




"And here's a video. Nothing happens in it so don't excited. You can hear the music being played though and see machine in all its spinning glory (even thought it's not spinning)."

THE ENTIRE, RUBBISH, BEWILDERING PRESS RELEASE

SEGA "Race" to reveal London Preview Line up

Sega Amusements Europe Ltd. will reveal a star studded cast of new product at this year's London Preview. The world market leader will have more than nine new pieces on offer, with both World and European exclusives.

Headlining will be Sega's brand new Race TV an all American style twin driver. The all singing all dancing driver is full of thrills and spills, with 4 car multi-play, 8 unique character drivers, 5 courses, licensed cars, a special boost feature, real time live commentary and special password accessing. The twin cabinet is sure to delight with its eye catching look!

Shoot This Win This will add even more fun to the line up - this gun shooting "skill based" game will have its global unveiling at the London show and is sure to wow audiences. Shoot This Win This is a single player, skill based shooting game, giving players the chance to play 6 carnival style mini games on a 26" TFT widescreen and win prizes. Developed in conjunction with Hollywood gaming Shoot This Win This also offers an optional redemption facility making it even more appealing to players and operators alike - a sure fire hit!

Continuing the prize theme Sega's UFO Catcher is ready for take off after extensive successful onsite testing. The skill based prize concept game with its bright look and clean lines creates the perfect platform to display a wide array of merchandise including boxed product. An inbuilt 'Media Pack' including 19" monitor and speaker system gives operators the opportunity to advertise game play techniques and in machine prize items.

With a legendary reputation for producing No. 1 gun games it is only fitting that Sega should choose the London preview for the first European viewing of Primeval Hunt. This two player prehistoric hunting game has all the elements of extreme hunting - stealth, cunning, and skill - only bigger. Players test their wits by tracking and hunting dinosaurs across vast landscape. Unique features include the free roaming, touch screen; pump action gun, 2 player match play, and game progression. Primeval Hunt is on the mighty Lindbergh platform and available in both standard 29" monitor and deluxe 50" monitor versions for a monster experience.

Justin Burke, Sega's Marketing manager had this to say about this years preview, "Sega's line-up at the London preview will provide lots of variety for our clients, with strong products covering all areas of the market including, an exciting new driver in Race TV, the hard core gamers favourite Initial D4, new redemption pieces like Sonic Spinner, the fun family game Shoot This Win This and a further addition to the successful SEGA kids range - a licensed card vending Thomas the Tank Engine game."

Paul Williams concluded, "Our dedication to develop all round family product continues after the success of Let's go Jungle this summer. The venture for Sega Amusements Europe into the prize business is very exciting with big plans in the pipe line for the UFO catcher."

Amongst other pieces on display at the SEGA stand will be Virtua tennis 3, After Burner Super Deluxe, Virtua fighter 5, Manic Panic Ghost, Ghost squad Evolution and Extreme Hunting 2 Deluxe.
No wonder they didn't release it. That camera angle looks terrible.




Apparently taken from a Dreamcast devkit demo. The fact that we never got a home version of Scud Race is one of the Top 100 Gaming Wrongs.
Can we have a hi-res version of this, please, Nintendo? It's on your site here. We refuse to believe that a company of Nintendo's means uses a camera with a maximum resolution of 230 x 160.


Touch Generations trans-generational porn

Thanks. It'll make a good update. Probably even a funny one!
All hail "Where's Sonic?" the exciting new web-based Sonic game! Even though it's rubbish and all you do is click on a square then write down your email address, we'll still give it 8/10.


There he is. In that syringe-filled bedsit

You can play it here. Don't, though. It really isn't worth it.
This marks a first. We are excited about a wastepaper basket. We are either really old and standing in Habitat looking at wastepaper baskets and wondering what happened to the last 40 years, or... IT'S AN AWESOME SEGA WASTEPAPER BASKET!

Please, scroll down slowly. Don't spoil it for yourself. The photographs get better as you go down and are best enjoyed slowly.


AWESOME SONIC BIN!

You think this is good? This is NOTHING. Just wait until you see the other side. This is the side that goes against the wall. This, incredibly, is the shit side...


AWESOME SONIC BIN! EVEN AWESOMER!

This is the awesome side!




And it gets better! This bin somehow defies physics and has three increasingly awesome sides. That is, literally, the greatest piece of Sonic The Hedgehog artwork EVER. And it's been wasted on a fucking bin. It should've been painted on Australia so it can be seen from space.


And a joke to go at the end

And there's even a joke to go at the end. Text book reader submission from Andrew Elliott, owner of the world's greatest wastepaper basket.
American sales figures for August. They make particularly joyous reading, thanks to PS3's "price cut" making zero difference. It would also appear everyone finally owns a PS2, with that scourge on the last seven years of gaming fading fast.
AMERICAN HARDWARE SALES FOR AUGUST, 2007

Wii: 403, 000
NDS 383,000
360: 276, 000
PS2: 202,000
PSP: 151, 000
PS3: 130, 000

Sony's rubbish American PR blog is yet to make any comment. We'll be pressing F5 all day in amused anticipation.
She also looks a bit more attainable now she's about 37, serving burgers in a diner, and starting to look slightly rough. Facial blemishes plus flabby arms equals greater chance. Definite forward - back - forward + would.


VF5 on Xbox 360

Why, certainly. A kickflip to the nuts would be a pleasure.
Thanks, Atari. Not for any of your games, but for this. Today's ironic desktop picture of the day, from Wii game My Horse and Me.


My Horse and Me

It should be My Horse and I. This appalling standard of grammar is why Atari's in so much shit these days.


My Unspoken Teen Fantasies and Me

There's nothing we like more than a nice bit of nuzzling.
They're a bit boring, but there's one very good one of a neon sign that's definitely worth the effort of you moving your mouse over to the scroll bar and going down a bit.


SEGA PAINT!

FROM THE MAN: "This picture shows a rather impressive full wall graffiti type thing of Sonic. Unfortunately somewhat obscured by my rubbish photography and people having the nerve to stick posters on top of the holy visage."


SEGA sign thing!

"Yokoso SEGA e - Welcome to SEGA. WITH SMILE!"




"I guess the neon tube company didn't do exclamation marks. This greeted you at the top of the escalator. Wagoo."
That's Rez HD, Ninja Gaiden 2 and Ikaruga. All coming to Xbox 360 in some form or other, although the shine is taken off International Happy Day a little by having to wait until 2008 for Ninja Gaiden 2. It is still a very happy day.


Rez HD for Xbox Live Arcade!

Rez HD. Lock-on gameplay returns!




Ninja Gaiden 2 teaser trailer. Actually spine-tingling. Can't find any new images of Xbox Live Arcade Ikaruga, but every frame of it should be burnt into your memory already. Use one of those.
There are some amazing gems in here, some awesome photographs, a few glaring factual inaccuracies and some staggeringly wrong features. It is SEGA in book form. Enjoy.


SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

Original publisher Grandreams Limited did a fine job. Especially as Wikipedia didn't exist back then so they clearly had to resort to just making a lot of the stuff up.


SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

This is a shame.


SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK


SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

This is... we're not sure. We're torn between awesome and suicidally embarrassing for all concerned.


SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK


SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 1991/1992 YEARBOOK

That's not quite the modern definition of a "happy ending" which, in fact, involves a miserable East European sex worker. But it's close enough.
It would appear 'baile funk' is a type of music the youth are into, according to an email we got. If you don't get all your new music needs from video game soundtracks, you might know what that means.

We just hope the maker of this shirt has an official license to reproduce his likeness.


MIA, who might be famous, in a Sonic shirt

FUNKMASTER: "Browsing around searching for some sexy time pics from M.I.A. I've found this. Sonic is getting Dancehall/Grime/Baile Funk just by joining forces with her. I just don't know what to think about this."
Here's another scintillating classic. The best thing about our secretly-obtained ultimate collection of classic Sonic artwork is that it also contains hi-res illustrations of the game's badniks. Here's a particularly terrifying flashback to the days of Sonic 1...

SONIC DESKTOP #4: MUST... KILL... SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!


Amazing Sonic desktop #4

Again, this image is supplied "as is". If you don't happen to have a monitor that does a native resolution of 1196 x 1362, you'll have to open it up in Paint and add black bars to the side, or, even worse, zoom in on its eyes and "scale to fit."


Amazing Sonic desktop #3 REMIXED

Amazing Sonic desktop #3 REMIXED

The above two remixes/image clashes were submitted by Australian reader Chris, who thought the last one needed livening up a bit. They are "inspired by the cover art for the album 'Samba de Janerio' by Bellini," apparently, which makes him sound like a bit of a tosspiece but they're nice enough images regardless.


PREVIOUSLY, ON GREATEST SONIC DESKTOPS:
  • "SAFE LANDING FROM ROBO CHAOS ZONE!"
  • "UNDERWATER CRISIS!"
  • "I'M COMING TO GET YA!"
  • Can you guess? It's all very, very lifestyle. We've hidden the real product behind a bag of frozen peas.


    Not frozen peas

    It's not for frozen peas. This isn't an elaborate double bluff.


    Not ladies shoes

    It's not for ladies shoes.




    It's not for make-up or high-grade narcotics.




    It's not for jewellery.


    Not Lily Allen clothes

    It's not for Lily Allen's new range of dresses.


    Not for the Bloqwelda kitchen chair

    It's not for Ikea.


    For PSP!

    It is, incredibly, for Sony's PSP!


    Yes, for PSP :(

    Look at it there. That's a PSP you can just about see a bit of. Click on it for the amazing full-resolution shame of it all.


    Ironic? Or just German?

    The others involve men :(((

    And there's three other sets we're saving for later.
    Because it's quite important we get a SEGA TOYS Dream Cat Smile, which has just launched this week. By "quite important" we mean it's all we're going to think about until we get one, play with it for two minutes, feel very disappointed, then put it away in a cupboard until we next move house and throw it away.

    Here are some videos of it we have just shamelessly stolen off some other blog.




    Come on, you lot are always flying out there on a whim to meet someone who may or may not be a girl you've been chatting to on MSN for all of five minutes. Put it in that empty suitcase you're taking with you in the hope of finding ten boxed copies of Samba De Amigo and 20 Radiant Silverguns to bring back and sell.




    The blog we nicked all these videos off said it costs about 70 dollars, so we'll give you 50 quid to bring one back. And one of the several thousand UKR t-shirts we've got left. OK, 55 quid and no t-shirt.




    This will go nicely next to the Homestar in the UKR SEGA Dream (wanking) Room (IMPORTANT: Please knock before entering).
    The perfect image. When t-shirt printing technology improves and it's possible to do full-colour prints for 50p a unit, we'll be knocking them out with this on for a tenner a time.


    Sonic cosplayer - genital configuration UNKNOWN

    Don't care if it's male or female. We just want to shake it by the hand and say thanks for a full 32 hours of sniggering.
    This is the current depressing state of the UKR email inbox. One photo of an unofficial Sonic painting endorsing a Brazilian game store, a man with a tattoo that looks a bit like a Dreamcast logo, plus a weird transexual Sonic cosplay photo that probably deserves an update all of its own - and a criminal investigation into its origins.


    Jogos: Games, in whatever language the Brazil people do

    WHO WOULD THINK ABOUT THIS? "A store of video games in the city of Recife, Brazil. Sonic announcing games of PlayStation, who would think about this!"


    Spiral of life

    COSTA DEL TWAT: "I was on holiday in Spain and saw this dude walking around with a Dreamcast logo on his back. Although I generally avoid taking photographs of topless blokes, I found this funny. I'm guessing he didn't realise it was a Dreamcast logo and he thought it was just some artsy shit. But anyway, thought you might like to take the piss out of it. Cheers, Chris."


    Sonic cosplayer - genital configuration UNKNOWN

    This one arrived with no explanation. Which is annoying, as it's the one that most needs explaining, particularly about if it's a boy or a girl under that embarrassing mess. It's unlikely to matter in the long term, though, as the chances of anyone being interested in the genital configuration of a Sonic cosplayer are extremely remote. We're going for girl, as they would appear to be the flabby, untoned upper arms of a female gamer.


    Sonic cosplayer - genital configuration UNKNOWN

    Here it is again, just in case you missed it or your eyes/brain blocked it out.
    PGR4 Looks fucking amazing. Even on this shaky handheld video shot at that GC thing it still looks fucking amazing. There will probably be a proper direct feed video available soon which will no doubt look even more fucking amazing and make it difficult for us to contain ourselves. This is all confirmed "in game" stuff aswell. It definitely looks better than Gran Turismo 5 which looks cold and clinical and has rubbish trees and doesn't have fucking amazing rain and snow effects either and hasn't made everyone say "Whoah, awesome" like most of the people who've seen this new PGR4 video.