Denying the SEGA holocaust since 1996

[UK:RESISTANCE]

[IDIOT TOYS]

HIGHLIGHTS
Oh, how we laughed! Maybe once or twice.

PSP Lie Watch - GT4 Mobile

Sega Park carpet!!

SEGA World Sydney 2

SEGA World, Sydney

SEGA's 1950s sexism

Being horrible about girls

Being nice about girls

*AMAZING* reader Cream porn

SEGA fruit machines

PS3 Lie Watch - Tekken 6

E3 2006 photos

PS3 Lie Watch - The PS3

How is Andy Crane?

Dreamcast bicycle!

The 'SEGA Rap'

OutRun2006 - a celebratory review

PS3 Lie Watch: Motorstorm

OutRun2 Coast2Coast screenshot guide

SEGA's sexy 1990s adverts

SEGA Homestar -- reviewed!

Sega Rally 2006 SHOULD NOT EXIST

Mobile Monkey Ball

Trying to buy an Xbox 360

Microsoft's 'urban youth' Xbox 360 movie

Xbox 360 launch party pics

Origen Zero Hour gonzo report

DoA movie trailer

An actual proper review of Ninja Gaiden Black

Afterburner Climax

Non-sexy PSP porn UMD reviewed

Blog does story about blog doing story (and repeat)

San Andreas class action... thing

More HOT LARA CROFT PORN!

Eminem is in the 50 Cent game :(

HUGE Nintendo DS design flaw discovered

Rolf Harris meets Sonic The Hedgehog

X360 mag reviewed

Nintendogs 'fake dog' photo shame

Joanna Dark's FHM airbrush shame

PSP 2.0 downgrade (a joke)

Miyamoto and puppies

Tokyo Game Show 2005

UK Frag Dolls REVIEWED by sexiness!

THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME

German PSP promo photos

Monkey Ball Sex SHAME

Sonic Team's new project!

New Xbox 360 magazine is 'rubbish'

Tomb Raider Legend PORN SICKNESS

Lan Party photos!!!

Everquest II models' 'pornstar' shame

UKR gaming clan launched!

Project Rub 2 pictures!

LCD and plasma HDTV guide for PS3 and Xbox 360

PSP Lumines 'fan fiction'

PSP Lumines 'sort of review'

GamesMaster visit!

Sega's Homestar

PS3 launch games confirmed!

Xbox 360 launch games revealed!

Trip Hawkins and his Atkins Diet thing

PHOTOS OF RICHARD JACQUES!!!

Great Jobs For Paedophiles

Ulala cosplay

Nokia N-Gage tester "hell"

World of Warcraft "girls"?

San Andreas "Hot Coffee" sex game mod

Stupid woman jealous of Lara Croft

Battle Raper 2 pics

E3 wheelchair groper

Gizmondo E3 booth babes

Sonic CD Superlovers

Fat kid "1337 h4x0r"

PS3 + Killzone 2 LIE WATCH!

Frag Dolls -- Reviewed!

Spurned employee RAMPAGE!

Visiting the Gizmondo shop

Seeing Playboy's Natalie Denning

EA Cricket 2005 'hilarity'

Xbox 360 photos?

"New Games Journalism" anti-manifesto

UKR -- The Mansion

A great Paris Hilton joke

GTA San Andreas Tetris

FIFA Street MP3

PSP battery jokes

Need for Speed Underground 2 HUMILIATION

Richard Jacques update

Kasumi's feet!

Kasumi's panties!

OutRun2, Doom 3 and Fable guide

50 reasons to buy OutRun2

OutRun2 'flag man'

What women drivers really say

Tron loser

PS2 EyeToy OutRun2

DoA Beach Volleyball wallpapers

A day trip to Sega!

COMPUTER! MAGNIFY SECTOR A1...

Good god, it's only the bloody Flag Man doing the umpiring in the OutRun level. Words. Not. Enough. Joy. Throbbing. Through. Veins.

The only thing better than this would be if they put Tim Henman in it to ironically represent Virtua Tennis.


Flag Man is played by Ron Jeremy

Need to go and have a lie down.




Best SEGA intro movie since Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg, too. Not that that's a particularly good omen.

14 Comments:

Blogger Fin said...

Not surprised they didn't show Robotnik's face at the end, it's obviously been turned into a red mush by Sonic's tennis ball.

10:47 PM  
Blogger Guru Larry said...

STILL NO ALEX KIDD THOUGH!!!!

Why hast thou forsaken your original Mascot Sega????

No Opa-Opa or Wonder Boy either as a matter of fact. Sega didn't begin in 1991, remember your heratige!

Guru Larry (off XLEAGUE.TV)

11:24 PM  
Blogger Clad said...

This post has been removed by the author.

2:35 AM  
Blogger Clad said...

I see a fatal flaw to this game, because of the hungry & thirsty donkey paradox, no one will be able to ever start a game. (Who can choose between selecting Sonic and NiGHT ? I have no problem saying which of my kids I love the most,but Sonic and NiGHT ? Come on !)

Better buy smash bros which have some small side-kick such as mario, link or donkey kong, so that it's made obvious who's the coolest.

magnetique.net

2:37 AM  
Blogger mikolai said...

Why is their a 'Bible Lessons' Google ad at the bottom of the page?

Anyway, that looks lovely. Want, get.

3:17 AM  
Blogger Mainman said...

@ Guru Larry:

http://www.nintendowiifanboy.com/2008/01/18/rumor-an-exiled-mascot-returns-to-sega-superstars-tennis/

1:33 PM  
Blogger Markusdragon said...

it feel so... Well, Sega.

In fact, the essense of the dreamcast liberally drips off of this intro. I'm drooling in anticipation!

5:24 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

It makes you wonder why they can't actually make Sonic games that look like his bit in the intro.

6:01 PM  
Blogger darren said...

I welled up a bit when sonic came on, is it wrong that it was from my japseye?

7:11 PM  
Blogger drknoisewater said...

Have Sega done anything with their "Sega Superstars" before? Because if they haven't its hard to see why. Considering Mario and Co. get whored out to any old shite thats average at best but then becomes "Nintendo Gold".
I may be wrong but if Sega had been doing this years ago like Nintendo when they were mainstream popular we could all be playing Sega Go-karting 4 on our Dreamcast 3's. Naked.

1:25 PM  
Blogger drknoisewater said...

p.s.
Wii Console - £180

Sega Superstar Tennis - £40

Seeing Tim Henman get punched by Alex Kidds huge fist before Amigo starts throwing his own feccess at the UK's Tennis "hero" lying broken on the floor - priceless

1:30 PM  
Blogger Keet said...

There is a noticeable lack of Vyse and Aika sadly. With the gaming world finally starting to come off of its J-RPG phase, you'd think that a strategic sequel would be in order.

Otherwise.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

It's about time we had a solid Sega title.

10:10 PM  
Blogger ecaps said...

For all those who don't know what flagman can do :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yITLCYlqS9U

6:23 AM  
Blogger Benjamin said...

I know some are complaining about the absence of Golden Axe, Streets of Rage, Virtua Fighter, and some others, but, seriously, those games are too "seriously" themed and would look out of place in this mascot tennis game. Still would be great to have more characters for more variety, and having Psycho Fox and Segata Sanshiro as hidden characters would be fun, but I'm not disappointed in the cast. This game just bought me the excuse I needed to get an Xbox 360.

8:03 PM  

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