We were going to let Dannii Minogue be our next girlfriend -- not any more! Show some dignity, you stupid lo-carb bitch!
No! You DON'T look cool! Even doing your "cool face" can't save you here, Pharrell. It's a party for GIZMONDO. You'd look cooler if you were pictured buying heroin from a tramp while wearing clothes made out of a carrier bag, you idiot. Next time, say you'll only go to parties if they're for a Sony something.
Yes, it can get any worse. This isn't that Aphex Twin video, it's the weasely coke-fiend out of Jamiroquai.
"You always need a soap star at a great party" says a caption on the Gizmondo web site, beneath this photo of two POP STARS from the band Girls Aloud. Does the Gizmondo ineptitude know NO BOUNDS? Look, we do a better and more informed web site than that FOR FREE. If you ever see us in real life, ask us the names of the girls in Girls Aloud - we know them all. And their surnames. Keeping your cultural references up to date is easy and FREE!
Bottom of barrel: CONFIRMED. Laugh more: Here.
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW?
Each post .02% worse than the last.
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand.
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass.
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near.
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend.
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny.
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary.
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.