UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
Stupid celebs who don't know what a Gizmondo is were told it'd be a good idea to go to its launch party. It wasn't! They looked like desperate ligging fools, gathered together for free sausages on sticks at the stupidest hardware launch since whenever N-Gage came out.

Anyway, they threw a lot of cash at the launch party.

(Gizmondo employees -- if you look closely you can see your money going away from you in several of these shots. This is your "sponsoring Arsenal" moment).

We were going to let Dannii Minogue be our next girlfriend -- not any more! Show some dignity, you stupid lo-carb bitch!

No! You DON'T look cool! Even doing your "cool face" can't save you here, Pharrell. It's a party for GIZMONDO. You'd look cooler if you were pictured buying heroin from a tramp while wearing clothes made out of a carrier bag, you idiot. Next time, say you'll only go to parties if they're for a Sony something.

Yes, it can get any worse. This isn't that Aphex Twin video, it's the weasely coke-fiend out of Jamiroquai.

"You always need a soap star at a great party" says a caption on the Gizmondo web site, beneath this photo of two POP STARS from the band Girls Aloud. Does the Gizmondo ineptitude know NO BOUNDS? Look, we do a better and more informed web site than that FOR FREE. If you ever see us in real life, ask us the names of the girls in Girls Aloud - we know them all. And their surnames. Keeping your cultural references up to date is easy and FREE!

Bottom of barrel: CONFIRMED. Laugh more: Here.

Next time you organise a party that Cheryl Tweedy out of Girls Aloud is going to be at, invite us. That way, we'll spend all night drinking and taking photos of Cheryl from ever-closer distances as our courage rises. Cheryl will then leave at 8:30pm, as all girls do at games industry parties. But then, the next day we'll do a massive update saying how GREAT AND COOL the event/product was/is, and none of the above nastiness need happen. This is the email address to send your party invites to. We will go and do the thing we just said just then.

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