In January of 2008 Sony sold 269,000 PS3s in America. In January of 2009 it sold 203,000. That's less. 203,000 is DEFINITELY less than 269,000. We are POSITIVE. Hang on, we'll just check that. Where's the link to the adding thing?
Yes. There you go. It's less. PS3 sold 66,000 less/fewer units this January than last January. So, the ten year plan for PS3 was to have sales peak in year two, then have the business gradually run down to zero over the remaining eight?
Sounds like a good plan to us. Figures, as ever, from GAF.
Yes. There you go. It's less. PS3 sold 66,000 less/fewer units this January than last January. So, the ten year plan for PS3 was to have sales peak in year two, then have the business gradually run down to zero over the remaining eight?
Sounds like a good plan to us. Figures, as ever, from GAF.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Terms like "alarming collapse" and "battered" used by financially-minded grown-ups to describe Sony's terrible current state. The gaming division has contributed to this with "lower-than-expected" sales.
SEGA is rumoured to be using its Football Manager profits to buy up remnants of gaming division at "fire sale" price.
Gaming division. Axe the gaming division. Please axe the gaming division. Fingers crossed for massive job losses, at least.
SEGA is rumoured to be using its Football Manager profits to buy up remnants of gaming division at "fire sale" price.
Gaming division. Axe the gaming division. Please axe the gaming division. Fingers crossed for massive job losses, at least.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
...compared to the Gamecube and another console you haven't been able to buy new for two years.
Well done, Sony. Another gold in the paralympics.
Well done, Sony. Another gold in the paralympics.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Some statistical news people have decided it costs Sony $448 to make each PlayStation3, so if you're thinking about getting one to laugh at or smash in a brutal revenge smashing, do so now while it still HURTS THE ENEMY BOTTOM LINE.
And hurts the enemy bottom itself.
And hurts the enemy bottom itself.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
So, they've decided to release HOME as a public Beta. That's HOME, the amazing virtual world that had game journalists and PS3 fanboys proclaiming the greatness of Sony and how it would be the best thing EVER! Except, it's not. Two years on, it turns out to be a half empty, badly thought out mess (queuing to play a game of Pool?!) and clearly nothing more than a cynical attempt to actually make some money out of the cash-haemorraghing disaster that has been PS3. And with nothing on the horizon, save GT5, surely the 'nail in the coffin'. Even ThreeSpeech can't be arsed to Big It Up like they did with Little Big Planet (already being sold for £19.99) Let's have another little round-up of public opinion shall we;
- "Are there really people dumb enough to spend £3.99 on a virtual house?"
- "What they've released is just a huge anti-climax"
- "You cannot create anything in PlayStation Home. You can only buy it."
- "Pointless, monotonous and poorly executed"
- "It's like the success of the PS2 has gone to their head and they think people will buy anything"
- "It seems to be a really inconvenient way to launch games and videos while pretending to live in a nightmare vision of the future"
- "..and the load times for each area, oh dear, that was something I didn't expect. "
- "I really can't fathom what they've been spending all that development time doing"
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Enemy manufacturing base shrinking! Supply lines crippled! Successful European campaign impacting on Asian stronghold! Unconditional surrender and signing over of all copyrights pertaining to "PlayStation3" estimated to be less than 14 months away.
Sony is also axing 8000 jobs as well as closing 10% of its weapon factories. What a shame. What a big shame. What a BIG OLD FUCKING SHAMEY SHAME indeed. We don't like to laugh about people losing their jobs, but it's OK when it's SONY PEOPLE as they're not even real people at all. They don't have feelings.
Sony is also axing 8000 jobs as well as closing 10% of its weapon factories. What a shame. What a big shame. What a BIG OLD FUCKING SHAMEY SHAME indeed. We don't like to laugh about people losing their jobs, but it's OK when it's SONY PEOPLE as they're not even real people at all. They don't have feelings.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Our European cousins, for so long under the evil Sony cosh, have united as one and OUSTED THE TYRANNY OF EVIL from their glorious lands! No longer are they blindly paying the equivalent RRP of £299 for a shite console based around making films look marginally better than before if you sit near the screen.
Or, to put it sensibly so today's news-aggregating-media outlets can understand after a two-second scan of the facts, Microsoft has just said Xbox 360 is outselling PS3 in France, Spain and Italy. Here's a link to Eurogamer saying it, as you're more likely to believe stuff on Eurogamer than on here, AREN'T YOU?
Expect future Sony press releases to concentrate on the performance of the "PlayStation Family" in Denmark during 2008, relative to the performance of the "PlayStation Family" in Denmark during the 1970s.
Or, to put it sensibly so today's news-aggregating-media outlets can understand after a two-second scan of the facts, Microsoft has just said Xbox 360 is outselling PS3 in France, Spain and Italy. Here's a link to Eurogamer saying it, as you're more likely to believe stuff on Eurogamer than on here, AREN'T YOU?
Expect future Sony press releases to concentrate on the performance of the "PlayStation Family" in Denmark during 2008, relative to the performance of the "PlayStation Family" in Denmark during the 1970s.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
EVIL Sony boasted to the world about there being 14 million PlayStation Network users in the world in this deliberately-misleading update on its blog regarding PS3's "success" last week.
You might quite reasonably expect that to mean there are 14 million PS3s being used online, but no. That figure also included PSP PSN accounts, as Sony later confessed to Gamespot.
We never thought we'd see the day Gamespot symbolises truth and justice.
You might quite reasonably expect that to mean there are 14 million PS3s being used online, but no. That figure also included PSP PSN accounts, as Sony later confessed to Gamespot.
We never thought we'd see the day Gamespot symbolises truth and justice.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
We're sure that 19th on the UK chart at the end of Week Two is exactly what Sony had in mind for LittleBigPlanet. It's all falling into place.
No, apart. It's all falling apart. Let's try one of those hilarious zooming-in jokes...
STAGE 1: A bit closer.
STAGE 2: Closer still.
STAGE 3: VERY CLOSE and therefore hilarious.
No, apart. It's all falling apart. Let's try one of those hilarious zooming-in jokes...
STAGE 1: A bit closer.
STAGE 2: Closer still.
STAGE 3: VERY CLOSE and therefore hilarious.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Our brave friends across the Atlantic are continuing to STICK IT TO and RIGHT INTO Sony, with PS3 sales DOWN 18% during October. Despite the launch of some shit user-generating, administrator-deleting content game about being a teddy bear and having your hard work removed that was all the rage for about 36 hours. Here's a list.
US HARDWARE SALES FOR OCTOBER, 2008
ANALYSIS:
Selling fewer consoles when you've got your most important game of the year out AND it's nearly Christmas is a 10/10 on the SEGA Saturn UK Launch Disaster Scale.
SOFTWARE SALES EQUALLY SHAMBOLIC
The 'We Died And This Is What Heaven Is Like' theory gains strength.
US HARDWARE SALES FOR OCTOBER, 2008
Wii: 803,000
DS: 491,000
360: 371,000
PSP: 193,000
PS3: 190,000
PS2: 136,000
ANALYSIS:
Selling fewer consoles when you've got your most important game of the year out AND it's nearly Christmas is a 10/10 on the SEGA Saturn UK Launch Disaster Scale.
SOFTWARE SALES EQUALLY SHAMBOLIC
1. 790k - Fable 2 (360)
2. 487k - Wii Fit (Wii)
3. 375k - Fallout 3 (360)
4. 290k - Mario Kart (Wii)
5. 282k - Wii Play (Wii)
6. 270k - Saints Row 2 (360)
7. 231k - SOCOM (PS3)
8. 215k - LittleBigPlanet (PS3)
9. 202k - NBA 2K9 (360)
10. 193k - Dead Space (360)
The 'We Died And This Is What Heaven Is Like' theory gains strength.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
We can't let it pass without comment that Sony is deleting piles of user-generated content from its tatty little teddy bear game that is ENTIRELY BASED AROUND and TO DO WITH user-generated content.
Just to recap, because it is a bit hard to understand. The game IS BUILT AROUND user-generated content. And Sony is DELETING user-generated content, despite previously being as happy as pigs in shit to tell everyone how cool "UGC" is and how LittleBigPlanet is ALL ABOUT IT and therefore also cool.
We just had to let you know that we have noticed this and are nursing the obligatory SONY DOOM semi.
Sony's clearly making all these balls-ups on purpose so we can have a laugh. In fact, we may have all died in a nuclear war at the end of 2006 and this is heaven we're in right now.
This image is taken from Sony's E3 08 presentation, in which it cleverly recreated PlayStation imagery in LBP. This would be deleted if a user made it. Awesome corporate hypocrisy!
Just to recap, because it is a bit hard to understand. The game IS BUILT AROUND user-generated content. And Sony is DELETING user-generated content, despite previously being as happy as pigs in shit to tell everyone how cool "UGC" is and how LittleBigPlanet is ALL ABOUT IT and therefore also cool.
We just had to let you know that we have noticed this and are nursing the obligatory SONY DOOM semi.
Sony's clearly making all these balls-ups on purpose so we can have a laugh. In fact, we may have all died in a nuclear war at the end of 2006 and this is heaven we're in right now.
This image is taken from Sony's E3 08 presentation, in which it cleverly recreated PlayStation imagery in LBP. This would be deleted if a user made it. Awesome corporate hypocrisy!
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Just when you think video games are becoming an acceptable, adult, mainstream entertainment form free from the sexist, teenage boy cliches of years past...
...Sony goes and SPUNKS TEN YEARS OF WORK AWAY over the stomach of some low-grade model dressed like she's in a 1986 Zzap! magazine ad for Strip Poker.
Amazing. Presumably Keeley is here to ensure Motorstorm gets a 20-word review in Nuts or Zoo and maybe catches the eye of Jonathan Weinberg.
VIDEO GAMES: Once again considered the preserve of virgins who are as familiar with the feel of ladies as they are with the atmospheric conditions of Neptune. Well done, Sony.
...Sony goes and SPUNKS TEN YEARS OF WORK AWAY over the stomach of some low-grade model dressed like she's in a 1986 Zzap! magazine ad for Strip Poker.
Amazing. Presumably Keeley is here to ensure Motorstorm gets a 20-word review in Nuts or Zoo and maybe catches the eye of Jonathan Weinberg.
VIDEO GAMES: Once again considered the preserve of virgins who are as familiar with the feel of ladies as they are with the atmospheric conditions of Neptune. Well done, Sony.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Courtesy of a graph in Japanese, courtesy of Nintendo, courtesy of an amazingly impenetrable thread about Nintendo's performance over at NeoGAF.
It is nice to have clarity.
It is nice to have clarity.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
PS3 managed to sell even fewer units in Japan last week than the week before. AGAIN. The god of statistics has smiled on us once more.
ANALYSIS
To put this into context, 3,931 PlayStation3s is enough PlayStation3s to fit inside the boot of a Peugeot 306 estate, or enough PlayStation3s to completely fill an average household chest freezer. Today's global news agenda set, as always, by NeoGAF.
JAPANESE HARDWARE SALES, WEEK ENDING OCTOBER 26
PSP: 60,467
Wii: 24,292
DS: 22,965
360: 7,844
PS2: 6,962
PS3: 3,931
ANALYSIS
To put this into context, 3,931 PlayStation3s is enough PlayStation3s to fit inside the boot of a Peugeot 306 estate, or enough PlayStation3s to completely fill an average household chest freezer. Today's global news agenda set, as always, by NeoGAF.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
PS3 managed to sell even fewer units in Japan last week than the week before. We cannot believe how OVER it is. It has happened and we've been cheering it all the way down!
ANALYSIS
4,725 PlayStation3s is enough PlayStation3s to stretch from one end of a room to the other end of a room. If piled on top of each other, the pile would nearly be as tall as a house. Today's news agenda set, as always, by NeoGAF.
JAPANESE HARDWARE SALES, WEEK ENDING OCTOBER 19
PSP: 159,816
DS: 29,839
Wii: 26,024
360: 7,856
PS2: 7,261
PS3: 4,725
ANALYSIS
4,725 PlayStation3s is enough PlayStation3s to stretch from one end of a room to the other end of a room. If piled on top of each other, the pile would nearly be as tall as a house. Today's news agenda set, as always, by NeoGAF.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Great news from the financial markets! Sony, the manufacturer of over-priced and always-breaking electronics, has issued a profit warning, saying that demand for its over-priced and always-breaking electronics has fallen.
People are finally SEEING.
Today shall forever be known to the financial world as "Pink Thursday."
Here's how a city broker reacted to the news.
People are finally SEEING.
Today shall forever be known to the financial world as "Pink Thursday."
Here's how a city broker reacted to the news.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
We suggest a simultaneous ejaculation at 3.15pm, which leaves enough time for lunch to settle down so no one feels nauseous after. Everyone in?
ANALYSIS
At this rate, Sony's only revenue stream from gaming in 2011 will be the several thousand pounds it generates annually through selling replacement PS2 DVD drive lenses. Today's news agenda set, as always, by NeoGAF.
JAPANESE HARDWARE SALES, WEEK ENDING OCTOBER 12
DS: 31,914
PSP: 23,901
Wii: 22,877
360: 7,763
PS2: 6,982
PS3: 5,734
ANALYSIS
At this rate, Sony's only revenue stream from gaming in 2011 will be the several thousand pounds it generates annually through selling replacement PS2 DVD drive lenses. Today's news agenda set, as always, by NeoGAF.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Cocks out, everyone! PS3's the anus of another chart. Sony's ten year plan to become the new AMSTRAD is going swimmingly.
JAPANESE HARDWARE SALES, WEEK ENDING OCTOBER 5
PS3 is getting hammered, into the ground, balls first. As ever, we must state that we do not care who wins. It is all about Sony losing, as justice for all its past LIES and SINS.
JAPANESE HARDWARE SALES, WEEK ENDING OCTOBER 5
DS: 42,385
PSP: 26,045
Wii: 25,330
PS2: 8,618
360: 8,271
PS3: 7,232
PS3 is getting hammered, into the ground, balls first. As ever, we must state that we do not care who wins. It is all about Sony losing, as justice for all its past LIES and SINS.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
This never gets boring. Last week's Japanese hardware sales chart. PS3 is being outsold by PS2 now. It's always tragic when a parent outlives a child.
Three cheers for the internet and the democratic exchange of factual information it empowers. And NeoGAF, obviously.
Thanks to PS3's horrific performance it's now possible to masturbate ourselves to completion over statistical data.
TRY TO MAKE THIS SOUND POSITIVE, FUCKWITS:
DS: 57,847
Wii: 26,314
PSP: 25,671
360: 11,291
PS2: 9,848
PS3: 8,275
Three cheers for the internet and the democratic exchange of factual information it empowers. And NeoGAF, obviously.
Thanks to PS3's horrific performance it's now possible to masturbate ourselves to completion over statistical data.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Included in today's SENSATIONAL Lie Watch:
The full lie-laden article with cunty-chops is here. It is being saved for aggressive future use, as is Jack Tretton's sphincter, when he gets made redundant as Sony's gaming division closes in 2010.
Jack Tretton says PS3 sales are "100% up" year on year! (even though last year it sold 9.5m PS3s and this year it plans to sell 10m. 10m is not 100% more than 9.5m, you imbecile) Jack Tretton says Sony will struggle to meet demand for PS3! (great excuse for not selling many of a thing). Jack Tretton says lots of other things that aren't particularly true when taken in context of what Sony has said before and figures that are publicly available.
The full lie-laden article with cunty-chops is here. It is being saved for aggressive future use, as is Jack Tretton's sphincter, when he gets made redundant as Sony's gaming division closes in 2010.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Back in January of this year, Sony earned "column inches" by boasting that that PlayStation3 had overtaken Xbox 360 in parts of Europe and was selling at "three times" the rate of Microsoft's console. We have reproduced the quote for you here:
However, retailer GAME has just revealed official UK sales data which shows Sony has sold 1.4 million PS3s in the UK, compared to Microsoft's 2.3 million Xbox 360s. That is a VERY LARGE GAP and not what even the wildest of statisticians would consider a close battle.
It is certainly not three times as many. It is more like loads less.
Do not trust this man, anyone on his pay roll or people that transcribe his interviews.
THOSE UK HARDWARE TOTALS AGAIN, AS OF SEPTEMBER 2008:
"...the team here expect to overtake the installed base of Xbox 360 across all PAL territories in late summer," David Reeves, Sony Europe, January 24 2008.
However, retailer GAME has just revealed official UK sales data which shows Sony has sold 1.4 million PS3s in the UK, compared to Microsoft's 2.3 million Xbox 360s. That is a VERY LARGE GAP and not what even the wildest of statisticians would consider a close battle.
It is certainly not three times as many. It is more like loads less.
Do not trust this man, anyone on his pay roll or people that transcribe his interviews.
THOSE UK HARDWARE TOTALS AGAIN, AS OF SEPTEMBER 2008:
DS: 7.1m
Wii: 3.6m
PSP: 2.9m
360: 2.3m
PS3: 1.4m
Labels: LIES, WAR ON PS3
Forget the "ten year plan" for PS3, here's Sony's 30 year plan to burn off any cash its few successes may have earned it, thereby keeping it in the GUTTER where IT BELONGS.
Sent in by James, who is the winner. Well done. We must constantly remind the enemy of all its failings and weaknesses, so it doubts itself and becomes weaker still.
Sent in by James, who is the winner. Well done. We must constantly remind the enemy of all its failings and weaknesses, so it doubts itself and becomes weaker still.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
So bad it has to give its next "best game" away for free, as a bribe, to shift some more of those useless Blu-ray machines before the receivers are called in.
So that's losing money on the hardware AND giving away the only game people might want this Christmas for free? This is Business 3.0!
Here's a nice photo we found of Howard Stringer putting on a very brave face, while in front of some people who presumably know the truth about how badly it's all going.
And here's an example of the sort of shameful and disrespectful Photoshopping we hope not to see. We also hope not to see such bad use of the skew tool.
And here's a blank. Let's hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands. We'd hate to see a man of Howard's pedigree humiliated by some pathetic internet jokers.
So that's losing money on the hardware AND giving away the only game people might want this Christmas for free? This is Business 3.0!
Here's a nice photo we found of Howard Stringer putting on a very brave face, while in front of some people who presumably know the truth about how badly it's all going.
And here's an example of the sort of shameful and disrespectful Photoshopping we hope not to see. We also hope not to see such bad use of the skew tool.
And here's a blank. Let's hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands. We'd hate to see a man of Howard's pedigree humiliated by some pathetic internet jokers.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Q. Why isn't Sony selling very many PlayStation3s?
A. Because it can't keep up with consumer demand!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Nice one, Howard. You are a card.
A. Because it can't keep up with consumer demand!
"Consumers are purchasing our PlayStation 3 video games console faster than we can produce them... We currently have a production bottleneck with the Playstation 3" - Sir Howard Stringer, Sony, August 29 2008.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Nice one, Howard. You are a card.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Any game that's sold more than 20 gets put in a shit-looking box so it can sell another five. This will shave another £50 off that $3.3 billion, returning Sony's games department to profitability by the year 17998.
"Now, they've either forgotten what colour platinum is, or they've decided that they've tried their hardest to convince people not to buy the console, so now it's time to convince people not to buy the games as well by making them as fucking hideous as possible. Cheers! Larry."
Ratchet & Clank? What definition is Sony using for these "platinum" re-releases nowadays? This spent 10 minutes in the chart, thanks to an old woman accidentally buying it for her grandson's birthday. He only had a PS2 so it was swapped four days later for one of the Need for Speeds.
"Now, they've either forgotten what colour platinum is, or they've decided that they've tried their hardest to convince people not to buy the console, so now it's time to convince people not to buy the games as well by making them as fucking hideous as possible. Cheers! Larry."
Ratchet & Clank? What definition is Sony using for these "platinum" re-releases nowadays? This spent 10 minutes in the chart, thanks to an old woman accidentally buying it for her grandson's birthday. He only had a PS2 so it was swapped four days later for one of the Need for Speeds.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Global Sony games boss quits, no doubt due to lack of games on disaster machine and the general nonsense he peddled to cover his arse.
Cyanide capsule in his office, or was Goebbels booted out due to PS3's embarrassing lack of first-party software? Who cares?! The regime is crumbling! Hirai! You're next!
Cyanide capsule in his office, or was Goebbels booted out due to PS3's embarrassing lack of first-party software? Who cares?! The regime is crumbling! Hirai! You're next!
SCE Worldwide Studios President Phil Harrison Resigns
SCE Group CEO Kazuo Hirai Assumes Responsibilities
Tokyo, February 25, 2008 - Sony Computer Entertainment Inc. (SCEI) today announced that Phil Harrison, President of Sony Computer Entertainment Worldwide Studios (SCE WWS), will resign from Sony Computer Entertainment Group as of February 29, 2008. Kazuo Hirai, President and Group CEO of SCEI, will immediately assume responsibilities as president of SCE WWS, in addition to his current duties.
Prior to the launch of the original PlayStation, Phil Harrison joined Sony Electronics Publishing, Ltd. in 1992, which later evolved into Sony computer Entertainment Europe, and since then, he has made a tremendous contribution to the company playing a strategic role in the launch of four PlayStation platforms, as well as building strong relationships with game developers and publishers throughout the world. Since his appointment to the position of president, SCE WWS, Harrison applied his considerable skill, knowledge and expertise to lead SCE Group's first party game development as well as aggressively pursuing the development of new online entertainment experiences.
"As one of the founding members of SCE, Phil played a key role in the development and growth of the PlayStation business and our industry," said Kazuo Hirai. "It is sad to see him departing from SCE, but I wish to express my gratitude for his many invaluable contributions and also wish Phil the very best of luck in his future endeavors."
"The past 15 years at Sony Computer Entertainment has been the defining journey of my life so far," said Phil Harrison. "I am grateful to all the PlayStation family for their incredible support, guidance and friendship. It has been a privilege to serve as part of the team and be inspired by them on a daily basis. I am so proud of everything PlayStation has achieved and will continue to support its future in every way I can."
Labels: WAR ON PS3
At this rate, PS3's going to struggle to catch up with Gizmondo's global install base, let alone Xbox 360 and Wii's.
Here are some amazingly hi-res photos of a woman wearing a Ninja Gaiden costume to assist your celebratory wank. We suggest a simultaneous, global climax at 01:30 hours on Sunday, June 17:
*celebratory wank*
JAPANESE HARDWARE SALES, WEEK ENDING JUNE 10DS: 117,228
Wii: 64,529
PSP: 24,711
PS2: 11,097
PS3: 8,776
360: 2,533
GBA: 799
NGC: 167
AMERICAN HARDWARE SALES, MAY 2007DS: 423,150
Wii: 338,278
PSP: 221,120
PS2: 187,765
360: 154,932
PS3: 81,604
GBA: 80,554
NGC: 10,728
Here are some amazingly hi-res photos of a woman wearing a Ninja Gaiden costume to assist your celebratory wank. We suggest a simultaneous, global climax at 01:30 hours on Sunday, June 17:
*celebratory wank*
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Folklore is a new PS3 game. It's a single-player fantasy game that's brown, even though PlayStation owners want FIFA and Gran Turismo and WipEout, not brown games about being a sexually ambiguous dwarf embarking upon a voyage of discovery on a farm.
Send this one back to the drawing board, Sony. It's not really going to help things.
We've lowered the JPEG compression to factor three, which makes it look slightly worse than the original file so people finding this from Google Image Search think the game looks really nasty. This is the sort of sub-viral anti-marketing we take great pleasure in.
Send this one back to the drawing board, Sony. It's not really going to help things.
We've lowered the JPEG compression to factor three, which makes it look slightly worse than the original file so people finding this from Google Image Search think the game looks really nasty. This is the sort of sub-viral anti-marketing we take great pleasure in.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
The people of America have dug up PS3's rotting corpse, violated it up the bottom, set it on fire, then buried it again. If the price isn't cut by 200 dollars by September 30th we'lll turn the site into a gay Mario fan fiction resource.
Cold, hard, glorious fact.
NORTH AMERICAN HARDWARE SALES FOR APRIL 2007:
DS: 471k
Wii: 360k
PS2: 194k
PSP: 183k
360: 174k
GBA: 84k
PS3: 82k
Cold, hard, glorious fact.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
We got sent this. Pay attention. It's a grower and one of those things that's so ace we can't stop looking at it:
Tells a story. Has a punchline. Slags off Sony. All boxes ticked.
IN OTHER NEWS...
Cunts Corner has been allowed back on the internet again, and this time it has photographs. If we're not on there by 3.30pm with some sort of accompanying explicit gay Photoshop illustration involving at least three penises we shall be very disappointed.
Tells a story. Has a punchline. Slags off Sony. All boxes ticked.
IN OTHER NEWS...
Cunts Corner has been allowed back on the internet again, and this time it has photographs. If we're not on there by 3.30pm with some sort of accompanying explicit gay Photoshop illustration involving at least three penises we shall be very disappointed.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
You'd better get used to playing games by waving things about, basically, as that's all there's going to be in about 18 months time.
And that's for 'Golden Week', which is like a Japanese Christmas and Bank Holiday rolled into one, and a time people tend to buy games consoles for something to do while at home in their tiny little paper houses.
Once everyone's finished wasting vast piles of money developing their current PS3 projects there'll be 50 collections of mini games released for Wii every week. If you want a vision of the future, imagine a remote control being waved near a human face... for ever.
We can't wait to see what Sony's embarrassing climbdown will be. Emergency 50 percent price cut? Cheaper new PS3 version without Blu-ray drive? Free t-shirts? Something has to be done before September, or it's exit hardware industry time.
NDS: 285,192 WII: 101,320 PSP: 35,172 PS2: 14,815 PS3: 12,974 360: 3,205
And that's for 'Golden Week', which is like a Japanese Christmas and Bank Holiday rolled into one, and a time people tend to buy games consoles for something to do while at home in their tiny little paper houses.
Once everyone's finished wasting vast piles of money developing their current PS3 projects there'll be 50 collections of mini games released for Wii every week. If you want a vision of the future, imagine a remote control being waved near a human face... for ever.
We can't wait to see what Sony's embarrassing climbdown will be. Emergency 50 percent price cut? Cheaper new PS3 version without Blu-ray drive? Free t-shirts? Something has to be done before September, or it's exit hardware industry time.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
This one's great. Probably a bit too obscure a reference if you've just come here from MySpace, though:
Also, our congratulations go out to the creator for not mentioning the Nuremberg Trials or dead farm animals and therefore producing something we can use without getting letters from solicitors about ceasing and then desisting.
Also, our congratulations go out to the creator for not mentioning the Nuremberg Trials or dead farm animals and therefore producing something we can use without getting letters from solicitors about ceasing and then desisting.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Isn't that a clever headline? You can use that if you want, for free, to illustrate the "Father of PlayStation retires" story you're no doubt currently writing for your blog/site/forum/magazine/podcast/videoblog:
And here's a picture we just made to illustrate the enemy leader's unconditional surrender:
Sony's plans for a ten-year reich - obliterated!
This is one someone else just made. Hopefully this won't turn into some sort of celebratory Photoshop competition. That would be very sad indeed, were it to happen. Especially if this archive of wartime imagery and this archive of Sony executive staff photos were used to portray Sony as broken and defeated Nazis facing certain execution.
HOPEFULLY THIS WON'T TURN INTO SOME SORT OF CELEBRATORY PHOTOSHOP COMPETITION, BUT IN CASE IT DOES, HERE ARE SOME RAW MATERIALS:
Please don't let this turn into some degrading internet Photoshop competition in which Sony is portrayed in an unfavourable light. It would be deeply unprofessional considering the sadness of this news.
And here's a picture we just made to illustrate the enemy leader's unconditional surrender:
Sony's plans for a ten-year reich - obliterated!
This is one someone else just made. Hopefully this won't turn into some sort of celebratory Photoshop competition. That would be very sad indeed, were it to happen. Especially if this archive of wartime imagery and this archive of Sony executive staff photos were used to portray Sony as broken and defeated Nazis facing certain execution.
HOPEFULLY THIS WON'T TURN INTO SOME SORT OF CELEBRATORY PHOTOSHOP COMPETITION, BUT IN CASE IT DOES, HERE ARE SOME RAW MATERIALS:
A photo of Ken Kutaragi A photo of Adolf Hilter A photo of some unsold PS3s A photo of the French PS3 launch event
Please don't let this turn into some degrading internet Photoshop competition in which Sony is portrayed in an unfavourable light. It would be deeply unprofessional considering the sadness of this news.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Japanese hardware sales figures for last week. What specialist video game trade refer to as a DOUBLE-WHAMMY - PlayStation3 is dead in Japan as well.
It's over. And remember how cheap the thing is out there, too, compared to here. Nintendo's waving at the crowd. Expect Sony's HR department to start sending out lots more letters very soon.
At least the massive UK sales will make up for it.
DS: 133k Wii: 75k PSP: 24k PS2: 12k PS3: 11k
It's over. And remember how cheap the thing is out there, too, compared to here. Nintendo's waving at the crowd. Expect Sony's HR department to start sending out lots more letters very soon.
At least the massive UK sales will make up for it.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
American hardware sales figures are in for March, and as the NPD isn't run by Nazis we're allowed to say what they are on the internet:
Just the usual CATACLYSMIC SALES DISASTER for PS3 then. Guess those, er, shortages are still hitting sales, what with there only being a spare three million on shelves worldwide.
At least the massive UK sales will make up for it.
DS: 508k PS2: 280k Wii: 259k X360: 199k PSP: 180k GBA: 148k PS3: 130k
Just the usual CATACLYSMIC SALES DISASTER for PS3 then. Guess those, er, shortages are still hitting sales, what with there only being a spare three million on shelves worldwide.
At least the massive UK sales will make up for it.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
The Sonic/PS3 update triggered an impromptu Photoshop competition, as readers clamoured to explain what Sonic was doing consorting with the weak, enemy machine.
Which means five people made some pictures.
And they were quite good. So here they are, in what we're calling our easiest update of the year so far:
This one could've been the winner, had this been an official competition. Sadly, it was not an official competition therefore there is NO BUDGET for prizes.
This one wouldn't have won anything, as it says "jus" which isn't a proper word. We're Nazis about spelling and stuff.
This one would've been second or third, and maybe won a prize, had this been an official competition.
This one's OK. We would've uploaded it to make it look like we got lots of entries, even though it's a bit basic.
This one should've definitely been a winner, possibly even THE ULTIMATE winner. It's very good. Brilliant, in fact. If only this was an official competition with a budget for prizes.
Which means five people made some pictures.
And they were quite good. So here they are, in what we're calling our easiest update of the year so far:
This one could've been the winner, had this been an official competition. Sadly, it was not an official competition therefore there is NO BUDGET for prizes.
This one wouldn't have won anything, as it says "jus" which isn't a proper word. We're Nazis about spelling and stuff.
This one would've been second or third, and maybe won a prize, had this been an official competition.
This one's OK. We would've uploaded it to make it look like we got lots of entries, even though it's a bit basic.
This one should've definitely been a winner, possibly even THE ULTIMATE winner. It's very good. Brilliant, in fact. If only this was an official competition with a budget for prizes.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
This week, Chart Track has decided to officially say that last week's top-selling PS3 game sold 6,899 copies in the UK.
That's 6,899 copies of Motorstorm, the game most people would surely buy alongside the pointless console. Expect analysts to say this is a "TOTAL DISASTER", as it is clearly a total disaster. And with Singstar the only half-decent PS3 exclusive coming this side of Christmas, it's going to get worse.
Here's a photo someone took of a PS3 at a car boot sale. It seems appropriate:
The enemy has suffered huge losses and is now in full retreat. We will be raising the orange/blue spiral victory flag above Sony's ridiculously expensive Soho offices within weeks, when the struggling company axes more staff and relocates to a Portakabin in Swindon.
That's 6,899 copies of Motorstorm, the game most people would surely buy alongside the pointless console. Expect analysts to say this is a "TOTAL DISASTER", as it is clearly a total disaster. And with Singstar the only half-decent PS3 exclusive coming this side of Christmas, it's going to get worse.
Here's a photo someone took of a PS3 at a car boot sale. It seems appropriate:
The enemy has suffered huge losses and is now in full retreat. We will be raising the orange/blue spiral victory flag above Sony's ridiculously expensive Soho offices within weeks, when the struggling company axes more staff and relocates to a Portakabin in Swindon.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Et tu, Sonic? This is the ultimate betrayal. All those times we gave his awful 3D games more points out of ten than they deserve over the last decade - and THIS is how the little shit repays us?
He was once our most loyal and obedient friend. But now we would calmly and casually put a bullet in his head without shedding a tear. War is such a terrible time.
He was once our most loyal and obedient friend. But now we would calmly and casually put a bullet in his head without shedding a tear. War is such a terrible time.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
And people think we're making all this up.
Global disaster equals celebratory wank time.
Global disaster equals celebratory wank time.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Poor old mrk2golf1.8t.
He's already sold 32 at a loss:
If anyone knows his identity, please pop in to see if he's OK.
He's already sold 32 at a loss:
If anyone knows his identity, please pop in to see if he's OK.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
And that's according to actual evidence:
And so is Xbox.
Kidnap boy lured by promise of PlayStation
Kidnap boy lured by promise of PlayStation
Jurors have been shown a video interview with a Perth man accused of conspiring with his homosexual partner to murder a boy they kidnapped and sexually abused for 20 days.
The man, Victor Leslie Urquhart, 46, who has AIDS, said the boy was lured to their home with the promise of a PlayStation.
Urquhart and his partner Robbie Sebastian Wheeler, 43, are on trial in the Western Australian District Court accused of plotting to wilfully murder the teenage boy.
The pair have already pleaded guilty in court to 27 charges between them, including deprivation of liberty and sexually assaulting the boy between August 30 and September 19, 2005, but have pleaded not guilty to conspiring to kill him.
Mr Urquhart said in the interview shown to the jury today he minimised the risk of the boy contracting AIDS by engaging only in oral sex and not having anal sex with him.
"I didn't engage in anal sex with the boy because of AIDS," he said.
During the interview with Perth detectives, Urquhart said he had never forced the boy to do anything.
He said he was freaked out by the situation but did not call police because he "didn't want to get into trouble".
He said he basically went along with Mr Wheeler, who lured the boy to their house by promising him a PlayStation or an X-box.
"Ryan offered him a PlayStation or an X-box.
"We had Maccas for dinner the first night.
"I made sure he ate - he had hot dogs, chips, takeaway and pizza.
"He was well looked after and showered and all that."
Urquhart said the boy was restrained by Wheeler during the 20 days, but had gone to the house of his own free will.
He had used bucket in the bathroom as a toilet.
Earlier today the jury was shown sketches, diagrams and notes taken from the home of the pair.
Documents shown to jurors included details of how the pair planned to go cruising and wanted to pick up a straight boy - "the younger the better" - and drug them before handcuffing them.
"The younger they are the shorter we'll keep them, unless we snag a homeless one.
"When we've finished with them want to get rid of them, start doing some snuff and damage them.
"Make sure find a safe place to dump them."
Another document contained the sentence: "Won't acid take care of the body so it's just bones?"
The trial continues.
And so is Xbox.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Courtesy of the Southport branch of GAME. It's ANOTHER unauthorised sign that head office needs to crack down on immediately:
LIVE REPORT: "This picture is from the GAME shop in Southport, Merseyside, taken on PS3 launch day, Friday 23rd March 2007 at 12:59pm. Good to see they have over 12k of stock waiting for some non-existent buyers. What's more interesting is the fact they are trying to flog some insurance as well, just in case you accidentally drop the PS3 on purpose – a bargain at 34.99 - although their spelling of peace is a bit dubious - Rastrus."
Even Shenmue's Tomato Store is struggling.
LIVE REPORT: "This picture is from the GAME shop in Southport, Merseyside, taken on PS3 launch day, Friday 23rd March 2007 at 12:59pm. Good to see they have over 12k of stock waiting for some non-existent buyers. What's more interesting is the fact they are trying to flog some insurance as well, just in case you accidentally drop the PS3 on purpose – a bargain at 34.99 - although their spelling of peace is a bit dubious - Rastrus."
Even Shenmue's Tomato Store is struggling.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
The Doncaster branch of Argos. 102 PlayStation3s in stock. Congratulations to all at Sony Europe for doing such a brilliant job of keeping up with - and staying massively ahead of - "demand".
Sony is now so far ahead of "demand" that it might as well close its PS3 factories for a few months and give all those poor Chinese workers a holiday.
Amazing resistance from the Doncaster forces. Surely no one will ever beat this incred...
Bristol takes the lead. Only send us a photo if it's over 200 from now on.
Sony is now so far ahead of "demand" that it might as well close its PS3 factories for a few months and give all those poor Chinese workers a holiday.
Amazing resistance from the Doncaster forces. Surely no one will ever beat this incred...
Bristol takes the lead. Only send us a photo if it's over 200 from now on.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
On its third week on sale in the UK, PlayStation3 sold 17,000 units. Nintendo's Wii sold 25,000 units in the same time, according to official Chart Track sales figures we're not supposed to have. But have.
Considering Wii is sold out everywhere and unwanted PS3s are piled high all over the place, this a comprehensive win for Nintendo and the icing on PS3's tombstone.
A proper web site will be along to confirm these figures are correct shortly with proper research and maybe a quote from Chart Track, just in case you don't believe us [link will go here]. The ball's back in your court, Threespeech.
F.A.O. SONY FANS:
If you like Sony or work for Sony and would like to put a positive 'spin' on this story, please attempt to do so in the Comments field below. We haven't wet ourselves laughing for 26 years and this could be the day. You could maybe say that all the potential PS3 owners spent their money on Easter eggs last week, and PS3 sales will pick up next week. Or you could say that it's OK because PS3 is more expensive and sales will pick up when Sony hacks the price down. Whatever makes you feel better about wasting that 425 quid.
Considering Wii is sold out everywhere and unwanted PS3s are piled high all over the place, this a comprehensive win for Nintendo and the icing on PS3's tombstone.
A proper web site will be along to confirm these figures are correct shortly with proper research and maybe a quote from Chart Track, just in case you don't believe us [link will go here]. The ball's back in your court, Threespeech.
F.A.O. SONY FANS:
If you like Sony or work for Sony and would like to put a positive 'spin' on this story, please attempt to do so in the Comments field below. We haven't wet ourselves laughing for 26 years and this could be the day. You could maybe say that all the potential PS3 owners spent their money on Easter eggs last week, and PS3 sales will pick up next week. Or you could say that it's OK because PS3 is more expensive and sales will pick up when Sony hacks the price down. Whatever makes you feel better about wasting that 425 quid.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Courtesy of the Sevenoaks branch of Choices video. The irony of a sign saying "LIMITED STOCK AVAILABLE" being stuck to a vast pile of unsold PS3s is SIMPLY DELICIOUS. Words can't express the joy we are feeling right now.
Keep the emails coming with your PS3 disaster photos - we'll update the site 50 times a day to accomodate them if need be.
Choices, by the way, tried its luck at selling 50 of its launch consoles on Ebay for the official launch price during launch week. You can imagine how it went. They sold three.
Keep the emails coming with your PS3 disaster photos - we'll update the site 50 times a day to accomodate them if need be.
Choices, by the way, tried its luck at selling 50 of its launch consoles on Ebay for the official launch price during launch week. You can imagine how it went. They sold three.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
You're seriously letting the side down. There's a FUCKING WAR GOING ON, in case you hadn't FUCKING NOTICED. Get your FUCKING factories into FUCKING GEAR and get some FUCKING CONSOLES out onto the FUCKING SHELVES, you FUCKING LAZY bunch of shysters.
If we don't start seeing some Wiis out there PRETTY FUCKING SOON we're going to have to start another war. Honestly. It's like you're not even trying. How hard is it to put Gamecubes into white boxes anyway?
If we don't start seeing some Wiis out there PRETTY FUCKING SOON we're going to have to start another war. Honestly. It's like you're not even trying. How hard is it to put Gamecubes into white boxes anyway?
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Making up for their conduct during WWII, the Japanese have been putting in some strong PS3 resistance of late:
Sony's public Hiroshima continues apace.
And this is what the living rooms of Ebay users across Europe look like. Never before has there been a bigger difference between "shipped" and "sold" figures.
JAPANESE HARDWARE SALES, WEEK ENDING APRIL 1, 2007
1. NDS: 80,012
2. Wii: 51,365
3. PSP: 39,077
4. PS2: 17,787
5. PS3: 16,889
6. 360: 3,889
Sony's public Hiroshima continues apace.
And this is what the living rooms of Ebay users across Europe look like. Never before has there been a bigger difference between "shipped" and "sold" figures.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Here are your Argos stock count photos. This huge amount of vastly expensive unsold stock could bring Argos to its knees.
SAYS THE SENDER: "This was taken this morning at Argos in Bolton - near the Reebok stadium. It's worth mentioning that while they had 46 PS3s in stock, they only had two Xbox 360 Premiums in stock."
SAYS THE SAME SENDER: "This was also taken this morning but at Argos in Chorley. 44 available!! Chorley has a population of about 4.37 people. So, since the huge Tesco there still has original launch PS3s for sale and the local GAME and Gamestation stores are now proudly boasting their first 'in-store' stock - I can't see many being shifted over the next few weeks."
Coventry. Well done, brave citizens.
Colliers Woods, London. Same hilarious un-shifted box story.
Nottingham. Even the city of pikey mobile phone thieves hasn't sold out of PS3s, which is pretty shocking as its Sony's lowest-common-denominator heartland.
Another Argos. The sender either didn't say what branch it was or we lost the email.
"Just" 25 left in Shepherd's Bush! Better hurry down there in the next 18 months if you want one.
Camden - 31. That'll do.
Camden again, from someone else two days later. It's probably just a coincidence, eh?
This person didn't say where it was. We didn't ask as we're sort of in a hurry to upload this and shame Sony to the world.
Maidenhead.
Malvern Argos. Sitting on a few.
Scunthorpe! Who would've thought they'd have fancy electronic displays in places like Scunthorpe?
Sheffield. Not exactly sold out. That's your lot. Make of it what you will. Thanks for all your hard work. You have once again outperformed all other readers of all other ex-SEGA blogs.
SAYS THE SENDER: "This was taken this morning at Argos in Bolton - near the Reebok stadium. It's worth mentioning that while they had 46 PS3s in stock, they only had two Xbox 360 Premiums in stock."
SAYS THE SAME SENDER: "This was also taken this morning but at Argos in Chorley. 44 available!! Chorley has a population of about 4.37 people. So, since the huge Tesco there still has original launch PS3s for sale and the local GAME and Gamestation stores are now proudly boasting their first 'in-store' stock - I can't see many being shifted over the next few weeks."
Coventry. Well done, brave citizens.
Colliers Woods, London. Same hilarious un-shifted box story.
Nottingham. Even the city of pikey mobile phone thieves hasn't sold out of PS3s, which is pretty shocking as its Sony's lowest-common-denominator heartland.
Another Argos. The sender either didn't say what branch it was or we lost the email.
"Just" 25 left in Shepherd's Bush! Better hurry down there in the next 18 months if you want one.
Camden - 31. That'll do.
Camden again, from someone else two days later. It's probably just a coincidence, eh?
This person didn't say where it was. We didn't ask as we're sort of in a hurry to upload this and shame Sony to the world.
Maidenhead.
Malvern Argos. Sitting on a few.
Scunthorpe! Who would've thought they'd have fancy electronic displays in places like Scunthorpe?
Sheffield. Not exactly sold out. That's your lot. Make of it what you will. Thanks for all your hard work. You have once again outperformed all other readers of all other ex-SEGA blogs.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
We're going to go to Manchester and shake every man, woman and child by the hand. Good work, people. Your resistance and bravery will be remembered for eternity.
When historians pinpoint the precise moment it went wrong for Sony and PlayStation3, they will say "Manchester, March 23, 2007, at the Arndale Shopping Centre, at about 4 o'clock".
FROM MANCHESTER: "This was taken in the Manchester Arndale Shopping Centre at about 4 o'clock on Friday. Guess Virgin Megastores are desperate to get rid of the 328 PS3s they have lying around" - Phil, Manchester.
When historians pinpoint the precise moment it went wrong for Sony and PlayStation3, they will say "Manchester, March 23, 2007, at the Arndale Shopping Centre, at about 4 o'clock".
FROM MANCHESTER: "This was taken in the Manchester Arndale Shopping Centre at about 4 o'clock on Friday. Guess Virgin Megastores are desperate to get rid of the 328 PS3s they have lying around" - Phil, Manchester.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
PlayStation3 registered an 82 percent drop in hardware sales for the week ending April 1, its second week on sale in the UK, according to official Chart Track hardware sales figures we're not supposed to have.
This is not really a surprise, as everyone who wanted a PS3 now has a PS3. Its brief blip of possible popularity has ended.
Chart Track only publicly released software sales figures for the last week, which were slightly more flattering to PS3 - showing over a 60 percent drop, as everyone who only bought Motorstorm bought Resistance and everyone who only bought Resistance bought Motorstorm.
And if someone from Sony Europe says this is due to "stock issues" it will be the single biggest lie in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD. It's quite unlikely that a press release will be issued about these figures.
PS3 is now a 100 percent verified disaster! And if you believed Chart Track's "165,000" you now have to believe Chart Track's "82 percent drop". Poor you.
Happy days. Some photo we used either today or last week came from the person who does this. It's a link to some student radio, so you don't have to click on it. We're just being polite.
FROM GERMANY: "I'm a Brit and I live in South Germany. I thought you might like to see a picture of the unsold stack of PS3s in the local MediaMarkt store (Huge German Electrical/Electronic Chain). I usually go into the store at least twice a week and the stack hasn't moved in the past week. Only 599 Europounds. Hardly compares to the XBox 360 which is 299 Europounds. All the best, Colin."
Nobody queued outside Nook's when PS3 went on sale, either. We should also link to Mr Biffo's awesome anecdote about Phil Harrison. If you like reading stories about people under great stress going mental in public, this is ideal.
We have literally 100s of photos like this. And WANT MORE!
This is not really a surprise, as everyone who wanted a PS3 now has a PS3. Its brief blip of possible popularity has ended.
Chart Track only publicly released software sales figures for the last week, which were slightly more flattering to PS3 - showing over a 60 percent drop, as everyone who only bought Motorstorm bought Resistance and everyone who only bought Resistance bought Motorstorm.
And if someone from Sony Europe says this is due to "stock issues" it will be the single biggest lie in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD. It's quite unlikely that a press release will be issued about these figures.
PS3 is now a 100 percent verified disaster! And if you believed Chart Track's "165,000" you now have to believe Chart Track's "82 percent drop". Poor you.
Happy days. Some photo we used either today or last week came from the person who does this. It's a link to some student radio, so you don't have to click on it. We're just being polite.
FROM GERMANY: "I'm a Brit and I live in South Germany. I thought you might like to see a picture of the unsold stack of PS3s in the local MediaMarkt store (Huge German Electrical/Electronic Chain). I usually go into the store at least twice a week and the stack hasn't moved in the past week. Only 599 Europounds. Hardly compares to the XBox 360 which is 299 Europounds. All the best, Colin."
Nobody queued outside Nook's when PS3 went on sale, either. We should also link to Mr Biffo's awesome anecdote about Phil Harrison. If you like reading stories about people under great stress going mental in public, this is ideal.
We have literally 100s of photos like this. And WANT MORE!
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Thanks to the amazing device that is... the Argos In-Store Stock Display System! We've had loads of these photos from keen readers - AND WANT MORE.
The brave green box speaks the truth:
This was taken by a reader in Argos, last Friday. PlayStation3 launch day. 33 left. In just one store. 165k? BOLLOCKS.
THEN HE SENT THIS ONE: "I emailed you last Friday with pictures I took in Argos in Lincoln, showing that on launch day they had 33 consoles left. Well, I dropped back in there today and had another look. Needless to say, the results were... a little surprising. 64 of the buggers! Either 31 people were really pissed off with their purchase or Sony decided to add more supply, given that demand is so high..."
Then, yesterday, we got this. This was taken in Argos in Bury. 62 available. In just one store.
And we got this one from somewhere in Northern Ireland. This is not us being crazy, or relying on anecdotal evidence from one or two people. It's a simple fact that PS3 has not sold. 165k is a lie. The truth will come out. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day.
SEND US YOUR LOCAL ARGOS IN-STORE PS3 STOCK COUNT PHOTOS TODAY!
And we'll do an update on them all next week. We'd also like to hear from you if you work in Argos. Just to know how awful it is. And we'd quite like to hear from someone at Chart Track, explaining how PS3 managed to sell precisely 165,000 consoles and not, say, 164,785 or 166,321. Surely it wasn't... A GUESS based on what Sony told you?
The brave green box speaks the truth:
This was taken by a reader in Argos, last Friday. PlayStation3 launch day. 33 left. In just one store. 165k? BOLLOCKS.
THEN HE SENT THIS ONE: "I emailed you last Friday with pictures I took in Argos in Lincoln, showing that on launch day they had 33 consoles left. Well, I dropped back in there today and had another look. Needless to say, the results were... a little surprising. 64 of the buggers! Either 31 people were really pissed off with their purchase or Sony decided to add more supply, given that demand is so high..."
Then, yesterday, we got this. This was taken in Argos in Bury. 62 available. In just one store.
And we got this one from somewhere in Northern Ireland. This is not us being crazy, or relying on anecdotal evidence from one or two people. It's a simple fact that PS3 has not sold. 165k is a lie. The truth will come out. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day.
SEND US YOUR LOCAL ARGOS IN-STORE PS3 STOCK COUNT PHOTOS TODAY!
And we'll do an update on them all next week. We'd also like to hear from you if you work in Argos. Just to know how awful it is. And we'd quite like to hear from someone at Chart Track, explaining how PS3 managed to sell precisely 165,000 consoles and not, say, 164,785 or 166,321. Surely it wasn't... A GUESS based on what Sony told you?
Labels: WAR ON PS3
This is your fold-out souvenir update celebrating the global end of Sony's gaming ambitions.
These are the triumphant scenes from across the UK, Europe and Australasian territories, as PlayStation3 lies crushed and defeated. We will never forget the brave consumers who resisted until the end on Friday, March 23, 2007.
BIRMINGHAM!
Here's a photo of the midnight launch frenzy at the Birmingham PlayStation3 launch. As you can see, the brave people of Brum stood tall and proudly stayed at home. [from here]
PS3 CRUSHED IN THE MIDLANDS.
SHEFFIELD!
The next day, the sheer humiliation of Sony's defeat was made apparent as launch day arrived in Sheffield. The proud industrial centre has NOT YIELDED ONE INCH to Sony's pathetic scheme.
"After reading all of the hype about PS3 selling out and whatnot I thought I would send this picture I took 20 minutes ago at Virgin Megastore in Sheffield. They have shed-loads of PS3s left and it's more than 30 seconds after launch. I especially like the tiny 425 sticker. Nice. Nuff said."
LONDON!
And of course, our capital stood firm, as it did in beneath Hitler's blitz of 1940 and 1941, and as it will do TIME AND TIME AGAIN whenever threatened by forces of evil.
This is an on-the-spot report from the DISASTER that was the PS3 midnight launch in Ealing Broadway. We've already covered the central London abomination, here's something from the outskirts.
"I remembered seeing Blockbuster in Ealing Broadway had a "Midnight Opening" sign up, so I went for some "hands-on" experience. Unfortunately, I think some irate Nintendo fans were out for blood, as someone drove past while I was watching and waiting outside the shop, and I was egged! Anyway, I managed to snag some photos."
"From the day before, showing the signs up..."
"Five minutes before midnight... that's a couple standing outside, they were the first in. A father and young son turned up around ten past. At about 12:25 a group lads turned up in a car, and one got out and went into the shop but I was getting on the bus to leave at the time. So all in all, they sold two in a half-hour period.
"Here's a picture of the result of my egging, after the culprits had escaped. It happened around 12:15."
NORWAY!
Great news for Sony from Norway - we have a CONFIRMED report that one console has definitely been sold!
SAYS A NORWEGIAN: "This poor bastard pretty much sums up the Norwegian launch. He's the owner of Gamezone in Stavanger and at the end of day one they had only sold one effin machine. Right now this is probably the face of most European store owners."
POLAND!
All you need to know is that "security guards and staff outnumbered those picking up pre-orders". [from here]
THAT AMAZING NEWS AGAIN: "security guards and staff outnumbered those picking up pre-orders".
AUSTRIA!
A text-only communication from a keen UKR reader in Austria:
NEWCASTLE!
The historic manufacturing base knows quality workmanship when it sees it - hence the UNIVERSAL SHUNNING of Sony's abysmal and ineffective PlayStation3 in the strong northern base.
"I was just in town today and I decided to take a photo of the sign outside Virgin that was featured on your site. They appear to have only sold FOUR more PS3s in 24 hours. This photo was taken on March 23rd at midday. Keep up the good work lads."
EDINBURGH!
As in numerous historic battles, the Scots provided some of the strongest and bravest resistance of all. We knew they would not let us down as the critical hours passed.
"I was uptown tonight in Edinburgh so thought I'd have a laugh at the spotty/unemployed/games industry people who turned up for the Midnight launch at Gamestation, Game and HMV on Princes Street. I think the picture attached, taken at 00:01, sums it up nicely. HMV was also shockingly bad, with less than 10 people instore at midnight. I'm not a fanboy of any colour, but it's nice seeing a company get a kicking for taking the public for granted - The Tophatron."
AUSTRALIA!
The never-say-die of the Aussies attitude shone through yet again down under.
"At midnight, about 40 PS3 buyers had arrived to collect their consoles, causing distress for the army of camera crews who turned up expecting to capture launch mayhem. Desperate producers unashamedly asked the crowd to fake excitement when the cameras were rolling, while a team from 2Day FM let out bogus cheers to convince their radio listeners that a launch extravaganza was underway."
"Now word from an employee there says they had 600 consoles as they expected hundred of people to arrive, but they sold about 60 in total. Sony spent 6million dollars on this launch, whereas MS spent 1million and the turnout was about 1000 people. What does that tell ya? It tells ya it's a good day to be in PAL Land! Yours joyfully, Mr Pink."
FRANCE!
Easily the biggest shame for Sony yet, where "only 50" people turned up to buy the 1000 PlayStation3s made available at the Paris midnight launch. [from here]
"PS3 launch in Paris was also a failure last night. Only four to five people were at the 'Champs Elysees' to buy Sony's shitty box. And only about 20 more were at the special event at the Eiffel tower to wait for it. Jeux-France has a video of the non-event, including Microsoft's boat floating in front of Sony's on the Seine and Georges Fornay (Sony's president in France) looking really worried about the few people there."
More on Sony's French CATASTROPHE from official French news sources here.
These are the triumphant scenes from across the UK, Europe and Australasian territories, as PlayStation3 lies crushed and defeated. We will never forget the brave consumers who resisted until the end on Friday, March 23, 2007.
BIRMINGHAM!
Here's a photo of the midnight launch frenzy at the Birmingham PlayStation3 launch. As you can see, the brave people of Brum stood tall and proudly stayed at home. [from here]
PS3 CRUSHED IN THE MIDLANDS.
SHEFFIELD!
The next day, the sheer humiliation of Sony's defeat was made apparent as launch day arrived in Sheffield. The proud industrial centre has NOT YIELDED ONE INCH to Sony's pathetic scheme.
"After reading all of the hype about PS3 selling out and whatnot I thought I would send this picture I took 20 minutes ago at Virgin Megastore in Sheffield. They have shed-loads of PS3s left and it's more than 30 seconds after launch. I especially like the tiny 425 sticker. Nice. Nuff said."
LONDON!
And of course, our capital stood firm, as it did in beneath Hitler's blitz of 1940 and 1941, and as it will do TIME AND TIME AGAIN whenever threatened by forces of evil.
This is an on-the-spot report from the DISASTER that was the PS3 midnight launch in Ealing Broadway. We've already covered the central London abomination, here's something from the outskirts.
"I remembered seeing Blockbuster in Ealing Broadway had a "Midnight Opening" sign up, so I went for some "hands-on" experience. Unfortunately, I think some irate Nintendo fans were out for blood, as someone drove past while I was watching and waiting outside the shop, and I was egged! Anyway, I managed to snag some photos."
"From the day before, showing the signs up..."
"Five minutes before midnight... that's a couple standing outside, they were the first in. A father and young son turned up around ten past. At about 12:25 a group lads turned up in a car, and one got out and went into the shop but I was getting on the bus to leave at the time. So all in all, they sold two in a half-hour period.
"Here's a picture of the result of my egging, after the culprits had escaped. It happened around 12:15."
NORWAY!
Great news for Sony from Norway - we have a CONFIRMED report that one console has definitely been sold!
SAYS A NORWEGIAN: "This poor bastard pretty much sums up the Norwegian launch. He's the owner of Gamezone in Stavanger and at the end of day one they had only sold one effin machine. Right now this is probably the face of most European store owners."
POLAND!
All you need to know is that "security guards and staff outnumbered those picking up pre-orders". [from here]
THAT AMAZING NEWS AGAIN: "security guards and staff outnumbered those picking up pre-orders".
AUSTRIA!
A text-only communication from a keen UKR reader in Austria:
"Just wanted to report in the failure of the PS3 launch in Vienna, Austria."
"First of all, there were no big midnight launch parties."
"I went by 2 out of the 3 major retailers before the shops opened to find only 3 people waiting at the doors of one, and 8 people waiting at the other (half of which were the mum's of the other half)."
"I even passed a 4th electronic store on the way to the office to find brand new playstations in the window. No one outside, and only staff inside (minus one kid on his way to school playing the Xbox 360 kiosk). As I stopped at the window, a pair of parents walked up and were speaking german to each other something to the fact that their son wanted one, but the father felt that 600 euro is "bankuberfall" (a bank robbery) and they continued walking."
"The resistance is strong in the Osterreich!"
"Chris"
NEWCASTLE!
The historic manufacturing base knows quality workmanship when it sees it - hence the UNIVERSAL SHUNNING of Sony's abysmal and ineffective PlayStation3 in the strong northern base.
"I was just in town today and I decided to take a photo of the sign outside Virgin that was featured on your site. They appear to have only sold FOUR more PS3s in 24 hours. This photo was taken on March 23rd at midday. Keep up the good work lads."
EDINBURGH!
As in numerous historic battles, the Scots provided some of the strongest and bravest resistance of all. We knew they would not let us down as the critical hours passed.
"I was uptown tonight in Edinburgh so thought I'd have a laugh at the spotty/unemployed/games industry people who turned up for the Midnight launch at Gamestation, Game and HMV on Princes Street. I think the picture attached, taken at 00:01, sums it up nicely. HMV was also shockingly bad, with less than 10 people instore at midnight. I'm not a fanboy of any colour, but it's nice seeing a company get a kicking for taking the public for granted - The Tophatron."
AUSTRALIA!
The never-say-die of the Aussies attitude shone through yet again down under.
"At midnight, about 40 PS3 buyers had arrived to collect their consoles, causing distress for the army of camera crews who turned up expecting to capture launch mayhem. Desperate producers unashamedly asked the crowd to fake excitement when the cameras were rolling, while a team from 2Day FM let out bogus cheers to convince their radio listeners that a launch extravaganza was underway."
"Now word from an employee there says they had 600 consoles as they expected hundred of people to arrive, but they sold about 60 in total. Sony spent 6million dollars on this launch, whereas MS spent 1million and the turnout was about 1000 people. What does that tell ya? It tells ya it's a good day to be in PAL Land! Yours joyfully, Mr Pink."
FRANCE!
Easily the biggest shame for Sony yet, where "only 50" people turned up to buy the 1000 PlayStation3s made available at the Paris midnight launch. [from here]
"PS3 launch in Paris was also a failure last night. Only four to five people were at the 'Champs Elysees' to buy Sony's shitty box. And only about 20 more were at the special event at the Eiffel tower to wait for it. Jeux-France has a video of the non-event, including Microsoft's boat floating in front of Sony's on the Seine and Georges Fornay (Sony's president in France) looking really worried about the few people there."
More on Sony's French CATASTROPHE from official French news sources here.
A ROUGH TRANSLATION OF THE FIRST PARAGRAPH:
FRENCH: "La Playstation 3 fait un bide 3000 fans etaient attendus au pied de la tour Eiffel : seule une centaine s'est presentee... L'evenement organise par Sony pour sa PS3 a vire au flop. 95 percent des consoles du magasin ephemere n'ont pas trouve preneur."
ENGLISH: "The Playstation 3 is a flop 3000 fans were expected in front of Eiffel tower: only a hundred came... Sony's event for its PS3 made a flop. 95% of the stock for this temporary shop didn't find a buyer."
Labels: WAR ON PS3
And this is just page one - of TWELVE! This is like turning into a super-hero and beating up all the people you hate, or arriving at the school reunion in a Ferrari with a pregnant Cheryl Tweedy and full head of hair.
THIS IS JUSTICE!
This is the second happiest two days of our lives, just behind the weekend of June 21-22, 1986 - the weekend we discovered wanking.
THIS IS JUSTICE!
This is the second happiest two days of our lives, just behind the weekend of June 21-22, 1986 - the weekend we discovered wanking.
AND THERE'S THIS:
Dear UKR,
Ebay changed its fees last month for the videogames category. It lowered the price of listing items to about 10p. However, it now takes more in commission off the backend. A whole nine percent! This means that any PS3 needs to sell for more than 463 pounds to break even - and more than that if they buyer pays by Paypal.
I imagine many of the scalpers will look at the ending value and figure they have made some profit - before the sting in the tail next month when the Ebay bill arrives.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Here are some photos from the London PS3 launch. It was like the opening scenes of 28 Days Later.
There were, literally, no more than 120 queuing people inside, and half of them were journalists. No queues outside. And this was 11pm on the Official Midnight Launch night for all of central London. It was a disaster. Obviously we're bound to say that, but it was. Nobody was interested in the slightest. Today, we are proud to be British.
That's the queue. All of it. The phrase we want to use to describe the clear death of PlayStation is "seismic shift in the national psyche" but that might be a bit over the heads of the 20,000 Gamefaqs readers we've picked up in the last couple of weeks. To put it in simpler terms - "Ps3 is teh doomed".
The London launch also proved how old fashioned Sony's "lifestyle" approach is. 10 years ago, we'd have been wowed by a launch party which featured hired performers, a predictable selection of hip hop music being played too loud and an overly-enthusiastic MC trying to get people to sound excited. Now, though, it's just embarrassing.
A few more disinterested automatons, the last of a dying breed, trudge lifelessly toward the till because they think they have to. It is the same across all of Europe. Today, we have woken up to a better, brighter world. A GREAT DARKNESS HAS BEEN LIFTED FROM US ALL! Sony is over. More photos from the European night of GLORY soon.
There were, literally, no more than 120 queuing people inside, and half of them were journalists. No queues outside. And this was 11pm on the Official Midnight Launch night for all of central London. It was a disaster. Obviously we're bound to say that, but it was. Nobody was interested in the slightest. Today, we are proud to be British.
That's the queue. All of it. The phrase we want to use to describe the clear death of PlayStation is "seismic shift in the national psyche" but that might be a bit over the heads of the 20,000 Gamefaqs readers we've picked up in the last couple of weeks. To put it in simpler terms - "Ps3 is teh doomed".
The London launch also proved how old fashioned Sony's "lifestyle" approach is. 10 years ago, we'd have been wowed by a launch party which featured hired performers, a predictable selection of hip hop music being played too loud and an overly-enthusiastic MC trying to get people to sound excited. Now, though, it's just embarrassing.
A few more disinterested automatons, the last of a dying breed, trudge lifelessly toward the till because they think they have to. It is the same across all of Europe. Today, we have woken up to a better, brighter world. A GREAT DARKNESS HAS BEEN LIFTED FROM US ALL! Sony is over. More photos from the European night of GLORY soon.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
"Commandant Harrison the launch is not going as planned. It seems we have underestimated the resolve of the British."
"Hmm. This is not good news Lieutenant Maguire ......we must instigate Plan B."
"Plan B.....are you sure.....with the money we are already losing on each console?"
"Yes, it's the last resort, we must do something to rescue the situation. Order the truck to deliver the big tellys."
"Er, yes Commandant, right away."
"But Maguire, this must be a secret do you hear? A secret. Do not tell anyone!"
"Hmm. This is not good news Lieutenant Maguire ......we must instigate Plan B."
"Plan B.....are you sure.....with the money we are already losing on each console?"
"Yes, it's the last resort, we must do something to rescue the situation. Order the truck to deliver the big tellys."
"Er, yes Commandant, right away."
"But Maguire, this must be a secret do you hear? A secret. Do not tell anyone!"
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Thanks for your submissions and brave work, everyone. It's been a pleasure. You have all made a difference.
When UK:Resistance is crowned King of the New Order, we will ensure that you are all given preferential treatment and shipped off to only the finest of labour camps, with the highest hygiene standards and most generous food rations. We look after our people, here. We will be a much better boss than the old boss.
THE FINAL PUSH:
EYEWITNESS REPORT: "I work in the centre of Sheffield and have been walking past this sign practically every day since Game started taking pre-orders. I particularly like the way that the store manager has had to put 'Remember the Wii?' on the sign to try and scaremonger potential customers into purchasing a piece of shit which they otherwise wouldn't have thought twice about. Well, it hasn't worked, has it?"
EYEWITNESS REPORT: "Find attached two photos I took today in Sheffield. Playtime in Sheffield is ADVERTISING it still has PS3s left. I went in to ask how many they had in the first place but they wouldn't tell me. Sorry about the poor picture quality, I can't afford a decent camera because I gave all my money to Sega back in 2001".
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ABOUT 'PLAYTIME': "Playtime is an interesting shop because the owner can't stand Nintendo and the other main guy who works there only buys Nintendo consoles. I don't think there's ever been a time when I've walked in and they haven't been arguing about Nintendo. If only they would learn..."
"I work at Blockbusters and the past 4 weeks has just been a relentless push on pre-orders for the PS3. We were told that Sony could guarantee that every pre-order would be honoured. Blockbuster seem to think that they are bum chums with Sony. We can't shift them for love nor money. In fact, the only 2 we have pre-ordered were from the same guy and he even told me that he was going to Ebay them to make a tidy profit. What a twat. As the launch date has been approaching and units still not being shifted in the quantities expected we were told by higher management to leave "two interesting facts that customers might not know about the PS3" on the company voicemail that we could then pass on the grateful public. Frankly, most of the facts given were beyond lame. Example: Did you know that the PS3 is portable? You can move it about. Gee, thanks. Example 2: Did you know that the PS3 is multi-region and will play DVDs and Blu-Rays from around the world. Er, no it fucking well can't. Honestly, it's getting embarrassing."
YES: Is the new PlayStation 3 doomed to failure?
ON THE SPOT REPORT: "HMV in the centre of Oxford has been advertising pre-orders for the last two weeks. Yesterday, they resorted to touting their pre-order allocation as some kind of reverse psychology incentive. Needless to say, the number was the same today.
"Meanwhile, Virgin across the street has also had a sign outside advertising its pre-orders for the last week or so. Doesn't look like they're having much luck either."
"Just went to an eb games in auckland new zealand and asked them how many consoles they have left for pre order and they said only a few, then I overhear a conversation the manager has with another store and hear him say "it's not going too well we've only had 30 pre-orders" so they are struggling to get rid of them over here... the ps3 is dead!!"
DENMARK!
ALTRINCHAM!
MIDDLESBROUGH!
NEWCASTLE!
ABERDEEN!
HULL!
HULL!
HULL!
HULL!
"Here's some potentially interesting data that shows the complete lack of interest in the PS3 that I came across today. "The share of UK Internet searches for 'playstation 3' increased 14% in the past four weeks." - Ha ha ha, totally toss."
NEVER TRUST THE ITALIANS AT A TIME OF WAR:
http://www.gamesindustry.biz/content_page.php?aid=23664
"Speaking to GamesIndustry.biz, Virgin's promotions and PR manager Stephen Lynn said he wasn't disappointed by the level of turnout on Wednesday. "I'm delighted that we've got anyone at all, to be honest."
"Thought you might be interested in a message I saw on a board: "Where I work, we originally started a couple of weeks ago with a sign that said "Only 12 PS3s left!" A couple of days later, that changed to "Only six left!" It is now sitting at "Only two left!" We have not sold any since the "12 left" sign"
"The PS3 Launch line up is so exciting that if you buy on a PS3 at HMV, they are offering you a PS2 port of a PSP port of a PS2 game that came out in 2002 for only £10! Assuming it runs on your PS3, this means you can be playing this great game for only FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE POUNDS - what a launch!"
That just about wraps things up.
When UK:Resistance is crowned King of the New Order, we will ensure that you are all given preferential treatment and shipped off to only the finest of labour camps, with the highest hygiene standards and most generous food rations. We look after our people, here. We will be a much better boss than the old boss.
THE FINAL PUSH:
EYEWITNESS REPORT: "I work in the centre of Sheffield and have been walking past this sign practically every day since Game started taking pre-orders. I particularly like the way that the store manager has had to put 'Remember the Wii?' on the sign to try and scaremonger potential customers into purchasing a piece of shit which they otherwise wouldn't have thought twice about. Well, it hasn't worked, has it?"
EYEWITNESS REPORT: "Find attached two photos I took today in Sheffield. Playtime in Sheffield is ADVERTISING it still has PS3s left. I went in to ask how many they had in the first place but they wouldn't tell me. Sorry about the poor picture quality, I can't afford a decent camera because I gave all my money to Sega back in 2001".
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ABOUT 'PLAYTIME': "Playtime is an interesting shop because the owner can't stand Nintendo and the other main guy who works there only buys Nintendo consoles. I don't think there's ever been a time when I've walked in and they haven't been arguing about Nintendo. If only they would learn..."
"I work at Blockbusters and the past 4 weeks has just been a relentless push on pre-orders for the PS3. We were told that Sony could guarantee that every pre-order would be honoured. Blockbuster seem to think that they are bum chums with Sony. We can't shift them for love nor money. In fact, the only 2 we have pre-ordered were from the same guy and he even told me that he was going to Ebay them to make a tidy profit. What a twat. As the launch date has been approaching and units still not being shifted in the quantities expected we were told by higher management to leave "two interesting facts that customers might not know about the PS3" on the company voicemail that we could then pass on the grateful public. Frankly, most of the facts given were beyond lame. Example: Did you know that the PS3 is portable? You can move it about. Gee, thanks. Example 2: Did you know that the PS3 is multi-region and will play DVDs and Blu-Rays from around the world. Er, no it fucking well can't. Honestly, it's getting embarrassing."
YES: Is the new PlayStation 3 doomed to failure?
ON THE SPOT REPORT: "HMV in the centre of Oxford has been advertising pre-orders for the last two weeks. Yesterday, they resorted to touting their pre-order allocation as some kind of reverse psychology incentive. Needless to say, the number was the same today.
"Meanwhile, Virgin across the street has also had a sign outside advertising its pre-orders for the last week or so. Doesn't look like they're having much luck either."
"Just went to an eb games in auckland new zealand and asked them how many consoles they have left for pre order and they said only a few, then I overhear a conversation the manager has with another store and hear him say "it's not going too well we've only had 30 pre-orders" so they are struggling to get rid of them over here... the ps3 is dead!!"
DENMARK!
ALTRINCHAM!
MIDDLESBROUGH!
NEWCASTLE!
ABERDEEN!
HULL!
HULL!
HULL!
HULL!
"Here's some potentially interesting data that shows the complete lack of interest in the PS3 that I came across today. "The share of UK Internet searches for 'playstation 3' increased 14% in the past four weeks." - Ha ha ha, totally toss."
NEVER TRUST THE ITALIANS AT A TIME OF WAR:
http://www.gamesindustry.biz/content_page.php?aid=23664
"Speaking to GamesIndustry.biz, Virgin's promotions and PR manager Stephen Lynn said he wasn't disappointed by the level of turnout on Wednesday. "I'm delighted that we've got anyone at all, to be honest."
"Thought you might be interested in a message I saw on a board: "Where I work, we originally started a couple of weeks ago with a sign that said "Only 12 PS3s left!" A couple of days later, that changed to "Only six left!" It is now sitting at "Only two left!" We have not sold any since the "12 left" sign"
"The PS3 Launch line up is so exciting that if you buy on a PS3 at HMV, they are offering you a PS2 port of a PSP port of a PS2 game that came out in 2002 for only £10! Assuming it runs on your PS3, this means you can be playing this great game for only FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE POUNDS - what a launch!"
That just about wraps things up.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Here we are! The launch event starts now!
The excitement is amazing, the crowds...
Oh.
There are two people queuing for a PS3. The first one is a woman. All the other people in this picture are journalists and PR people who were probably expecting a better turn out, plus security guards who can't believe how easy the job is as all they have to do is take the names of a few meek writers who want to take photos for their blogs.
We didn't bother interviewing her, as she's obviously (a) a friend of someone at Sony, (b) a friend of someone at Virgin, (c) a COMPLETE FUCKING LUNATIC, or (d) a homeless crack addict glad of a warm place to sleep tonight where she won't get raped. The rape will instead happen at midnight on Thursday when she hands over her credit card to buy a PS3.
UPDATE: We are reliably informed by a reporter friend that the second guy in the queue is "buying six to sell on Ebay". Worst. Idea. Ever.
This man's filming the event!
This is what he's filming. He'll have to work one hell of an 'angle' to get something decent out of this embarrassing public cluster-fuck.
We would imagine that there will indeed be some PS3s left over to buy this weekend. Bring a van, you can have 50,000 if you want.
The excitement is amazing, the crowds...
Oh.
There are two people queuing for a PS3. The first one is a woman. All the other people in this picture are journalists and PR people who were probably expecting a better turn out, plus security guards who can't believe how easy the job is as all they have to do is take the names of a few meek writers who want to take photos for their blogs.
We didn't bother interviewing her, as she's obviously (a) a friend of someone at Sony, (b) a friend of someone at Virgin, (c) a COMPLETE FUCKING LUNATIC, or (d) a homeless crack addict glad of a warm place to sleep tonight where she won't get raped. The rape will instead happen at midnight on Thursday when she hands over her credit card to buy a PS3.
UPDATE: We are reliably informed by a reporter friend that the second guy in the queue is "buying six to sell on Ebay". Worst. Idea. Ever.
This man's filming the event!
This is what he's filming. He'll have to work one hell of an 'angle' to get something decent out of this embarrassing public cluster-fuck.
We would imagine that there will indeed be some PS3s left over to buy this weekend. Bring a van, you can have 50,000 if you want.
Labels: PR DISASTER, WAR ON PS3
According to actual research. Just 12 of the 50 most popular European PS2 games work properly on PS3. 9 have "minor issues" while 13 have "noticeable issues" and 16 "don't work at all"
TOTALLY BROKEN: Guitar Hero, Guitar Hero II, SSX Tricky, Gran Turismo 4, Metal Gear Solid 2... AND MORE:
Incredibly, Sony's OFFICIAL ADVICE includes the following line:
UKR'S OFFICIAL ADVICE:
You should skip PlayStation3.
TOTALLY BROKEN: Guitar Hero, Guitar Hero II, SSX Tricky, Gran Turismo 4, Metal Gear Solid 2... AND MORE:
HERE ARE THE STATS, COMPILED BY MARK, WHO HAS A LOT OF FREE TIME AT THE MOMENT DUE TO PERSONAL ISSUES:
"I've just gone through the top 50 highest-reviewed PS2 games according to Game Rankings (don't ask me how I got the time, it involves having a breakdown and being a drop-out until I'm sane again) and checked them all against the PS3 backwards compatibility lists for the new European version of the hardware."
1. Resident Evil 4 - Noticeable Issues
2. Grand Theft Auto III - Works
3. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas - Noticeable Issues
4. Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty - Doesn't Work
5. Gran Turismo 3: A-Spec - Minor Issues
6. God of War II - Works
7. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City - Works
8. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 - Minor Issues
9. Pro Evolution Soccer 2 - Minor Issues
10. God of War - Works
11. Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence - Works
12. Burnout 3: Takedown - Minor Issues
13. NCAA Football 2004 - Not released in Europe
14. Okami - Noticeable Issues
15. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4 - Noticeable Issues
16. Winning Eleven: Pro Evolution Soccer 2007 - Not released in Europe
17. Final Fantasy XII - Minor Issues
18. Devil May Cry - Works
19. SSX Tricky - Doesn't Work
20. Guitar Hero II - Doesn't Work
21. Madden NFL 2002 - Noticeable Issues
22. Guitar Hero - Doesn't Work
23. SSX 3 - Doesn't Work
24. SSX - Doesn't Work
25. Madden NFL 2004 - Doesn't Work
26. Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal - Doesn't Work
27. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time - Minor Issues
28. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater - Noticeable Issues
29. Soul Calibur II - Doesn't Work
30. TimeSplitters 2 - Noticeable Issues
31. Pro Evolution Soccer 5 - Noticeable Issues
32. Shadow of the Colossus - Works
33. Madden NFL 2003 - Noticeable Issues
34. Virtua Fighter 4: Evolution - Minor Issues
35. Final Fantasy X - Noticeable Issues
36. NCAA Football 2003 - Not released in Europe
37. World Soccer Winning Eleven 8 International - Not released in Europe
38. Virtua Fighter 4 - Minor Issues
39. Tony Hawk's Underground - Minor Issues
40. Pro Evolution Soccer 4 - Noticeable Issues
41. Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando - Doesn't Work
42. Burnout Revenge - Works
43. Madden NFL 2005 - Noticeable Issues
44. NCAA Football 2002 - Not released in Europe
45. Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy - Doesn't Work
46. Winning Eleven 6 International - Not released in Europe
47. ICO - Works
48. Madden NFL 2001 - Noticeable Issues
49. Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King - Doesn't Work
50. NBA Street Vol. 2 - Works
51. Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2004 - Works
52. NCAA Football 2005 - Not Released in Europe
53. Ratchet & Clank - Doesn't Work
54. Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell Chaos Theory - Doesn't Work
55. NBA 2K2 - Doesn't Work
56. Gran Turismo 4 - Doesn't Work
57. Tekken 5 - Works
Incredibly, Sony's OFFICIAL ADVICE includes the following line:
You should skip optional FMV sequences
UKR'S OFFICIAL ADVICE:
You should skip PlayStation3.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
HMV and GAME on London's Oxford Street have both CANCELLED their midnight openings for PS3 launch day. Instead, GAME is offering free bacon sandwiches on the following Friday morning, while HMV has resorted to giving away 150 copies of Virtua Tennis 3.
Funny - usually console launches don't require blatant bribery to get people to turn up and buy new consoles. Usually, there's some sort of mad rush and excitement, not miserable staff in polo shirts handing out BACON SANDWICHES to tempt people in so they don't get sacked.
Or go to Sainsburys, buy some bread and and some bacon and save yourself about 422 quid.
THE FACTS TO BACK THIS UP:
Funny - usually console launches don't require blatant bribery to get people to turn up and buy new consoles. Usually, there's some sort of mad rush and excitement, not miserable staff in polo shirts handing out BACON SANDWICHES to tempt people in so they don't get sacked.
Or go to Sainsburys, buy some bread and and some bacon and save yourself about 422 quid.
THE FACTS TO BACK THIS UP:
HMV CAN'T BE BOTHERED WITH PS3 GAME CAN'T BE BOTHERED EITHER, BUT IS AT LEAST MAKING UP AN EXCUSE
Labels: WAR ON PS3
"The Blockbuster in question is the one on Clifton Road close to Maida Vale tube station" said the vigilant spotter, so if you fancy getting one of the last 218,000 available UK machines hurry down there now!
Note to self: Start up new web site about poorly written shop signs.
And by "only few" they mean "all the ones we stupidly ordered from the wholesaler a couple of months ago when it looked like a money maker rather than a disastrous cash pit".
Note to self: Start up new web site about poorly written shop signs.
And by "only few" they mean "all the ones we stupidly ordered from the wholesaler a couple of months ago when it looked like a money maker rather than a disastrous cash pit".
Labels: WAR ON PS3
In a nutshell - no one wants to launch games alongside PS3 and would rather wait until more than 6,400 people have bought one, so sales figures are only disastrous instead of VERY DISASTROUS:
Ubisoft and Vivendi have clearly realised the financial idiocy of spending loads of money bringing old Xbox 360 games we've already bought and played to a console no one's going to buy.
FROM HERE:
MCV
Ubisoft and Vivendi have clearly realised the financial idiocy of spending loads of money bringing old Xbox 360 games we've already bought and played to a console no one's going to buy.
FROM HERE:
MCV
Labels: WAR ON PS3
The undeniable truth of PS3's failing in the UK has been revealed, thanks to a photograph of an in-store Currys staff bulletin screen.
Currys, the high street chain stupid people use to pay more for electronics than they cost on the internet or anywhere else, has not hit its PS3 pre-order targets. Look - even people on the internet can't argue with an actual photograph:
Good news about the HDMI cables, though. That'll really make up the massive financial shortfall Sony's dead-on-arrival PS3 is inflicting on businesses across the land.
Currys, the high street chain stupid people use to pay more for electronics than they cost on the internet or anywhere else, has not hit its PS3 pre-order targets. Look - even people on the internet can't argue with an actual photograph:
Good news about the HDMI cables, though. That'll really make up the massive financial shortfall Sony's dead-on-arrival PS3 is inflicting on businesses across the land.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
PlayStation3 is dead in America. Actually dead. Already. It's over. It's over. This is FACT. Our hands are shaking as we type these amazing, DISASTROUS American PS3 sales figures. It's over.
It doesn't matter what happens in Europe now. The global financial powerhouse has REJECTED PlayStation3 and the tide has already turned. There is no way back, not even a cumbersome 3D avatar system from a 1998 PC game and a game about teddy bears can save PS3 now. IT IS OVER!
Tonight we shall enjoy the wank of the victorious.
US SALES FIGURES FOR FEBRUARY 2007 [source]DS: 485,000 Wii: 335,000 PS2: 295,000 360: 228,000 PSP: 176,000 GBA!: 136,000 PS3: 127,000
It doesn't matter what happens in Europe now. The global financial powerhouse has REJECTED PlayStation3 and the tide has already turned. There is no way back, not even a cumbersome 3D avatar system from a 1998 PC game and a game about teddy bears can save PS3 now. IT IS OVER!
Tonight we shall enjoy the wank of the victorious.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
This is the most incredible display of PS3 pre-order desperation yet. We can't stop looking at it. It's beyond belief. It's beautiful yet terrifying.
It's the Horsham branch of GAME attempting MIND CONTROL:
SAYS THE SPOTTER: "It's official - the PS3 is cheaper than the combined price of two more expensive things. It's certainly food for thought."
IF YOU WORK FOR GAME IN HORSHAM:
Please seek some sort of medical or psychiatric care, or at least take a week or two off work to relax and calm down a bit. It's really not that important.
IN OTHER NEWS: Play has started giving away free games to try and shift its clearly massive "launch allocation". We can only imagine the amount of horrified realisation that is dawning in retailer boardrooms across the country right now.
It's the Horsham branch of GAME attempting MIND CONTROL:
SAYS THE SPOTTER: "It's official - the PS3 is cheaper than the combined price of two more expensive things. It's certainly food for thought."
IF YOU WORK FOR GAME IN HORSHAM:
Please seek some sort of medical or psychiatric care, or at least take a week or two off work to relax and calm down a bit. It's really not that important.
IN OTHER NEWS: Play has started giving away free games to try and shift its clearly massive "launch allocation". We can only imagine the amount of horrified realisation that is dawning in retailer boardrooms across the country right now.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Look, we're not 'all over' Xbox 360 or anything, it's just that Microsoft is doing such a solid, unremarkable job of it all that there's nothing to hate.
Unless you work for GAME in the pikey shopping hell of the Bluewater Centre, that is, where they're assuming people 'know about' and 'care about' HD movie formats:
Well done, idiots. You've made the one console people might actually be able to afford and want to buy sound a bit rubbish. So you won't sell anything at all now. When did shops start being biased about the things they sell?
Here's a photo we just took in Tesco, where the 'Apple War' is in full flight. It looks rubbish because our phone camera isn't very good at perspective.
Unless you work for GAME in the pikey shopping hell of the Bluewater Centre, that is, where they're assuming people 'know about' and 'care about' HD movie formats:
Well done, idiots. You've made the one console people might actually be able to afford and want to buy sound a bit rubbish. So you won't sell anything at all now. When did shops start being biased about the things they sell?
WHAT WE CAN ALSO INFER FROM THIS SIGNThey still have lots left no one wants The war's getting dirty out there
Here's a photo we just took in Tesco, where the 'Apple War' is in full flight. It looks rubbish because our phone camera isn't very good at perspective.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
In an incredible twist, Leeds would appear to have plenty of PlayStation3s left for pre-order. This is certainly bucking the national trend!
ON THE SPOT REPORT: "Hello all, I've attached two photos taken in Leeds' main shopping area. As you can see, GAME are in their last few days of pre-orders for PS3, except that sign has been there for the last few weeks."
"Virgin on the other hand are emphasising their student discount by any means necessary. I couldn't get photos of inside, but under every PS3 pre-order poster there are huge signs pointing out the 10% discount for all students. What they should be advertising is that with 10% off a PS3 you can buy yourself a Wii as well."
F.A.O. STUDENTS:
If you buy a PS3 this means you're not allowed to whine about loans or attend anti-capitalist rallies with your sack-cloth-wearing, dreadlocked, stinking, gap-year-in-Thailand-going-off-on, quorn-eating friends. You're also not allowed to spend the next 25 years of your life only talking about your "uni" friends and the things you did in "uni" and how much fun you had in "uni". That last one's a general rule even if you don't buy a PS3.
ON THE SPOT REPORT: "Hello all, I've attached two photos taken in Leeds' main shopping area. As you can see, GAME are in their last few days of pre-orders for PS3, except that sign has been there for the last few weeks."
"Virgin on the other hand are emphasising their student discount by any means necessary. I couldn't get photos of inside, but under every PS3 pre-order poster there are huge signs pointing out the 10% discount for all students. What they should be advertising is that with 10% off a PS3 you can buy yourself a Wii as well."
F.A.O. STUDENTS:
If you buy a PS3 this means you're not allowed to whine about loans or attend anti-capitalist rallies with your sack-cloth-wearing, dreadlocked, stinking, gap-year-in-Thailand-going-off-on, quorn-eating friends. You're also not allowed to spend the next 25 years of your life only talking about your "uni" friends and the things you did in "uni" and how much fun you had in "uni". That last one's a general rule even if you don't buy a PS3.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
This isn't a pre-order campaign - it's a MASSACRE.
Sony has clearly manufactured a PS3 for every man, woman and child in Europe. Either that or NO ONE WANTS THE THING and its cumbersome 3D avatar system from 1998.
Sony has clearly manufactured a PS3 for every man, woman and child in Europe. Either that or NO ONE WANTS THE THING and its cumbersome 3D avatar system from 1998.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
The brave people of France are ordering the out-of-stock Nintendo Wii ahead of the definitely-in-stock-even-if-you-want-two-fucking-thousand PlayStation3.
Our French friends would rather wait "1-4 months" for a Wii than have a PS3. Finally, we have found the common ground that will bring our two historic nations together!
We shall celebrate by having a wank over 'Betty Blue' tonight.
SAYS OUR SPY: "Just thought you'd like to know that pre-orders for the currently out of stock Wii at Amazon France (with an estimated delivery date of between 1 to 2 months) are currently higher than those of launch day PS3s. At the time of writing Wii is at 2 in the Amazon gaming chart with PS3 at 8."
A united Europe WILL NEVER FALL.
WE USE THESE INDICATORS WHEN IT SUITS US, AND IGNORE THEM WHEN IT DOESN'T:
And Animal Crossing is still up there! Viva la France!
Our French friends would rather wait "1-4 months" for a Wii than have a PS3. Finally, we have found the common ground that will bring our two historic nations together!
We shall celebrate by having a wank over 'Betty Blue' tonight.
SAYS OUR SPY: "Just thought you'd like to know that pre-orders for the currently out of stock Wii at Amazon France (with an estimated delivery date of between 1 to 2 months) are currently higher than those of launch day PS3s. At the time of writing Wii is at 2 in the Amazon gaming chart with PS3 at 8."
A united Europe WILL NEVER FALL.
WE USE THESE INDICATORS WHEN IT SUITS US, AND IGNORE THEM WHEN IT DOESN'T:
And Animal Crossing is still up there! Viva la France!
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Print this out, then stick it in shop windows across the country. If we can convince ONE PERSON not to bother, if we can save ONE POOR SOUL from Sony's evil European rip-off, it will be worth it.
Stick it in doorways, on our mighty oak trees, on the lamp posts and walls of our proud industrial cities. Adorn your windows and cars, spread word that the foul invasion of our country WILL NOT WORK.
And if you use the printer at work it won't even cost you anything.
This is the only one of these you're ever likely to see.
Stick it in doorways, on our mighty oak trees, on the lamp posts and walls of our proud industrial cities. Adorn your windows and cars, spread word that the foul invasion of our country WILL NOT WORK.
And if you use the printer at work it won't even cost you anything.
This is the only one of these you're ever likely to see.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
News just in - the heroic people of Birmingham are not falling for Sony's faltering scheme either. Colour in another section of the War Room map, Mr Montgomery!
The city's desperate branch of Gamestation has resorted to papering most of its front windows in crude, lurid coloured propaganda leaflets, in an attempt to attract idiots into its evil clutches - like sportswear-clad moths to the world's most expensive flame.
This plan will fail - and it's cost them a lot of money in paper and printer toner. The search is now on to find a shop that has actually sold its entire pre-order allocation. The search will, of course, be FUTILE, thanks to the IRON WILLED people of Europe.
The city's desperate branch of Gamestation has resorted to papering most of its front windows in crude, lurid coloured propaganda leaflets, in an attempt to attract idiots into its evil clutches - like sportswear-clad moths to the world's most expensive flame.
This plan will fail - and it's cost them a lot of money in paper and printer toner. The search is now on to find a shop that has actually sold its entire pre-order allocation. The search will, of course, be FUTILE, thanks to the IRON WILLED people of Europe.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Still believe the LIES about PS3 pre-orders going well? Then THINK AGAIN. If things are so rosy, how come HMV is giving away a grand of games just to tempt the scum into pre-ordering one?
What's happened here is HMV had a meeting where questions like "Shit! What can we do to shift some of these useless things no one wants?" were asked, then someone suggested doing a competition.
No one else had any better ideas, so they did a competition.
And the CAPITALIST SCUM have called VF5 "Virtual Fighter 5". Will people NEVER LEARN? It's insult after insult to our proud national heritage. Never before has there been a better time to throw a bin through a shop window.
What's happened here is HMV had a meeting where questions like "Shit! What can we do to shift some of these useless things no one wants?" were asked, then someone suggested doing a competition.
No one else had any better ideas, so they did a competition.
And the CAPITALIST SCUM have called VF5 "Virtual Fighter 5". Will people NEVER LEARN? It's insult after insult to our proud national heritage. Never before has there been a better time to throw a bin through a shop window.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
Online retailer Gameplay has resorted to putting screenshots of Gears of War on its PS3 pre-order page to make it look better than it actually is, in the hope that it may make at least one person in the UK make a pre-order.
Amazingly, the blundering Sony sympathiser has even used the box - the box that says GEARS OF WAR on it - to illustrate PS3's upcoming flop war game Resistance.
Whether this is an evil wartime lie designed to trick people or simple stupidity on its part, the end result will be the same - no pre-orders. Well done on matching Sony's ineptitude, though.
Amazingly, the blundering Sony sympathiser has even used the box - the box that says GEARS OF WAR on it - to illustrate PS3's upcoming flop war game Resistance.
Whether this is an evil wartime lie designed to trick people or simple stupidity on its part, the end result will be the same - no pre-orders. Well done on matching Sony's ineptitude, though.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
This is no one-off. This is not some rogue retailer who ordered more than he can sell. The lack of interest in PS3 is systemic, undeniable and nationwide. What's also amazing is how retailers are lying about it, as if they think their customers can't see what's happening.
This "last chance to order today" sign has been out for weeks. The collaborating SCUM at Virgin should be shot:
"Here is a picture of the hopelessly optimistic sign outside the Virgin Megastore on High Street Kensington. It was taken last Friday when I walked past on my way to Uni. It was up over a week before when I became the last person on earth to buy Animal Crossing: Wild World. It was up before that, when I got a copy of the DS Lite browser. I'm just listing this so you can have an idea of how much money I've spent NOT pre-ordering the PS3".
"When I went to pay, the guy asked me 'Had you considered pre-ordering a PS3?'. I replied, 'Only as some sort of nightmarish fantasy'. Let's face it, if you really want to beat up hookers with a baseball bat, Soho is only a 20 minute bus-ride away. The sign went up the day the PS3 was available for pre-order. I'm guessing that the main reason they haven't take it down yet is to save the trouble of having to put it back up the day before the PS3 is released".
CRUSHING THE PUNY FORCES
Tomorrow we will show you how Liverpool is rejecting PS3. Then Manchester. Then everywhere else in the UK and into mainland Europe. We will demonstrate the STRENGTH and RESOLVE of the European people, and their BRAVERY in resisting Sony's EVIL MACHINE. And we'll also say that it's too much money again and maybe do something about this story in which the president of Sony basically says Ken Kutaragi is a fuckwit.
This "last chance to order today" sign has been out for weeks. The collaborating SCUM at Virgin should be shot:
"Here is a picture of the hopelessly optimistic sign outside the Virgin Megastore on High Street Kensington. It was taken last Friday when I walked past on my way to Uni. It was up over a week before when I became the last person on earth to buy Animal Crossing: Wild World. It was up before that, when I got a copy of the DS Lite browser. I'm just listing this so you can have an idea of how much money I've spent NOT pre-ordering the PS3".
"When I went to pay, the guy asked me 'Had you considered pre-ordering a PS3?'. I replied, 'Only as some sort of nightmarish fantasy'. Let's face it, if you really want to beat up hookers with a baseball bat, Soho is only a 20 minute bus-ride away. The sign went up the day the PS3 was available for pre-order. I'm guessing that the main reason they haven't take it down yet is to save the trouble of having to put it back up the day before the PS3 is released".
CRUSHING THE PUNY FORCES
Tomorrow we will show you how Liverpool is rejecting PS3. Then Manchester. Then everywhere else in the UK and into mainland Europe. We will demonstrate the STRENGTH and RESOLVE of the European people, and their BRAVERY in resisting Sony's EVIL MACHINE. And we'll also say that it's too much money again and maybe do something about this story in which the president of Sony basically says Ken Kutaragi is a fuckwit.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
If we mock the enemy, we do not fear the enemy.
We got about 70 emails, and that's not including all the idiots who forgot to attach the file first time and then had to send it again with a slightly embarrassed apology.
THIS IS THE WINNER:
This is the winner:
We're hoping the winner might like our entire rubbish t-shirt range as a prize. That's over 45 pounds worth of old, slightly musty, unwanted stock! If you made this one, email us to claim your prize.
This one was nearly the winner. It's our personal favourite, but sadly there's an apostrophe missing. We're not rewarding someone for bad grammar. This is a harsh lesson.
This one should've been the winner too, but A-Team jokes are a bit '2005' right now.
Obviously we can't upload all 70, as that would immediately double the size of the internet and create massive logistical problems worldwide. Not to mention that about 40 of them were really rubbish.
SPECIAL COMMENDATION for putting in effort.
These are the runners up or runner ups, however you're meant to say that.
You lot don't win anything apart from a half nod of respect for at least trying. Thanks, everyone. We probably won't ever do anything like this again, as Hotmail's very rubbish when you get more than one email in a day.
We got about 70 emails, and that's not including all the idiots who forgot to attach the file first time and then had to send it again with a slightly embarrassed apology.
THIS IS THE WINNER:
This is the winner:
We're hoping the winner might like our entire rubbish t-shirt range as a prize. That's over 45 pounds worth of old, slightly musty, unwanted stock! If you made this one, email us to claim your prize.
This one was nearly the winner. It's our personal favourite, but sadly there's an apostrophe missing. We're not rewarding someone for bad grammar. This is a harsh lesson.
This one should've been the winner too, but A-Team jokes are a bit '2005' right now.
Obviously we can't upload all 70, as that would immediately double the size of the internet and create massive logistical problems worldwide. Not to mention that about 40 of them were really rubbish.
SPECIAL COMMENDATION for putting in effort.
These are the runners up or runner ups, however you're meant to say that.
You lot don't win anything apart from a half nod of respect for at least trying. Thanks, everyone. We probably won't ever do anything like this again, as Hotmail's very rubbish when you get more than one email in a day.
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Labels: WAR ON PS3
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