Let's start with the most realistic. Tired old woman pretending to join in. Podgy man. The child they finally conceived after five painful years of IVF treatment. The console they bought her because she's so special she can have anything she wants (she actually wanted a Wii).
Older man, two young boys. Woman in background pretending not to notice. Nothing says UNDERGROUND DUTCH PAEDOPHILE RING more than this.
Girls on left is playing with LIPS. Man on right is trying to get better look at girl's LIPS. Whichever Microsoft employee picked the name LIPS is going to find themselves put in charge of overseeing Excel development in Eastern Europe after this mess.
Never before have we wanted to be a ginger teenager.
He's moving in with the elbow. He's going for the Accidental Tits Elbow!
Accidental Tits Elbow with a twist! Sensational! There'll be semen everywhere in his bedroom tonight!
She noticed. Whoops. Now he won't be able to look at a girl again until he's 34.
Photograph taken from the graphic novel titled WHAT THE FUCK HAS HAPPENED TO MODERN VIDEO GAMING?
"Hooray! You both let me win because you want to try and have sex with me later!"
Now they have moved onto the casual quiz game.
Nobody knew the answer. It was in the cinema before they were even born, so it's not their sweet, young faults.
How unrealistic. That controller's not even plugged in. Terrible.
These photos are definitely meant for Europe. That's the most European selection of children possible.
By "European" we mean healthy and happy looking. English children sit there being fat and sad in official football shirts.
They're not leaning into each other enough.
That's better. That's ROCK AND ROLL, and, by extension, COOL MODERN VIDEO GAMES FOR ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE.
Frequency was ten times better, and you could sit down.
"...and you turn around, that's what it's all about - HEY!"
Now he's blown any chance he may have had by getting the steering wheel out and insisting they play Forza 2 for a bit.
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. JOKE OF THE DAY, SPONSORED BY SONY IF IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR NATASHA BEDINGFIELD... TOMB RAIDER GIRL IN LATE NIGHT HOTEL CORRIDOR SPYC... SONIC MERCHANDISE IS NOW IRONIC :( PHIL HARRISON CELEBRATES THE PHIL HARRISON YEARS ELSEWHERE ON "THE NETWORK" #00035 Wii APPEARS ON OUR RADAR FOR SEVERAL SECONDS
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
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FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
I'd the girl in the funky striped stockings though.
wtf kinda site is this, anyway?
How the tides have turned...
Unless Steve pulled a Bilal on me. In that case: Hi Steve, I'm Enn. Explain it to me.
http://store.digitalpraise.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=135
'ere, where's the bloody preview post button gone?
And yeah, bilal. Big fail. Arf
WTF kind of people are you?
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y152/z3ph/UKRbook1.png
Microsoft is turning into the new Nintendo.