WE HAD THE FORESIGHT TO SAVE THE TEXT
Want it from behind while you play Super Mario Brothers ? Age: 28
Date posted: Saturday 27th September
Location: Brighton
Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then.
You must know your way around the game before we meet, must be open to anal sex, also able to fake an orgasm is a plus.
I will send you the address to a hotel and a room number. When you arrive the door will be open. Please come in close and lock the door and close the shades if they are still open. I will be in the bathroom and the door will be closed. Turn on the TV and the Nintendo. Remove all of your clothing. Turn off all lights in the room and kneel down on the bed so you are directly in the light of the TV. You need to be facing the TV with your butt in the air pointed toward the pillows on the bed.
Press the start button on the controller when you are ready. I will hear the sound and turn the light off in the bathroom and come out. You will not look directly at me, only look at the TV. When the first level starts I will begin to finger you and lick you. I will be using lots of lube as well.
When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, "MORE", "HARDER", "YES", "FUCK ME", but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.
When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also orgasm. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your ass. You are allowed to say something like "OH GOD", "YES", OR "IT HURTS" no other conversation is allowed.
When level 1-4 starts I will alternate between holes as I see fit. You may beg me to cum inside or outside of you, depending on what you want. When boss falls and you reach the princess I will pull out and blow my load where you have convinced me I want too. You may then say something like "Thanks", "It was great", "I loved it", "Don't stop"
If I am impressed you may continue playing and I will continue to pleasure you. If I am not, I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom. At this time you may clean your self with the towel that is beside the bed. Turn the lights on, redress yourself and leave.
I may come back out and talk to you as you dress but the conversation will most likely be short and revolve around scheduling another time to get together.
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. UPDATE: ONE OF KEELEY HOLDING THE BOX LITERALLY UNBELIEVABLE SONY PR ERROR ELSEWHERE ON "THE NETWORK" #00044 LARA CROFT MODEL BEING INTERVIEWED BY A DANE AND G... EUROPEAN HARDWARE SALES FOR 2008 INTERNAL SEGA MERCHANDISE: AWKWARD TRIANGULAR DREA... A MAN'S TOMB RAIDER CROTCH SHOTS DREAMCAST LOGO SMEARED ALL OVER HOLLY WILLOUGHBY'S... KING'S ISLAND SONIC TOY HEAVEN THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
@Floppylobster - I think you have invented a new name there
Definition of dryreaching = faking a male orgasm.
"I must hear the fireworks" - along with 'I must have seen an even number of yellow cars on my way to the hotel, or I will throw a tantrum', 'we can talk, but it must be about dinosaurs' and who could forget 'my LBP level got deleted'.
She has to say OH GOD, YES, IT HURTS?!?! What woman ever says that?
word verification: vervall - a brand of lube?
I seriously hope that guy was joking does he really think any woman is going to show up for that!?
We all know girls don't play video games.
brighton homepage -> friends/dating -> casual relationships -> straight casual relationships -> want it from behind while you play super mario brothers?
I don't know what to write to finish that sentence off. I don't even know if it's a good idea.
"notene"
Been had...
"I may fly into the country and talk to you, then fly back out - but only to get your details to pass to my international fireworks, mushroom and ring fixated..er... ring"
People keep saying "woman", am I the only one who assumed the advertiser wanted a bloke to turn up and get his ya-ya's?!
"When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also orgasm. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your ass"
and
"When level 1-4 starts I will alternate between holes as I see fit."
Real or not this is a brilliant piece of writing that is thematically connected to the Lara peephole shots last month. There's something deep in the underlying motivation and expression of it that speaks to all game players and is very revealing.
Word verification : Promo (of, pertaining to, or involving the promotion of a product, event, etc.; promotional.)
That still doesn't clarify anything a mouth is a hole also yeah.
I'm tempted to do it and take the level skip to level 4 just to feel his cock go limp inside of me.
classic
Genius.