If we sell just twelve of these t-shirts we'll have made more profit out of PlayStation3 than Sony and all third-party PS3 software publishers.
To make room for this future unsold stock, we've made all our unwanted, wrong-colour stock of old shirts 12 quid each. There is only limited room in our t-shirt/bike/porn/hostage storage cupboard. Our apologies to the two people who bought one in the last month.
These new ones are 14 Mighty English Pounds each, and that includes postage, even if you live somewhere far away that costs three quid to send it to. You also get a free envelope customised with your address written on it, plus a label in the back of the neck of each shirt that conveniently tells you what size it is.
Here, we put two oranges inside the shirt to simulate what it might look like if a girl was wearing it. It wasn't very arousing, and just made 'things' seem worse.
If you work for Sony Computer Entertainment or Chart Track you can have one for free. Just email in from your work address, asking nicely, and saying that UKR is the best site on the whole internet, even including Pornotube and Torrentspy, and that it "brightens up your day" with its "accurate reporting of sales figures and public opinion".
This is pretty much just a vanity project so we have one to wear around the house. We're not expecting anyone to actually buy one.
AN EXPLANATION OF THE DESIGN
"RIP" is in an approximation of the PlayStation3 font, which means PS3/Sony is dead. "2007-2007" is the year PS3 was born and subsequently died in Europe. You know, like a gravestone. "United in Resistance" is just a thing we put on as it sounded nice and sort of linked back to the site.
The only downside we can think of this design is people might think you're viral-marketing Spider-Man 3, a film so bad it managed to travel back in time and rewrite history to make the first film rubbish as well.
Labels: ENTHUSIASM
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. LAST WEEK'S JAPANESE HARDWARE SALES FIGURES INSIDE SEGA'S AMAZING 'HI-TECH LAND' GIRL GAMERS STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND AN INTERVIEW WITH SUMO DIGITAL ABOUT VIRTUA TENNIS... JAPAN. NATION OF BRAVE SAMURAI WARRIORS AMERICA. LAND OF EVERYTHING APART FROM PLAYSTATION...
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
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FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
Yak yak!
Unfortunately, having a girlfriend also means I don't have £14 to spend on a t-shirt. Women are leeches like that.
syslmsta = A rastafarian system (poor i know i could be bothered to think of anythin smart)
blpfbzte: the sound your anus makes the morning after a large murghi massala, 2 peshwari naans and 12 pints.
Wear one in court
bemuf
Wear it in the bath.
And considering how anti sony this site is, I'd hate for them uk:r to get stomped. And an "approximation" won't wash as it is really rather identical.
So...maybe therefore it isn't an approximation and is the real deal.
Which then means Zorg could be in trouble for copyright infringement of something 'really rather identical'?
Quick - Someone buy them all to hide the evidence!
pcteez=Girl on webcam with T-shirt that fits
mnbfqhy - the last screams of a man being suffocated by breasts
btw, if anyone wants a free XL size Spiel Macht Frei shirt let me know, cos it's more like a smallish L in actual fact and Zorg won't give me my money back.
phistete: an expert at phisting.
rophyst: a date-rape aficianado
Buying a t-shirt off a website is always a risk. I bought an XL off chavscum.co.uk and it's just about right for someone 6'2" 180lbs. My friend bought a Megatokyo t-shirt and was branded a pariah forever.
tremcnyd: A town in the Rhymney valley where all the girls are called 'Gemma' and take it fudgeways
word verification:
oupba: a Yorkshire varation of football and basketball.
xzwthsm - a porn star sneezing immediately after a lengthy bukkake sequence.
nndjui: codename for the new sega console, it has 6 letters like katana and saturn.
i also got the sega vest. i can't wait for them!
pfmtxytw: hopefully the tracking number for the tshirts. but i bet ukr's cheap and uses 2nd class standard.
gits.
Or Zorg is in an alcohol induced coma from splashing out on the money all us gullible cunts sent. :)
If your girlfriend can't deal with your "obsessive hate" for Sony, then your worst issue is not that you have no money, is that you were born with mental retardation.
Yay, now for a summer of fanboi baiting and Sony Griefing.