17.58pm It's about to start!
18.00pm It's probably a bit late starting!
18.05pm It's probably started!
18.08pm Peter Moore is probably saying something about how great a start it's been for Xbox 360. Maybe he will take a sly sideswipe at PS3, while subtly advocating Nintendo Wii!
18.10pm The crowd is probably getting a bit bored now, and just wishing they'd show a trailer of Halo 3 or DoA Xtreme 2, instead of talking about how many people downloaded Cloning Clyde.
18.18pm If we were there, we'd be hoping some dancing girls dressed like Ulala take to the stage to herald the immediate availability of Space Channel 5 Part 3 on Xbox Live Arcade.
18.25pm At this point in procedings we tend to look down at our dictaphone to see that it has stopped recording. Or we forgot to start it recording in the first place. Oh well, we can always just rewrite everything from Eurogamer tomorrow.
18.32pm At this point we might have summoned up the courage to take a photograph!
18.40pm 40 minutes in, all the girls in the room should have been neatly categorised and given scores out of ten. This is always the most important part of any event.
18.50pm It's probably about to finish.
18.57pm It's probably finished! Time to head off to whatever event they have planned and be the most drunk person by miles within 30 minutes.
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW?
Each post .02% worse than the last.
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand.
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass.
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near.
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend.
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny.
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary.
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.