17.58pm It's about to start!

18.00pm It's probably a bit late starting!

18.05pm It's probably started!

18.08pm Peter Moore is probably saying something about how great a start it's been for Xbox 360. Maybe he will take a sly sideswipe at PS3, while subtly advocating Nintendo Wii!

18.10pm The crowd is probably getting a bit bored now, and just wishing they'd show a trailer of Halo 3 or DoA Xtreme 2, instead of talking about how many people downloaded Cloning Clyde.

18.18pm If we were there, we'd be hoping some dancing girls dressed like Ulala take to the stage to herald the immediate availability of Space Channel 5 Part 3 on Xbox Live Arcade.

18.25pm At this point in procedings we tend to look down at our dictaphone to see that it has stopped recording. Or we forgot to start it recording in the first place. Oh well, we can always just rewrite everything from Eurogamer tomorrow.

18.32pm At this point we might have summoned up the courage to take a photograph!

18.40pm 40 minutes in, all the girls in the room should have been neatly categorised and given scores out of ten. This is always the most important part of any event.

18.50pm It's probably about to finish.

18.57pm It's probably finished! Time to head off to whatever event they have planned and be the most drunk person by miles within 30 minutes.