In which nasty stupid children and parents blame everything on video games instead of, say, them being morons. It features such amazing lies as "kids don't go to school any more" and "it's more damaging than any chemical addiction" - and that's just in the first 50 seconds!
Amazingly, this was a proper TV show that went out on proper TV in the UK, not just a joke some disabled-looking fat people put together for YouTube. Poor old Sir Trevor McDonald used to present proper news, not just made-up rubbish for morons like this.
The only thing we'd trust that kid's mum to be in charge of is selling us some chips and a burger at 3.30am, and maybe cleaning our house, but only if we were there to make sure she didn't steal anything to fund the buying of whatever it is she's injecting.
In this one, some fat weirdo says he used to wee in a bottle while playing Xbox 360 and PS2 and Gamecube so he didn't have to stop playing. He had a chair with wheels on so he could switch between the three consoles! That's a great idea! We must get one of these 'chairs with wheels'.
In this one a woman says her kid went paranoid and mad because of a game and then killed himself. That's madness. It's OK to kill yourself over something important like postings on an internet forum, but not over something as trivial as a video game.
This was on TV two weeks ago, so we're really pleased with the speed in which we've turned this update around.
It carries on for half an hour. The above is the whole first ten minutes. Oh, and it would appear we are becoming one of those web sites that's just a huge list of links to YouTube videos.
This is the second ten minutes.
This is the final 2.35 minutes. YouTube won't let you do more than ten minutes at a time. It might get taken down when ITV sees it on there, so don't blame us if the link's broken when you're reading this in 2009. The joke's on us though, as we'll be in jail after being made an example of by the copyright police.
EMERGENCY LOW-RES BACK-UP When ITV does find out and makes YouTube take it all down because it's copyrighted material for which we don't own the rights or have permission from the owner to use, you can download the full file here. It's 27MB, so don't download it just for fun, else our internet will run out. We're not a cash-burning internet start-up, you know.