UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
Obviously we didn't go to the Tokyo Game Show, due to not being important, respected, liked, trusted, influential, reliable, popular or responsible enough. But we did the next best thing - we got someone who was going to take photos of all the identical little Japanese girl things!

As ever, we expected to get back maybe three unusable blurry photos taken from too far away using the most fashionable and very latest mobile phones. But no! Our 'anonymous source' totally delivered, saying he "felt like a right dirty old man at first but everyone's at it" and that "they're very forthcoming and don't mind posing at all. Especially the cosplayers. They just love showing off and flashing their bits for the camera".

Here's the meat:




If you think we're writing captions for 68 photos of girls with all the same smile you can go melon farm yourselves.














Six pictures in and the winner has already been revealed. You can go back to NewsNow or Kotaku, or wherever it was you clicked on this link.






We'd like to make a deposit in that lovely, soft bank.










If you click on these pictures you should be able to see a bigger version. We say should, as there's no way we're bothering to check that 68 links work.




Doesn't that thing she's doing with her fingers mean something rude? When we were at school it meant 'put your tongue in me'. Mind you, that was in 1967 and times have changed a bit since.
















This is the one we pondered over most. She's weird looking, but extremely cute. Under proper lighting conditions she could either be amazingly hot or all lopsided and geeky.




Too westernised. 4/10.




Too much like a character from an American PC MMORPG. 3/10.








What a lovely smile! This photo must've been taken within the first five minutes of the show doors opening, before her delicate, butterfly-like soul was STOMPED INTO SHIT by 50,000 geeks trying to get a photo when she's bending down.








This one turned out nice. Good sense of movement.








Getting one like that to consent is one of our ambitions.




Yes, there's still lots more. This is the halfway point.












We really should learn how to do that thing other web sites do, where they have a link that says "Read more" that goes to a second page. It would add an air of professionalism that would surely see us 'headhunted' by Kotaku or Joystiq so we could do this sort of thing for money.




At the moment we do this for aggravation and legal threats.
















Respect goes out to KOEI, for opting not to dress its booth girls in outfits influenced by fuedal Japan, and instead making them look like Asian prostitute robots from the near future.




More Asian prostitute robots from the near future. Roll on 2012!




Christmas, birthday, Christmas, birthday, Christmas, birthday, Christmas, birthday, Christmas, birthday, Christmas, birthday, Christmas, birthday.










This is a character from some Japanese game. It's probably quite close to how she looks in the game.






Oh dear. This photo really needed to be not blurry. Still, you can get quite a good idea.




Even Japanese women can't think of anyone else to cosplay as than Kasumi. The TGS organisers are banning Kasumis from 2007's show.










We'd really like to get our hands on that - then fold it up neatly and put it in the cupboard with all our other rare SEGA t-shirts.




PROPER JOKE CAPTION: Rockstar's Table Tennis has been redesigned a bit for the Japanese market!!





Sorry if you're on a capped broadband service. You've just used up all of September and October's allowance.














That's it. That's what happens to the "main page" when you put 68 photos on it. Hope you enjoyed it as much as we hated resizing everything and doing all the links.

Labels:

Blogger Vagus said...
I bow to your "image>image size" skills. If only I were set free on such events as TGS. Almost 53 woulds' from those pics.

Thank heavens for UKR on a slow news day (till 6pm)
Blogger tentonipete said...
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Blogger tentonipete said...
"This is the one we pondered over most. She's weird looking, but extremely cute. Under proper lighting conditions she could either be amazingly hot or all lopsided and geeky."


SHE'S EIGHT YEARS OLD!
Blogger oddity_ukr said...
good work zorg!

I was quite excited at the idea of the robot prostitutes. Maybe then I can create my own TGS without the games to distract me.
Blogger phorenzik said...
Would, on pretty much all of them. Except that ladyboy dressed as Rikku. Top marks Zorg.
Blogger nordelius said...
My eyes!!
Blogger JoeMDesign said...
http://www.ukresistance.co.uk/pics3/tgssmall/tokyogameshow49.JPG

Great Sony impression! Trying to pull some games out her arse!

Cool pics, thanks!
Blogger DaveP said...
ok, this has taken a great deal of consideration but...

Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Wouldnt Wouldnt Would Would Wouldnt Wouldnt Wouldnt Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Wouldnt Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Wouldnt Wouldnt Wouldnt Wouldnt Would Would Would Would Would Wouldnt Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would Would
Blogger RoboSel said...
I hope you all washed your hands before you typed those comments!
Blogger Matt Category said...
Good lord!

I will have to have a gander at those full size pics when I'm not at work.

And I will definatly have to wash my hands before/after/during that.
Blogger Tomleecee said...
Zorg, you clearly love your work. 10/10.
Blogger X-Toad said...
Zorg, that was by far your best caption work ever, especially the bit when you explain why youd do this site.

I now hate you a little less.
Blogger Sl1pstream said...
"SHE'S EIGHT YEARS OLD!"

That changes everything. No matter what lighting, she's a definite would.
Blogger bilal said...
just batch resize in paintshop pro. then it'll be one less thing to moan about (the other being the linking)
Blogger Starke said...
"tentonipete said...

"This is the one we pondered over most. She's weird looking, but extremely cute. Under proper lighting conditions she could either be amazingly hot or all lopsided and geeky."


SHE'S EIGHT YEARS OLD!
"

We all fuck kids, right?
Blogger phorenzik said...
8 is far too old. They start to get a bit gobby at that age. They also start going off sweets too, making them more difficult to kidnap.
Blogger jawa said...
but japanese girls arent ever gobby. yhey just giggle, do filthy things, and then cheese-wire your feet off.
Blogger phorenzik said...
ALL girls are gobby. You just can't understand the foreign ones. (LOL, I've seen Audition too).
Blogger system11 said...
See - now this is proper journalism, not like that game news crap being spouted by all the other news sources. A+
Blogger Dogmeat said...
If only Edge had stuff like this instead of incoherent ramblings by Brick Bardo or somesuch...
Anonymous japanese words said...
The pictures aren't showing up for me.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Are you sure this wasn't a paper bag marketing convention? Cause these are some of the ugliest asians I've ever seen.

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