Konnie WANTS that CoD4 guy. You can see it in her eyes. I'm jealous.

Why do you have such a thing for Konnie Huq?

Dear Ms. Huq,

To report a stalker, please call 0300-123-1212. If he is humping your leg right now, please hang up and dial 999.

These files are far, far too small. I can barely see her face properly, let alone her pores. Someone sort it out please? There must've been loads of pepperami there with 15 Mpixel SLRs...

I have it on good authority that Konnie is a total fuckin bitch .....

A slut shags everyone. A bitch shags everyone BUT you!

If anyone can define "relaxed Muslim", I would appreciate it.

It's a bit like "lapsed Christian", isn't it? It means you still sort of celebrate the holidays but don't really care about the rest of it.

I just want to know if she drinks wife beater or not.

Boo!

"TV presenter Fearne Cotton has raved about the benefits of giving up alcohol, which she did earlier this year, while Konnie Huq, Catherine Tate, Natasha Kaplinsky and Gwyneth Paltrow are all teetotal."

Yes, I heard Fearne Cotton had given up alcohol. Now she just does coke of black men's cocks and injects heroin into her pasty white arms. The filthy tart will do anything for a hit, apparently.

How do you mellow the edge off of coke and recover from a horse binge without a few rounds at the pub?

The pictures show that Konnie's years away from Blue Peter mean she has somewhat lost the art of not looking terrified while someone weird/disturbing is speaking to her.

Most of her face is correctly composed but her eyebrows are conveying faint dislike in the first image and abject horror in the second.

I also see from the second image that Konnie describes herself as a casual gamer. She can shake my Wii Remote up and down any time.

is that Pete Postlethwaites son in the top pic?

Did anybody see the BBC awards coverage? A bunch of nobheads throwing incessant superlatives at 'the flourishing gaming industry' and remarking on how 'it's the new thing' even though it's been around for decades, and despite their never having played a game because they were too busy finding out about what alcoholic drinks were the coolest and where pete Doherty got his hat from. Oh yeah, and Charlie Brooker was there too, who's of course awesome and really does love games.

Let's hope they treat gaming like a fad and just fuck off and divert their eagerly zeitgesit gazes toward something like 'urban carol-singing' or something, and just fuck off away from games forever.

I blame Wii for all this shit. Wii and their fucking trans-demographic urban lifestyle-facilitating fad feeding fuckery.

Fucking Wii.

BUT, Mario galaxy WAS completely brilliant in every way possible. It deserved that award, which incidentally, like every other award, not worth a thimble full of piss.

Also, Konnie Huq, yeah? I'd do something to her that rhymed with ehr surname alright, and she'd do something to my winkle that rhymed with her surname too, if she knew what was good for her.

Mario Galaxy is good but overrated. Very inventive, yes, but the play mechanics were WAY too uneven. It was the first Mario platformer I actually got bored of. A sad day.

Hey Zorg, when are you going to do more reviews like Ninja Gaiden 2, eh? Surely your obligations wouldn't conflict with a couple of light-hearted and thoroughly biased reviews? Hint: Resident Evil 5.

Dune coons.

I'm not on many lists for getting promo copies these days, I can't be trusted with preview code, and the thought of handing over upwards of £32.99 for a game from a shop fills me with sadness. I'll probably review OutRun Online, though, as long as it's less than 1200 Money Units.

Actually, can someone with Partnernet access say if OutRun is up yet? I can't be bothered switching all my cables around to check.

Apparently not.

Bothered/home help not around.

It looks like the afro-and-stupid-goatee-on-your-bottom-lip guy is suggesting something so ridiculously filthy that she is incredulous.

Honestly love, compared to what Zorg would do to you, a bit of Ass2Mouth with a game developer is nothing.

Needs more katty Hill

*Katy Hill ok yeah I spelt it wrong, I'm a dumb fuck, but what do you expect from reading this site.

Who is she? Im not from the UK and thus dont know who she is.

Regardless, full force in all orifices.

What do we expect from reading this site?

A decent grasp of the English language, that's what.

You may well be a 'dumb fuck', but not on account of UKR, sorry.

Next you'll be blaming high school shootings on Counter Strike.


@ Anonymous 2: Good to see that, in spite of not knowing who the heck Konnie is, you're still ready and willing to do what's necessary. God speed, old chap!


I still can't believe she spells it with a K. It should be Connie, not Konnie. It's like bloody Mortal Kombat all over again :(

http://www.befuddle.co.uk/drunkcelebs/konnie-huq/

I'll have the one with the brown nose