A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. EXCITING AND GARISH NEW TEMPLATE WITH ZERO NEW FUN... "HOMBRE SECUESTRA MUJER CON UNA LIGHT PHASER" A PHOTO OF AN EARLY-90s SONIC KEYRING TAKEN WITH A... TRANSSEXUAL LUCY LIU IS NOW OUT OF A JOB :( BREAKING: PLAYSTATION IMPLICATED IN "SKIN DISEASE"... IT SAYS "CAPCOM" AND "STREET FIGHTER" ON THE BACKG... DAVID JAFFE IS NOT AWARE OF THE BLUE SKIES IN GAME... THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
It's just great. My brain automatically strips off the bullshit and just hears him say "PLEASE GO VIRAL PLEASE GO VIRAL PLEASE GO VIRAL".
"guys" is good too. You can picture the exec who thought that this sounded casual and honest enough for people to trust it.
It has generated approximately the same amount of traffic as a 14 year old's Flash animation of their favourite anime characters having a fight would generate after being uploaded to Newgrounds.
Fantastic.
I know the comments on their YouTube channel are moderated, but they've actually managed to make them even more inane than the crap regularly spewed by the morons that comment on YouTube videos. Bravo.
So many of the comments are clearly Sony mouthpieces, and they are all fantastically cynical. The best one is from "musicdjay" (NO, REALLY!): "WOW, this is a really cool and original idea!"
Another good one is this: "Really descent but i would definately recommend refining it a bit. Like the creaking sounds maybe just dont do with vocals and do a vocal overdub ontop then just mute and put with some cheery background music :) Cause thats what PSP is all about :P" - Yeah, critique of the production really makes me believe that it's "real". You shot yourself in the foot by being unable to resist the stupid lifestyle marketing speech at the end.
How to spot a Sony shill account:
1. They purposely write like morons because that's how far they underestimate their customers.
2. If the profile has any videos on it, they will all be PS3 game footage vids.
3. The profile will be written like a terrible parody of whatever demographic they are trying to represent. e.g., "favourite music: Music: Coldplay, Foo Fighters". NOBODY LIKES COLDPLAY AND FOO FIGHTERS.
beekay2202 (2 weeks ago)
"have you guys made your entries yet?? "
a few days later beekay decides to post again:
"This is properly cool!!!!"
a week later the same man (I'm guessing it's the junior in the creative department that normally has to go and get everyone's frappuchinos from Starbucks)
"doh, i shouldnt have said anything as there is now more competition in the competition :( "
Then he answers another plants question of how do I upload my video
" dude, just go to the groups link that is just above the main video! "
It's award winning stuff. I wish I knew which ad agency was responsible, I'd like to go and work for them.
Here's some more Sony stoogies:
" Yo, Like, Im gona enter 2 !!!"
" cool channekl check out mine too"
" Bring it - prepare for my entry peeps..."
I'm going to think of something to post there...
I think I'm gonna be physically sick over a PSP, video it and upload as my entry. Or just sit here sulking. Yes, that would be more, let's see, what is it that the kids say again? Aah, yes, "more gnarly."
Also, achingly true observation about the loners on trains. I just realised that is the only time I've seen a psp outside of a shop.
WV: adrese. the french (and thus, wrong) way of spelling 'address'
I have a fire extinguisher in my 'den' (living room). My housemate stole it from university, although not during Freshers' week.
I really can't believe sony is doing this after the "all i want for xmas is a psp" debacle though - it's almost as if they want to totally destroy their brand. Who knows, perhaps Sega, instead of making any decent games for the last five years, spent the cash on infiltrating sony instead to bring them down from the inside.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/fun/gizmo/article2279209.ece
"It's just a shame not all the gamers at the other end of Xbox Live look like her though!"
CHRIST ALL BOLLOCKING MIGHTY! ARRRRRRRGH! I can't express myself on this topic any better than with primitive noises.
FUOUGALCKLAHCOKLOGGGGFUCKING HELL!
Jesus fucking Christ. These people exist for real too. I see them in the more affluent areas while out walking (to and from my less affluent area).
Why did I have to see this? I was feeling all warm and loving towards humanity after watching that around the world in 80 faiths programme but now I want to go on a violent purge of Notting Hill.
*zen*
Ohmmmmmmmmmmdeathtoposeursmmmmmmmmmmm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfH94lsE__g
There's also more fake comments to enjoy.
This is sooo very terrible. Maybe if I was 12 it would be gr8 and lolz, blah blah ... but aren't the kids smarter than this?
My Sony Shit-ometer has exploded. It can no longer measure how god awful they've become.