UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
It is quite a coincidence that T3 and Microsoft have tracked down the UK's "hottest Halo fan" a mere week before the release of Halo Wars.

Halo Wars publicity LIE SHAME

It's also quite a coincidence that she's got her own promotional Halo Wars vest top, plus the MAIN FOCUS of her Halo love seems to be Halo Wars which isn't even out yet.

Halo Wars publicity LIE SHAME

"Those have to be the hottest promo shots I've ever seen. A sexy brunette, cute little hot pants and a Halo Wars top - sexy as fuck. I pretty much creamed when I saw the pictures of her ironing and making tea. It's where the woman belongs" - Mike.

Halo Wars publicity LIE SHAME

Her "bedroom" also seems lacking in the usual accoutrements we've come to associate with the bedrooms of girls (from seeing them on television home makeover shows).

Halo Wars publicity LIE SHAME

It helps if you look at the screen. The screen tells you what's happening. It's not enough to just hold the controller and have the console turned on. That's not playing.

Halo Wars publicity LIE SHAME

But still. It's vaguely relevant and is of a girl. Here are some facts about Amanda which you can use to convince your mum & dad you have a girlfriend.

About Amanda:

Amanda Johnstone is 25 years old, lives in South London and runs her own event management company. She spends a lot of time away from home however when at home she likes nothing more than being snuggled up in bed with her Xbox controller, playing Halo to help take her away from her daily stresses.

Her good friend Sam introduced Amanda to the world of Halo 7 years ago when he launched his 'Halo club' nights at The Cross (Kings Cross, London) which all began as part of his passion for the game. She worked the door for three years and was also used as the 'face' to advertise the night. As she spent more time with Sam some of his infatuation with the game started rubbing off on her.

Amanda became more and more into Halo and was spending more of her evenings with the covenant as Master Chief, trying to save the world. This became an obsession, to a point where not only was she playing until the early hours of the morning on most nights over Xbox LIVE but started collecting Halo merchandise - from themed mugs and posters through to bags and figurines. She even sleeps with Master Chief every night under her Halo duvet cover and pillow case set.

Amanda's obsession doesn't stop here as she recently got herself a little pet Chihuahua and named him 'Chiefy'.

In 2007 she was also lucky enough to win tickets to attend the launch of Halo 3 where she walked the red carpet with Master Chief, Pharrell Williams, Christian Slater amongst other celebs.

"I have so much fun playing Halo and absolutely love getting on Xbox LIVE and getting better scores than a lot of the boys I regularly play the game with. I can't wait to get my hands on a copy of the new game Halo Wars."

When Amanda is not trying to save the world on Halo she is blasting out karaoke hits on Lips. Her favourite songs include Leona Lewis's Bleeding Love and Rihanna's Umbrella.
Blogger RangerBitch said...
Why has she got her posters stuck up like she's trying to cover wall space in Gamestation?

I wonder if I'll get any hits if I Google "Halo Club Nights at The Cross"
Anonymous Raff said...
I love the 'point of sale' style she's gone for.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Anonymous Anonymous said...
She's clearly about to pour boiling water all over the worksurface, and then to compound that schoolboy error she appears to be ironing that skimpy vest top directly ON THE PATTERN which may explain why her iron's so dirty.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Anonymous Anonymous said...
"Halo at the cross"? It must be true, there's a poster above her bed! If indeed it's her bed; it looks more like one of those display booths at HomeBase.
Anonymous GigerPunk said...
Unsure about the homebase booth theory -In the first picture there appear to be reflections of a ceiling lightshade and possibly stuff on an opposite wall? Still not proof it's actually a room rather thna set of some kind but it's something anyway.

Good point on the homeworking skills though.
Nice tits are one thing, but basic things like being able to make a cup of tea and iron a shirt are what elevates someone from 'locked in basement' to 'being allowed to roam the house'.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I think they got the wrong Amanda Johnstone.. I just google image'd her..

Looks more like ya typical Halo player.
Blogger Multiverse said...
I bet she goes like a warthog. I'd make it my mission to destroy her halo ring, with my chopper, while grunting like a brute. She'd be screaming like a banshee at this point, and eventually she would succumb to my flood.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Ptcha! She is clearly more at home in the kitchen than the bedroom. Probably just keeping the controller warm for her boyfriend, whos geeky studio it is.

Although I hopefully imagine her boyfriend is called Kevin, and weighs 8 stone, and would stay unconcious long enough for me to plow his mrs' arse with my fat cock.
Blogger Gutter Press said...
Id give her some "Bleeding Love"....
Blogger AT said...
Wouldn't. Simply because in the first photo her feet look like they should belong to Shaquille O'Neal. And I draw the line at birds that have bigger feet than mine. She'd only end up occasionally wearing my shoes and stretching them out and shit.
Anonymous AK said...
What a lot of fabricated, pointless bullshit. Marketing cuts.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
OMFG!!!! I've just seen those feet.. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY? They're just wrong!! I bet she shaves them. She looks the hairy sort.

WV - mendu ... Yes, I'm sure some do. I've never shaved my feet
Anonymous sarah said...
Did anyone else see this ?!!
Anonymous Anonymous said...
This article needs no text.

It's like when the Sun has a page 3 girl comment on a major socio-economic event. WTF?

Pictures = great!
Text = blahblahblahblahblah*

*Only exception is if Amanda is talking about the Sega Saturn's superior rendering of 2D environments compared to the PS1.
Blogger Joe said...
I can't understand why that first photo has be 'shopped to make her legs looks longer (and incidentally made her feet look way too looooooooong). Do Halo lovers have a pre-disposition towards girls with extraordinarily long legs?
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I have an alarm clock and a torch on my bedside table.

I realise what a fool I've been. I'll be off to Curry's tomorrow for a Samsung 28" bedside telly.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
"his 'Halo club' nights at The Cross (Kings Cross, London) which all began as part of his passion for the game"

King's Cross? He's a passion for something alright and it ain't playing bloody Halo! Only one male occupation springs to mind when the words "organising" and "King's Cross" come together!
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Amanda, Halo devotee and Foot Sex performer of the year. Imagine the tricks she can do with them toes.

I think this site will become awash with podophiles after seeing that first image.
Anonymous Adolph Homodude said...
Why does this type of thing make me want to kill people rather than buy Halo? Surely that's the opposite of the desired effect. And if you were dumb enough to be influenced by this type of fucking shit, wouldn't you already have Halo?

Who are the people that were holding out until this pile of intelligence stomping faeces came along? They need to be executed for the good of the human race.*

Imagine meeting her in a club (I believe that is where one would mee this type of person), going back to hers and seeing that bedroom. I would honestly be put off. I would still go through with it, just staggered for a few seconds.

*Am aware that was Nazi policy and it was a joke.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
would give red ring of death
Anonymous Dave Muk said...
First pic... Look at the size of her feet! They're massive!

This could explain her need to play halo lots as going outside the comfort of her home with feet like that is likely to attract staring and verbal abuse.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
She hasn't got big feet, they're just used a fish-eyed lens to fit in as much Halo Wars crap as they can and hide the massive dildo she keeps under the bed for those lonely nights. The more important question is why two pink towels appear under the television in one shot but not the other. Were they used to wipe away the sweat from the desperate lonely sex she had with the photographer. Being a Halo nerd they would have been the first person she's had contact with in months and so she most likely threw herself at him (possibly her?), then made them a cup of tea afterward. It's probably a her, because she irons another tight top for someone to put on before they do it again. And again, and again.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Although I am a massive Halo fan I am also aware of the shameful lows marketing people will go to to shift mediocre franchise draining video games to nerdy singles. That said I now love that girl and I do very much want to marry her.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Oh and its obvious she doesn't know what she's doing cos she's just fired up the first level of Halo3 campaign and her AR only has 1 round left in it. Reload woman! Always reload!!!

I still love her though, but we will have to have a "talk" about this. By "talk" I probably mean "shag", and by "shag" I mean wank on my own looking at her picture. Woo Halo!
Anonymous Bluumi Bolokov said...
It's not a fish-eye lens, just a regular wide angle, probably Sigma 10-20mm. I can't be arsed to check the exif data for it.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I like how the photos show her cooking and doing laundry, truly the perfect woman.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I knew that but I couldn't be arsed writing it. No one gives a shit about photography on this site anyway.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I'd like to blast out some "karaoke hits" on her lips.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Jackie Cooper and Robert Phillips would be turning in their grave if they were dead - I hope they're squirming in their chairs at the very least.

That is the laziest, most cringeworthy God-awful PR story I've seen in a very long time.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Is it just me or do her feet and hands look very man like?
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Typical girl gamer. In the first picture her gun is foolishly only armed with one round and she's about to exact a feminist revenge upon that man's knackers. This is the battle between aliens and generic US Marine paradigms, love, not the battle of the sexes.

There's only one 'gun' this bag of meat should be playing with, and incidentally, that only produces one shot too, right between the eyes.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Only a delusional, sexless Xbox fanboy would ever believe that a girl's bedroom looked like that. It's just impossible that a woman could cultivate a bedroom like that, and a fucking good thing too! Gamer's den's are the starting block of the sexual odyssey; sweaty, jizzy, revolting, but women's bedroom's are sacrosanct, idyllic avalon's, to which every earthly man aspires. Getting to a girl's bedroom that looked like this would be like de-evolution.
Blogger SMEGHaMMeR said...
Whats the point in having a chick advertise halo, when we all know it's only gay men that are into it. Gay men, who, can't operate a real, red-blooded man's shooter, with a keyboard and a mouse...

Error 1.

Error 2 - You can't get a 28" samsung telly from currys. You can get a 26 or a 32 but there's nothing in between, the government won't allow it.

Error 3 - I over reached myself at error 3, but i will say that all of this is just one big error. The kind of error that makes me wanna vomit faeces.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
i would love to play with her halo
Anonymous Anonymous said...
im going to post this on themousepad (a foot fetish website), they will love that first pic
Anonymous Anonymous said...
this is so much bullcrap. there's no comfortable way to even look at that tv from the bed.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
i wouldn't be surprised if someone payed her to take those pictures
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I'd love to wrap those gigantic feet around Master Chief, my penis.
Anonymous Koira said...
oh my god you cunts! how dumb are you? Her legs arent long and the pic is not shopped... the pic is just taken using a wide lens
Anonymous Anonymous said...
this girl fine as hell need to get her gamertag and spit some game cause if she looking for a guy that look like t.i. i'm that dude....
Anonymous Anonymous said...
@smeghammer, i have to admit, i do miss the keyboard and mouse interface since giving up on pc gaming. such wonderful precision! the joypad beats the shit out of the keyboard/mouse interface for 180 turning though, that's invariably shit with the mouse/keyboard. as for halo, it's fucking insipid SHIT and that's all there is to it.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
she has nice t1ts.
Blogger colin said...
Wouldn't. She's not a real Halo fan. She's an ex-stripper (for as long as Microsoft keeps her in coke and cat food) pretending to like something she has never heard of. Strippers all have two things in common.
1)They are contagious.
2) They are so tired and uninterested in sex they are worse in bed than fat chicks who need it.

My wife may not have a room full of Halo posters, but she will at least play Sonic 2 once in awhile and won't stab me to get money for her next fix.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I believe Amanda is really a robot. It's what Microsoft have been ploughing the profits from the Zune and Viva Pinata into. They want to stop blokes from leaving the house all day so they'll sit at home eating, drinking and playing the 360.

We truly are entering a Stepford / Westworld future. But the evidence is clear guys.

1. Tea making (with a smile)
2. Ironing. The programmers just need to correct the 'iron the pattern' bug
3. The Feet. So huge, it was the only place to hide 3 car batteries.
4. The love of Karaoke ... the young women I meet only seem to love WKD.

I call robot on this one.

(eg )

arm yourselves boys. It could get nasty.
Blogger Henke said...
DUDE! I'd kill for a 1080p wallpaper of this!!
Blogger SMEGHaMMeR said...

Fair enough but i cud do a 900 on my mouse before u even came close to doing a 180 on your pad.

My special move is a 360 headshot, whilst flying thru the air at 700 units per second. With a railgun, crossbow or whatever other substitute for that kind of thing u can find. Add smeghammer on steam, give me a shout, and i will show you things that they wouldn't allow you to see in console land.

my word veri : apair...

make what u want of that.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
had good laugh here

she looks nice, she can play halo with her back to the TV, thats a trick I see for the first time.

btw, whats HALO?
Blogger colin said...
Anonymous said:
btw, whats HALO?

Halo: (Noun) a videogame played primarily by 12 year old racists who believe themselves to be "hardcore." In this "hardcore" game, if you die you respawn three inches from where you died, and if you duck for a couple seconds all you health comes back. Antonym: Space Harrier
Anonymous Anonymous said...
It's grown men like smeghammer that worry me the most. They should have to sign a register.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
So many bloody idiots commenting on pic #1.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
If she's such a huge Halo fan, why are there only Halo Wars merch? I'd expect to see stuff from CE, Halo 2 and hell, Halo 3.

Seems that it was just all a prop to get more guys hoping they'll come across her randomly on Xbox Live.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I'd come across her randomly on Xbox Live
Anonymous Anthony woodley said...
Well dudes, if she's a halo fan, it's her choice.
she's hella hot though.

i don't mind big feet. :)
(i strangly think it's hot =/)


if i DID come across her, i wouldn't care. =P

it's only the geeky dudes that would actually give a shít =P

You dudes need to stop fucking complaining,
because lets face it.


i used to know loads of "girly girls" That play that and COD 4 (Now 5)


Girls do like those games.
only statistics say most don't.

peace dudes.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
She has the longest feet ever
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Anonymous Anonymous said...
in the 1st pic she has no pants on look at her butt
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