UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
EXHIBIT A: The high. A man called Dan Bull doing a superb Streets-style history of video gaming via the medium of rap music. We DEMAND the offices of THE NATION ring out to this today.

The only shame is his over-reliance on PS2 games in verse three. Saturn and Dreamcast don't get a mention.

EXHIBIT B: The low. "Why The DREAMCAST is NOT BETTER Than the PS3, Wii, and Xbox 360."

"Zeek" and "Freshnut Promotions" who have the time to find stuff like this. The latter probably because it's their job.

You can use this for free in a remix, if you're reading this, Dan.
It's 1997 then.
I stop masturbating over FHM and pick up a magazine called SSM.

That's SEGA Saturn Magazine, the world's greatest gaming fanzine.
Devoted to SEGA while completely ignoring the burgeoning PlayStation scene.

I chipped my Saturn at great expense, my Sony-loving friends thought it didn't make sense.

"What you doin wiv that Saturn? You wanna bin it! Sony's got all the best games on it, innit!

They don't know that Saturn is where the fun starts - and lasts and lasts and lasts. In fact, SEGA Saturn is better than the sum of all PlayStations component parts.

Then came Dreamcast.

Oh my god. Sega Rally 2. The NTSC version as the PAL conversion was poo.
Easy left, baby! K-right! Slow down! I'm crying with happiness so much that I might drown if I lie down!

I buy Japanese games for sixty a pop quid from dodgy import shops.
I know it's a waste of money but I just can't stop.

They'll be out in the UK eventually.
But waiting three months for Jet Set Radio doesn't make much sense to me.

I've got to have the games immediately.
I don't care if they're in Japanese, I'll just have to work their controls remedially.

My VMU batteries have died, but it still saves my game.
Between me and you, that's the sort of bravery we associate with the Dreamcast name.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Zorg rapping.

Today, my friends, UK:R has hit a new low. Score!
Blogger Steve said...
If that was my child I'd drown it.
Blogger Badben said...
Discovering how extremely STREET Zorg is has come as a bit of a shock. I'm scared.
Anonymous Enn said...
I don't think rappers "associate". Not sure, it's not my scene. I'm white as fuck, after all.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Still not
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Re: buying importing - you'd have thought with the advent of an American console (Xbox), would open up new and wonderful possibilities for import gaming; Alas, nowadays we must wait six months or more after something is released even in the UK in case it gets recalled for being a piece of faulty junk. That's why I never buy straight away, you have to let it settle first. Buying a console's a a bit like a pint of Guinness these days, you've just got to wait for a bit. I suppose you're alright for games though.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Wow, rapping! Now thats cool!...............HAhahahahahahaha
Blogger bilal said...
A new low? A new high, more like! Someone please rap this and stick it on YouTube. Please.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Marker's comments: The erratic stanzaic meter and rhyme structure throughout shows a radical poetic ingenuity on your part, Zorg. This is a poignant and wistful example of a commendable nostalgic ode, and the narrative chronology is intact and engrossing. Good work!


See me for further enquiries.
Blogger Cmdr_Zorg said...
I actually made a little backing track and started recording a video of me "rapping" it. Then the batteries on my camera died halfway through.

If only battery technology was a little more advanced.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Blogger Apples and Oranges said...
What a retard kid. It's no wonder the game industry is in it's dumps right now, with only some exceptions. I've already expressed my rage too. He should have more rage.
I like the poem. Keep them coming.
Anonymous Flesh Prints said...
Oh my fucking ball bags.

It's not April 1st already is it?

Anonymous Anonymous said...

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