A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. SONY HAS ANOTHER GO AT RIPPING OFF Wii DREAMCAST-LIKE LOGO UPDATE FOR THE MONTH OF APRIL RIGHT SAID FRED AND SOME OF SEGA'S MARKETING MONEY... SEGA UFO CATCHER ERROR MESSAGE SCREEN EIDOS DID A SPOOF OF "THE OFFICE" IN 2004 FAT KID WITH ENERGY DRINK BUYS NEW CONSOLE INDUSTRY NEWS: HARALDUR THORVALDSSON IS GROWING OU... THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF 'FLAG MAN' THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
If they're going to be sexist they may as well do it properly. Chop-Chop! Let's see pictures of them in their underwear, Ubisoft.
So that's the next week of evenings filled, any other time filling suggestions appreciated.
I would say I've lost respect for Ubisoft but given that they're the new EA it would imply I had some in the first place...
Back OT: going clockwise from Anne-Marie: Wouldn't, Wouldn't, Would, Would, Wouldn't, Would (if she cheered up a bit), Wouldn't.
Word verification: cavinge. Too easy, surely?
just a suggestion....
Egg Monroe comment = awesome, thank you :)
So for me it's either Debra or Krystal.
I'm not saying I'd enjoy it, but it's a voting system that as far as I'm concerned would pick the right candidate.
They don't even get that much publicity any more because contrary to popular belief, teenaged boys do not like being patronised by transparent marketing strategies. If one wants to see naked women, there is no need to visit a videogame site.
And no one gives a shit what these bitches think anyway, once you ejaculate they can fuck right off. A photograph can't make you a cup of tea.
I love the anonymity of the Internet. You can say things you don't even agree with.
and to think they said she was older.
Why do they all have annoying voices? Infact, why do all Americans have annoying voices? If you're an American and you have a voice, FUCK OFF AND DIE. I've rated these on hotness/least vocally annoying:
Carolyn - wins because of gratuitious down the top tit-shots and because she looks like the puppet from dark crystal.Jessica
Arielle - seems like a complete hipster, opinion-changing mac-using dick. But she's cute.
Lani.
Sasha - Hot chink? Sweet.
Hannah - Let down by lame punk.
Brenna.
Tunesha - I'm not racist
Zorg
LOLZ!!!
But seriously, I did steal it off the Internet.
wv: unbrat - the short name of the process 'unbratification'. Usually involves removing PSP from spoilt 13 year olds and sending it to an Albanian orphanage.
Now... I dreamed a dreeaaaammmm of time gone byyyyyyyyyeeeeee
Carolyn for the win. Everyone vote for Carolyn.
*fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap*
Anne Marie - Wouldn't. Looks older than many women on those 'milf hunter' websites, would likely fill your house with Laura Ashley furnishings and sink her claws in before you realized it.
Brenna - Would. Will probably fuck you like she'd just got out of prison, and she'd keep her glasses on for your glasses fetish. Looks like she enjoys a drink to 'loosen up'.
Debra - Would. Somehow manages to pull of the 'straight fringe' without looking stupid. Enormous cheeks ensure large capacity for spunk or acorns. Funny looking in a cute way.
Vanessa - Wouldn't. Anne Marie's sister? Will likely age badly. Unpleasant nipples (probably).
Krystal - Would. Last seen on 4chan wearing nothing but stripey emo socks and shoving a magic marker up her ass, Krystal is the top choice here.
Sarah - Wouldn't. Still recovering from 'her' transgender surgery, and facelift to 'make my jaw all huge like Natasha Bedingfield'.
Lanai - Would. Indian birds take it in the can - trufax. Plus you can smack her around a bit if the cat tikka masala she's about to make isn't the right shade of red. As Scott Lee quite rightly pointed out, Lanai backwards is I ANAL.
Can I have Carolyn and Arielle to go, with a side of Sasha atop the bed of Tunesha? Thanks.
WV: Proplazi - Lanai's more 'experienced' sister. Word games in their family, in this case another descriptive word: I prolapz
Brenna would do, but there's the danger that, at the point of no return, you'd look down and for one ghastly second think that you're knocking off Kieron Gillen.
At first I thought it was perhaps decorative art in an artistic representation of the Ubisoft 'vortex' logo; however on closer inspection, it appears the swirls go in the opposite direction.
Great update Zorg.
Reasoning: Vixens are foxes, foxes eat chickens, male chickens are cocks, ergo, VixXen has to eat cocks in order to live.
As long as she doesn't use her teeth and lets me borrow her knickers every now and then, she's got my vote.