A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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When men used to till the pages by hand. |
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Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
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It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
Does anyone remember the 'Where's Waldo' game on the megadrive? I believe Mean Machines awarded it about 9%. It only had about 6 levels and a crap minigame. If it was made in flash today it would be blammed from Newgrounds within 5 minutes..
So following what felt like years of that Sonic Rush was nice. Oh and this book should totally be made into a £20 DS game. And Ubisoft should probably make it. And call it Wherez Sonicz.
But... fun? With Sonic Rush? I bought this filthy piece of software a few weeks back and was utterly disgusted by how it spit into the face of everything that made Sonic great in the first place. Ditching old standards such as large, explorable levels with many routes, the satisfaction of actually achieving speed by yourself (and not via crappy boost moves or speed pads everywhere) amongst other things for horribly designed, linear, nearly on-rails levels, useless moves and just as pointless as embarrassing dialogues, screwed up physics (you no longer accelerate when rolling down hills) and numerous other major flaws, it's a dull, ugly, soulless roller-coaster ride that doesn't even deserve to carry the name of "Sonic" (just like a lot of other recent games starring the blue hedgehog, unfortunately...).
+ £2.75shipping
or
£0.01
+ £2.75shipping
Gonna order one of them of Amazon :)
Unfortunately it's in London and I am not, so selling it is out of the question. That, and I don't think I could part with something so unabashedly awesome.
...maybe SEGA only released Shadow to make Rush look good?
Also wow, I just noticed the pun in this update's title. Awesome.
None of these 'which Sonic game is marginally less shit than the other shit Sonics' arguments. I've even heard half-decent things said about the Shadow the Hedgehog game ffs, if that isn't scraping the bottom of the barrel, I dunno what is.
You lot can keep your Sonic Rush. I played it way back when and thought it was crap. I preferred Sonic when the only emotion you could get out of him was to stand him at the edge of a platform and watch him wave his arms like a big spaz. Nowadays you can't shut the little blue bugger up :(
Of course, if you genuinely DO like Sonic Rush in spite of the alternative crap Sonic games, then that's just fine.
But as long as I have the means to play the old Sonic games, I couldn't give two shits which direction they take Sonic nowadays. They can stick him up Yu Suzuki's arse if they wanted to. Maybe they'll find Shenmue 3 up there.
P.S. I got a little Sonic book from Japan for about 500Yen or some equally rip-off price. It's quite nifty and has the layouts for all the stages so you can see where the rings are, but not a patch on this Where's Sonic gem.
*looks for Sonic*
Drat.
As such, even IF Sonic Unleashed turns out to be not a complete stinking turd, it's still going to lack the awesome, chequer-block style of the original games. I don't want to go to fucking Greece, I want my Green Hill Zone. If I wanted to see Greece, that's what Google Image Search is for. Aside from looking up "tentacle porn tits."
And what's with the boring, generic robot designs in Sonic games these days? This book is filled to the brim with Buzzbombers, Crabmeats and Coconuts. Y'know, the ones that you'd dispatch in a puff of smoke, and then follow the stupid bouncing rabbit or penguin until it lemminged into a pool of lava or something.
SORT IT OUT.
Postage & Packing: £13.88
Exchange rate: $22.11
Most expensive penny item I'll ever buy. The U.S. Amazon.com site has it for $40, so it still works out cheaper for my Sonic books to waste more gas getting to me.
I'd definitely drop a few bucks on it. Like 10$ max. Even though I have sonic Blue walls and about 3 posters of sonic up and a 6' Tall standee from Sonic Adventure 2. Somehow i'm hesitant to buy that. Even though the artwork is absolutely amazing and celebrates the BEST sonic game levels.
Actually... I have the entire collection of Sonic Ladybird books from back in the day. Yipe.
I have the colouring book but I.. well, coloured it in :(
PS. Sonic Rush and Sonic Rush Adventure are fantastic games, you vagabonds!
did...did bryan just claim that most sonic games were bad?
oh i get it. i get jokes.
-koval-
p.s. what's with you brits changing it to "where's WALLY?"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Where%27s_Wally
It's a book for children. That happens to have Sonic on. A Sonic that's spouting horrendously forced 'hip' language. An unashamed ripoff of Where's Wally. Grown men should not get excited about this kind of thing.
So why did I just fucking buy one? I CAN'T AFFORD NEXT MONTH'S RENT.
Fuck you guys.
Okay, I've got two of the Aventure Gambooks (not to be confused with this: http://www.gamebooks.org/show_series.php?id=287 , an entirely different series), one of the puzzlebooks, Sonic the Story (an origin book, similar to the Fleetway comic origin/Stay Sonic/That one in Disney magazine), Robotnik's Oil (short story).
That leaves one puzzle book, The Invisible Robotnik and the Colouring Poster book.
You bought them all, you CUNTS.