UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
A crack undercover reporter braved being labelled a nonce by taking photos inside an arcade for us! This is probably the first time anyone has seen photos from inside the Brighton Sega Park, and judging by how deserted it looks, only about the 100th time anyone's ever been inside it at all.

Our reporter wrote some captions, and we wrote some others. See if you can guess who did what in today's interactive writing-style-recognition quiz! (CLUE: rape/paedo/murder/dying alone references = probably ours).

SEGA PARK BRIGHTON, IN PHOTOS:



Tekken 5's shit! Look at how blurry it looks! Ha ha! Stupid Namco/Sony!




THOUGHT PROCESS OF PHOTOGRAPHER: "UKR likes OutRun2, so I'll take a photo of OutRun2. They'll like that and then probably won't call me a twat."




Well-worth spending your dole money on. Support third-world slave labour, organised crime and impress your homeless life partner.




Mega Boxe appears to be some spinning/gambling cat-scan hybrid. It will no doubt give you some kind of incurable cancer.




A giant claw, always potential for misuse and so many opportunities in Brighton. Animals in captivity - never pleasant.




Apparently Brighton is full of hippies, students, and ex-students who can't be bothered to leave. Hence we didn't go there ourselves, and the only way we would go would be to contaminate the water supply with something bought on the former-Soviet Union blackmarket.




Can't really tell what this is meant to show and if we're supposed to be impressed by it or not. It's hard being funny about other people's holiday snaps.
Blogger Hamstermemnon said...
YEAY, I thought that last thread had stalled the site, preventing any new ones


the bottom picture shows just how considerate sony/namco are of our health, they have supplied a joint holder for each player
bless them
shame they didnt add a needle steriliser
Blogger igl said...
VERSUS TV STILL SUX
Blogger Hamstermemnon said...
lol
i still wish they would
Blogger Hamstermemnon said...
and if you are interested ladies
go past zorgs place, up to the next services, turn right, go about 17 miles, take first exit at McD's round about and the 5th turning on the right.
mines the one with the big wheel in the front garden
Blogger Hamstermemnon said...
p.s. those instructions rely on my distintly amatuer stalking of zorg being success.
mind you i haven't been arrested or accousted yet so...
Blogger Starke said...
Isn't "Tekken" synonymous with "blocky, slow arse rape"?
Blogger CreamyRabbit said...
OMG!!! those Zippys and bungles are SOOO CUTE!

Ah the good ole' days

http://www.thebubbleburst.co.uk/files/twangers.ram
Blogger eightfivezero said...
Is this battletoads?
Blogger Halverde said...
Wait, Tekken in a Sega Park?

This is like finding your sister in bed with your mortal enemy, but even worse because it involves Sega :(((
Blogger charliemouseuk said...
Try visiting Namco Station in London; they're hording all the Sega arcade games that don't live at the Trocadero (why the hell they got rid of the R-360 I'll never know, not that I've ever asked).

They've all got phosphur-burnt screens for that authentic arcade-disapointment feel. There's a maccy's next door so there are plenty of fat kids to mock too.
Blogger Starke said...
We all fuck fat kids, right?
Blogger Bas said...
Fat kids are easier to kidnap.
Blogger only777 said...
Hey, When I was about 14 (back in 1994) I went to that Sega Park, I wonder if they still have that Sonic Roller ball coin-op. Apart from that I got a Proper Japanese Robotnic toy (which I still have) and the other main draw was the 8 player Outrunners machine which I've still only ever seen there.

If Tekken 5 is the most intresting thing there I guess the Sonic coin-op is well gone....shame.

only777.com (I know stuff about games that you dont!)
Blogger mrplow said...
i must have spent about 40 quid on ghost squad when i became trapped at Butlins some time ago.

got me through a seriously difficult time, thankyou SEGA.
Blogger Richie said...
Those Disembodied Zippy/Bungle/George characters disturb me greatly! Was your undecover agent Geoffrey from Rainbow? He cant have much else to do nowadays...
Blogger Kempo said...
"Hey, When I was about 14 (back in 1994) I went to that Sega Park, I wonder if they still have that Sonic Roller ball coin-op. Apart from that I got a Proper Japanese Robotnic toy (which I still have) and the other main draw was the 8 player Outrunners machine which I've still only ever seen there.

If Tekken 5 is the most intresting thing there I guess the Sonic coin-op is well gone....shame."

I'm sure the one in Brighton has only been there about 5 or 6 years, they made it the same time as the Burger King next door when that whole bit above the Sealife Centre was done up.

I remember because I was well excited when it became the Sega Park, then I actually went in and all my hopes and dreams died there on the spot.
Blogger Tomleecee said...
The cunt playing Tekken is wearing a Fedora.

The term 'cunt' is therefore totally justified.
Blogger only777 said...
Naw that sega park as been there longer than that, ask Zorg. His mate Richard Leadbetter done a feature in Sega Magazine and that was before the saturn came out.

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