UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
A man saw Sonic badly painted on an ice cream van, and like one of daddy's bravest and most favourite little soldiers he got out his camera, or phone, or one of those new 'cameraphone' hybrids that probably also has MP3 ringtones, and took a photo of it just for us and you.

This is it!

That's one hedgehog who can't be licked!!!

Then, like a very very GOOD BOY, he actually wrote some fan fiction based on his encounter! This is awesome. More people should send us photos and the subsequent fan fiction they inspire. Textbook reader submission. A+


By Matt Smith

"Look! It's Sonic!" shouts the innocent six-year-old girl. "Sonic and ice cream!"

Off she runs towards the blue hedgehog's arms, blissfully unaware of the approaching danger while mummy's back is turned. She can hear the sweet synthpop beats of Green Hill Zone playing in her mind. "Do do do do do do do do doooo. Do do do, Do do do, Dooo Dooo!"

But it's not over-priced, no-brand-name ice cream she's going to get. It's far, far worse than that.

"Can I have a Cornetto?" she asks the evil, evil man.

"Why certainly little girl." The evil man replies as he goes to his freezer.

"Oh what a shame", he says. "I am afraid they are all gone."

The little girl looks down at her little orange shoes and sobs.

"But if you come into my van I am sure we can find something together!" the evil man replies.

Without thinking she smiles and says "OK!"

The man opens the door. She climbs inside and at first everything seems normal. "Why don't you have a look inside the freezer?" The man suggests with a rather large grin on his face below his circular glasses and orange moustache.

The little girl is feeling uneasy. She begins to realise her mistake. She slowly walks over to the freezer and takes a look inside...

'What is this?' She thinks to herself. 'It looks like robot parts and...'

"NO!" She screams!

"MUHAHAHAHA!" The man laughs as he rips off his fake apron and hat.

"It's... It's... YOU!"

"That's right!" He bellows. "It's me, Dr Robotnik! And you have fallen right into my trap, Cream!"

"What do you want!" She shouts.

"Why, a hostage of course! With you in my clutches I know Sonic will bring the Chaos Emeralds to me!"

"You're crazy Robotnik!" Cream cries. "Sonic's gonna rescue me and stop you once and for all!"

"MUHAHAHAHA! We'll see about that!" he shouts. And with that he handcuffs her to the freezer, starts the engine and speeds off far away into the distance, his evil theme tune music menacingly playing through the ice cream van's speakers.

By this, we mean please write some stuff about Cream getting raped and then starting to enjoy it and then getting covered in spunk (ours, not your lumpy old muck) in the comments section.


Blogger logophony said...
I guess the moral of this story is theres a litte bit of Robotnik in all of us and a bit of all of us in Cream.
Blogger ducky said...
In a whirr of machine noise and smoke, Robotnik's evil Ice cream van launches into the air.

"Ahh!" Cries Cream, being flung back onto a box of ice creams, getting covered in the cold white ooze.

Starting to sob, she pulls at her handcuffs with no luck. Then she spots a sharp edge on one of the vans walls.

"Doo doo doo" Robotnik hums, listening to his theme tune. In the back, Cream is falling over and over, sliding in melted ice cream, her clothes becoming saturated in it and becoming semi-transparent.

Another bump as the Van of Doom hits a flock of ducks on it's way to the evil lair of Dr.Robotnik, precariously hidden after an incredibly long racetrack.

With this last bump Cream's Soaked top rips at the shoulder, her clothes being held on with nothing but the Sickly-Sweet Residue of the melted ice cream.

Then BANG! The van bumps yet again, sending cream flying into the side of the freezer, knocking her out cold.

She awakens in a prision lying in a pool of vanilla muck, her clothes are sticky and wet and her cell is full of darkness. Leaping to her feet she heads for the cell window - Seeing nothing but loops, bounce pads and precariously placed rings, she dips her head in a sigh.

Turning around she stops dead in her tracks.

"I love vanilla" Rouge softly whispers, stepping out of the shadows.

I'll leave the REST up to some other person.
Blogger phorenzik said...
....And then they les-up.
Blogger Benjamin said...
Cream the Rabbit is a name, not a command. :(
Blogger The GagaMan(n) said...
Nice to see this blog hasn't been stooping any lower in recent days =P
Blogger jammy56 said...
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Blogger Ante-nah said...
"Hey guys e-mail us pictures and write stuff about it so we can post it."

You people are the laziest bloggers I have ever seen.
Do I envy you? Of course.

You better not be getting paid for this.
God knows you are not getting *L*aid.

lol. man im soo smamrrt!!
Blogger Cmdr_Zorg said...
Dear Jammy56,

Did you just make that yourself? Or by some amazing coincidence was there already some Rouge/Cream/ice cream porn in existence?
Blogger ducky said...
i didn't know my perverted story would have such an effect. rock on ukr
Blogger jammy56 said...
Dear Mr Zorg,

unfortunately i made it myself ... sorry if you got all excited but there's no secret stash of sega related ice-cream porn lurking on the net.
Blogger Cmdr_Zorg said...
No, it's BEST that you made it yourself. It's absolutely brilliant. Have you got it as a bigger original file I can upload for people to use as a desktop?

I can't stop looking at Cream's knickers. You're a genius.
Blogger Armag3ddon said...
is it just me or is anyone else slighty creap'd out by this convo 0.o
Blogger bjkoot said...
reminds me of joanna dark and mario, whatever happened to that pic? p.s im a long time reader just never bothered signing up to reply.
I thought you might appreciate this, or want to come to the states to kick my arse :) Big fans here, wish we could have met at E3!
Blogger rVEO said...
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

Post a Comment