UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
No, not a bottle of vodka infused with the chalky and bitter after-taste of 48 crushed-up sleeping pills and 24 crushed-up Nurofens - Mana Health Potion.

A drink in a bottle that looks like something from a game.

'And a teaspoon of bleach to quicken the shutdown of the liver'

And 24 crushed up aspirins, just to make sure it doesn't hurt.

New Health Energy Potion Energy Shot Enhances Gaming Sessions, Aids in Recovery

Harcos' Sequel to Mana Energy Potion Boosts Mortals' Hit Points with Natural Herbs and Vitamins, Adds Fuel to Their Gaming Fire

SANTA MONICA, Calif. Fighting epic battles and embarking on mystical quests can be exhausting and draining, but Harcos' new Health Energy Potion restores gamers' energy levels so they can storm back onto the battlefield and conquer adversaries once more. From the two gamers behind the best-selling Mana Energy Potion, the long-anticipated follow up, Health Energy Potion, is now available for gamers everywhere in need of 5-8 hours of smooth, powerful energy, packed in a portable 1.69 oz bottle.

Health Energy Potion possesses a mellow apple-cinnamon flavor and packs helpful natural herbs, such as elderberry and ginseng, and the vitamins biotin and folic acid. With no sugar added, mortals won't fear the dreaded after crash associated with many other energy shots. Each magical bottle of Health Energy Potion looks like it's straight out of a video game, and is sure to add +160 to gamers' HP.

"We heard the cries and read the emails from gamers and geeks alike for a sequel to Mana Energy Potion, and Health Energy Potion is the perfect complimentary energy shot," said Aaron Rasmussen, co-founder, Harcos. "Whether you're a hardcore gamer needing more 'umph' for an epic quest or frag fest, or just need a pick-me-up in the middle of the day, Health Energy Potion has the fuel required to fight all your battles 'til the apple-cinnamon flavored end."

Health Energy Potion features:

* 5-8 hours of smooth energy
* Apple-cinnamon flavor
* No sugar, no after crash
* Elderberry, ginseng, biotin and folic acid
* As much caffeine as two cans of Red Bull

Health Energy Potion provides hardcore gamers with the essential energy boost to set out and conquer any thrilling gaming voyage imaginable. With a suggested MSRP of $3.45 per shot, Health Energy Potion is available for immediate order at, and will soon be available at retailers Fry's Electronics, Hot Topic, Micro Center and, among others.

About Elderberries

Elderberry is a dark berry that grows in both the Northern and Southern Hemispheres. Traditionally, the berry has been used in health potions and to provide protection from witches. Cutting down an elderberry tree, on the other hand, is said to release a perturbed spirit named the Elder Mother. An old poem even says, "Elder be the Lady's tree, burn it not or cursed ye'll be." It is also said that the tree could be safely cut while chanting a rhyme to the Elder Mother. When you open a new bottle of Health Energy Potion, it's recommended to chant: "Full my HP bar may be, sorry I cut down your stupid elder tree."

About Harcos, Inc.

Based in Santa Monica, Calif., Harcos was founded by two gamer geeks who discovered a niche at the intersection where gaming and consumer products merge with the launch of their first vitamin/energy beverage, Mana Energy Potion. Each magical bottle of Mana Energy Potion looks like it's straight out of a video game and is filled with a bright blue liquid that adds +160 to mana, packs a powerful dose of vitamins and delivers up to eight hours of smooth energy without sugar or an after crash. The company's follow up, Health Energy Potion, possesses a mellow apple-cinnamon flavor and is jam-packed with natural herbs, such as elderberry and ginseng, and the vitamins biotin and folic acid, while providing the same 5-8 hours of smooth, powerful energy with no sugar or after crash. Additional information is available at
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I sure hope that the reason this has been posted and not the Kaz Hirai "fuck game developers, Sony is bestorz" comments, is because you are still laughing too much to submit it.
Blogger Badben said...
I prefer my 5-8 hours of energy to be lumpy as fuck. No sale.
"Health Energy Potion features:

* As much caffeine as two cans of Red Bull"

Christ on a bike. The fat Warcraft addicts will get so buzzed that they'll accidentally lumber outside, expose themselves to sunlight, and lose their wanker's tan.
Blogger weatherbox said...
They should also release a special sort of 8-bit turkey drumstick, which is knee-high and has jagged edges for the advanced recuperation of health.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Why do all "gamer" drinks have enough caffeine to stun a cow? My aim doesn't get noticably better when my arms are twitching uncontrolably.
Blogger Cmdr_Zorg said...
The Hirai interview was so staggeringly bizarre it needed no additional mocking. He did a grand job all by himself.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I demand excuses right now. Seriously.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
An energy drink that looks like a health potion? That's stupid, fuck I hate "gamers".

Word verification: parthed. Not nearly a stupid a word as this product a drink.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Oh come on now. That Hirai interview needs a spot on this site. It's the biggest win for the forces of good yet.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Yeah, give it 2 years and we'll find it turns your pee purple and slowly over 15 years turns all your internal organs to mush! Hello lawsuits!
Anonymous Anonymous said...
give us something decent for a friday Mr Z
hows the new banner comp coming along?
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Eh I want an enema of that.. and I want Zorg to do it.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
"jam-packed with natural herbs, such as elderberry"
Somehow this does not inspire confidence.
Anonymous Radeon Manual said...
I don't know what a "Wanker's tan" is, but I like how it sounds.

Gaming is about the least fucking tiring thing a human can do while still actually doing something. I can play games to the full extent of my skillz long after other profitable activities become impossible, long after I should have been asleep.

I don't like bullshit and this is ripe.

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