UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
Hot on the heels of (eight weeks after) the amazing Dreamcast-like LUBEFREIGHT sighting comes this - a business operating under the name PSP Incineration Ltd.




Yes please. Incinerate them one at a time or all at once. As many as you can. Just leave one intact so future generations can enjoy Lumines and Lumines II.


OPENING PREAMBLE
"PSP Incineration Ltd a.k.a. Sony's Emergency Plan B (inc. dangerous covert photography in the Watford area)‏"

"Or Plan C, or D or whatever plan they're on now. Whatever plan it is, I've lost count and that's the point.

"I was outside Watford Junction station last week and noticed an unsavoury man and a van in the parking area. Two unsavoury men, in fact, on their cigarette break. The logo on the side of the van said PSP Incineration Ltd. It could've been a specific department set up to deal with the PSP, or perhaps I'd uncovered some kind of strange PSP rebranding operation..."




"That guy there was the lookout. The bigger one, who I imagine owns the van and probably does the incinerating with his bare hands, was busy getting into said van. Shortly afterwards the pair sped off, almost like Steve Coogan's Mustang in the Saxondale intro.

"I was under immense pressure taking these photos (I took five altogether, but this is the clearest) on my phone. I at least set the focus to infinity to speed up the picture-taking and, naturally, disabled the flash just in case, but I was in direct view of not only the two unsavoury types but also a family sitting nearby and the commuters going about their daily business, so I too used the cigarette break as my disguise and lit one up as the littering bastard kept giving me strange looks. Upon seeing that I was a fellow smoker, he seemed to calm down, but I also had a massive, unwieldy black/green Zavvi bag (Laurel and Hardy DVD collection, oh yes) which drew unnecessary attention. To put things in perspective, here's one of the earlier, dodgier 'action' shots..."




"I decided not to rotate it the right way around just to emphasise the clear and present danger involved. Further reconnaissance revealed a website for the 'company'. If you ask me, it looks positively dubious.

"What would Sony want with our bank statements and personal information? I smell a rat, and it smells not unlike a certain Kaz Hirai, only with a wholly different name and address. Heck, he could be posing as me! If you are offered a PSP by a Japanese man calling himself Bilal Sheikh, DO NOT BUY IT. Unless it's really cheap and you can flash it, then you can play Streets of Rage 2 on it, like I do with mine.

"I've been mulling over the idea of possibly buying www.ps3incineration.co.uk in case Sony decides to branch out, but I'm thinking of a few other things to spend £2.99 on, like HD-DVDs from HMV" - Bilal.
Anonymous Sponge Finge said...
I want an Idiot Toys shirt :(
Two, actually.
Blogger Halverde said...
TOO MANY WORDS, BILAL. I'd have read them if I'd known they were from you, but alas, I had no way of knowing until the very end when I'd already skipped it all.

I would wear a PSP Incineration t-shirt.
Anonymous PhotoBoy said...
I was getting quite worried for Bilal looking at that second photo. I thought the blurriness indicated that he'd been spotted taking covert pictures and was being pursued.

You know what men in white vans are like, they spend an evening downing pints and then stagger home to beat the missus and perhaps force themselves on her if the alcohol hasn't rendered them impotent. In the situation of erectile malfunction they usually beat the wife again because it's "her fault".

WV: cepil- some sort of Viagra variant?
Anonymous Nebagram said...
Lumines 1 & 2 are effectively available on Xbox Live as Lumines 'Live!' so you can go ahead and nuke the final one as well.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I'm going to rape Bilal the next time I see him at Watford Junction.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Viao P launched today.

Does it have a BluRay drive? - does it bollocks. What are Sony Playing at?


P.S. definitely too many words. And not even any pictures of Gemma Atkinson. Its all turning to shit round here.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
So, wheres the forum these days
Anonymous Anonymous said...
It got lost up it's own arse.
Blogger bilal said...
I'll have you know it's not a case of too many words - that's my standard writing length - but of too few photos. The thing is, out of the six or so that I took, those two were actually the clearest.

All my submissions are about this length, it's just that the last few had more photos which helps break up the writing a bit.

I'm readying my gadgets with faces submission which has a whopping THREE photos of a heater at B&Q that was also fraught with danger (B&Q being the domain of big builders assuming I was mocking them). I think that'll be my new hook. Racism got old quickly, so now it's all about danger photography.

wv: mings
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I had a PSP, but I left it on a train. I made no effort to recover it. This encapsulates my feelings for the format.
Anonymous PhotoBoy said...
Train cleaner 1: Hey, I just found a handheld games console on this train seat.
Train cleaner 2: Is it a DS? My son really wants one of those!
Train cleaner 1: No, it's just a PSP.
Train cleaner 2: Oh well. I'll ring the incinerators then.

wv: unben- for when you are not Ben.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
So what happened to UK Persistence, then, eh?
Anonymous Do Wah Diddy said...
Train cleaner 1: Hey, po prostu znalazłem pulpit gry na podłodze

Train cleaner 2: Shut up you scum cunt & go & clean the shitter.

Train cleaner 3: PhotoBoy is my favorite funny man, I like to lick his balls.
Blogger Badben said...
I hired a white van for a day once and I can confirm that later in the evening, after I'd moved the piano, I indeed drank too much, forced myself on the wife and then beat her for my erectile dysfunction being her fault. It was a standard extra on the rental package, well worth it.
Anonymous Photoboy said...
Steady on there, I might let you lick my balls if you're a very attractive woman. However, interacting with real women is problematic, so I might have to cut a dick-sized hole in my hotel room door and observe the sac tonguing via the spy hole. Or maybe you could take extremely high resolution pictures for me and send them in to UK:R so I can see what happened.

wv: lubir- some kind of sex lubricant
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Can I order 50 shirts please !!!! Just to confirm that the man in the picture wasnt an employee otherwise he would of had a darker shirt on with PSP on it.
Also we Recycle Waste into Energy by Incineration.
All types of waste including Secure/Confidential materials.We can destroy your psp's for you but there will be a charge....
We have nothing to do with the playstation although lots of kids like our vans..Have a nice day.
Anonymous poospe said...
Recycling waste into energy by incineration - that's fancy talk for setting fire to stuff & making CO2, no? Good work! Maybe I got that wrong & you could details the process a little. While you're at it, how about you explain more about the kids in your vans and how you give them have nice day.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Recycle waste into energy, means waste of all types are saved from landfill ( a good thing) and instead incinerated which run big turbines which generate electricity for over 100,000 buildings in London.
Regarding the kids thing,be careful what you say!!
Anonymous Anonymous said...
mrrobsa said:

"Keep your financial details safe, let PSP destroy your confidential waste."

From the PSP Incineration site. I think they're saying if you invest your money in PSP, it'll be safe because no fucker will want to steal it.

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