Denying the SEGA holocaust since 1996

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SEGA's sexy 1990s adverts

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Miyamoto and puppies

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THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME

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San Andreas "Hot Coffee" sex game mod

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E3 wheelchair groper

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Sonic CD Superlovers

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PS3 + Killzone 2 LIE WATCH!

Frag Dolls -- Reviewed!

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Visiting the Gizmondo shop

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EA Cricket 2005 'hilarity'

Xbox 360 photos?

"New Games Journalism" anti-manifesto

UKR -- The Mansion

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OutRun2, Doom 3 and Fable guide

50 reasons to buy OutRun2

OutRun2 'flag man'

What women drivers really say

Tron loser

PS2 EyeToy OutRun2

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A day trip to Sega!

HOW TO IDENTIFY JADE RAYMOND, ASSASSINS CREED SPOKESBABE

She's got three little moles beneath her collar bone. They make a little triangle.


Jade's collar bone

Only you would know this. Only you get close enough to her to know this.


Jade's thumb and hand

She also has a mole on her left thumb.


Jade's development harem

This is the full photo of Jade and the Assassin's Creed team. The team must love the way they're lumped together in a big mass and made to stand three paces behind Jade. Morale must be sky high. It also looks like Jade was the only one given advance warning to "wear something nice".

29 Comments:

Blogger The Accidental Gamer said...

This post has been removed by the author.

11:54 AM  
Blogger The Accidental Gamer said...

Apart from that black dude off to the right who appears to have come directly from the set of Star Trek…

11:57 AM  
Blogger ruggedtoast said...

LMAO!

11:59 AM  
Blogger Shane said...

Nah, she dresses really well all the time. Trust me, I have... photos.

*cough*

12:14 PM  
Blogger Bjam said...

Ubisoft Bukkake party. I do hope she has wipes, especially with all the expensive equipment around...

http://www.benoliverisalive.blogspot.com

12:37 PM  
Blogger MemeBuendia said...

I hate to point this out, but really... if she has three moles I think they most definitely will make a triangle...

12:43 PM  
Blogger Josh said...

NOT IF THEY ARE IN A STRAIGHT LINE!

HAHA.


Also, that asian chick on the far left of the photo is totally like "Jade thinks shes so pretty, she has no idea I spit in her coffee every morning"

12:53 PM  
Blogger tentonipete said...

i just like the way they put the ONLY black dude right at the front to make it look like they're equal opportunities but then stick him at the side out of the way.

1:40 PM  
Blogger MemeBuendia said...

@josh

It's still a triangle, a degenerated one, but nonetheless a triangle!

AHA!

1:50 PM  
Blogger phorenzik said...

Bloody women. They'll take advantage of any opportunity to pose in front of a camera if it delays the pot-washing for a few minutes.

It's all right love, they'll still be there when you've finished smiling. The sooner you get the pots done, the sooner you can start on the ironing.

3:48 PM  
Blogger Ian said...

Spokesbabe? Oh please.

Would all the same, but I'm starting to get a little sick of the sight of her.

3:48 PM  
Blogger The Accidental Gamer said...

Hey she's a qualified computer programmer... A hot nerd that's not just pretending to like video games - Someone call call Guinness World Records!

5:16 PM  
Blogger qwertyboy said...

This has messed my head up. I always thought she was some kind of Hot PR chick . I didn't realise she used to be a programmer and now a producer !!??? WTF !! someone that HOT ....How is that F**kin possible. I used to work for Nintendo and none of the producers came this close to Hottieness.

Theres something very strange going on....This can't be true, I think theres a clever PR stunt here to make the video games industry sexy.

Shes on youtube here, looking fit !!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D9XRzW7EFA

5:45 PM  
Blogger Mentski said...

Just because she's got a computer science degree doesn't make you an uber programmer, I have one and I'm utter shit.

I also find it highly suspicious, that apart from statements that she worked for EA and Sony (which is hardly a good start anyway), nowhere I've looked actually mentions WHAT she's ever worked on before this.

I still think this "producer/spokesperson" role smells of bullshit to a) Make Ubisoft look "cool" b) Hide the fact Assasins Creed will be shit.

Until proven otherwise, she's just a Frag Doll with a degree and a better job title.

10:33 AM  
Blogger Bara said...

I heard her say that 'anything that sticks out over two inches is intereactive'. Where are her standerds?

12:02 PM  
Blogger Robotron2084 said...

"Until proven otherwise, she's just a Frag Doll with a degree and a better job title."
Couldn't be said better, Mentski !

She appears in the "producers" of Sims Online.
http://www.mobygames.com/game/windows/sims-online/credits
(production is a cast that concentrates the most useless and talentless category of people - no computer programming needed)

She must somehow have messed in producing, since soo after "Sim online", she's credited in the "Art" (no computer programming needed) section for this game (?)
"There"
http://www.mobygames.com/game/windows/there/credits
nice screens ... looks like a bad linux freeware
http://www.mobygames.com/game/windows/there/screenshots
Well done, Jade, that's a wonderful job you've done here


I can imagine : after working on "There", she went to Ubi with her "art portfolio". The guy got convinced that her presence would be very valuable, as far as she didn't mess with "art"... And there she got hired as fragd... she got back to "production".


I'm absolutely sure Assassin will be shit.

2:12 PM  
Blogger slim1945 said...

The strange thing is I have two moles on the shaft of my penis and if she were to take it in her left hand it would make the same identical mole formation she has on her collar bone. Is this a sign?

2:25 PM  
Blogger Daniel said...

Anyone have a picture of her feet?

6:52 PM  
Blogger hahnchen said...

There's so much shit facial hair on show there, especially those twats on the left.

I can't believe the Neatest Beard in Game Development shares an office with some fucker with a soul patch.

11:03 PM  
Blogger Foozwah said...

Those aren't just three moles. If she goes to the right place in Hyrule, they join up and turn gold, transforming into the Triforce of Token Hot Game Chick-ness...

mojlldk - trying to say "mojo" with a pube stuck in the back of your throat.

4:22 AM  
Blogger Jim said...

Obviously, Jade is deliberately placed at the front. I wonder, though, whether they deliberately placed the terrorist-looking guy in the black skullcap way in the back.

8:57 AM  
Blogger gary said...

..and what the fuck is that twat wearing on his head in the middle of the scrum, some sort of bizarre Where's Wally tribute?

3:13 PM  
Blogger Flackon said...

There's no way Assasin's Creed will be "shit". It will probably be "not awesome" (too much hype, not enough quality craftsmanship) but not shit.

There are far worse games out there.

1:24 PM  
Blogger Edmund said...

She would fully suit it in the mouth..

6:28 PM  
Blogger Ismail said...

Give her a break!

11:35 PM  
Blogger raezr said...

any three points make a triangle (unless they're all on the same line) ugh learn math next time MORAN

5:35 AM  
Blogger David2333 said...

what the hell is a MORAN? you IDOIT!

8:11 AM  
Blogger Ritesh said...

That picture with whats-her-name in the front of the group giving a stupid pose is so sad...

I bet Ubisoft has a high programmer attrition rate considering that they think that no good bitch deserves this much publicity over the people who do real work.

6:12 PM  
Blogger Pepe said...

Yeah I'd be pissed if I was part of that crew.

7:40 PM  

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