But once every year or so something comes along that stops us playing Virtua Tennis and is actually worth the money games cost.
We thought we'd got bored of racing games, but it turned out we hadn't - we'd just got bored of waiting for PGR3 to load.
On paper, Forza 2's the most boring game in the world. It's cars, tracks, loads of modding options, painting options, tuning options and the sort of screens we usually don't ever bother looking at, apart from by accident when we're trying to work out how to put it all on Easy.
But it's not boring. It's the least-boring driving game since OutRun2.
This is mainly because of the car-painting section, which even artistically retarded people like us can use to make the cars look awesome.
This has taken four hours so far. The car designing feature is utterly amazing, although you need to spend more hours than there are to make anything good. The text tool, for example, only lets you put on one letter at a time. So much as we'd like to do a SPIEL MACHT FREI design, we not going to bother. Even doing "UK RESISTANCE" would result in getting bored and stopping after just the "U" and the "K".
This is the best we can manage. For some examples of what proper people can do when bothered, go over to the forums at Forzamotorsport.net where some good people have really tried hard.
This is what a good person has done. Staggering. When doing something else, like watching TV, shopping or what passes as work, all we can think about is getting back to Forza 2 and making a pretty car. It's the biggest obsession we've had since Anna Kournikova's bottom.
If you're good at art and stuff AND can be bothered, please can you design a UKR-themed car, or an Idiot Toys-themed car, and gift it to us. We'll do an update about it, or if more than one person bothers, we'll do an update about them. If you're not "scene" enough to know our Gamertag, mail in and ask.
Here's something about what the graphics are like, for the benefit of our German readers: 60fps. Very pretty. Very smooth. People moaning about what Forza 2 looks like are idiots, as it's all really pretty. Even the menus are nice, well laid out and nothing like the awkward mess of Forza 1.
This update reads like an advert :(
The game comes with some free music for listening to while painting your car and waiting for things to load. It's really good music, all electronic stuff you wouldn't expect a bunch of Americans to put in a racing game. There is no Bryan Adams and we are yet to come across "Song 2".
We have no idea who any of the bands are, due to being really out of touch with youth culture. However, it has made us realise that perhaps some new music is good after all and maybe we shouldn't only ever listen to the Pet Shop Boys.
Suzuka. Forever remembered as a Ferrari F355 track. Finally, nearly ten years later, games are starting to look a bit better than Dreamcast ones.
A SERIOUS BAD POINT: It's hard getting online races to work. Really hard. In six attempts last night we connected to zero games, and just got error messages about the game not existing any more even though you could actually see it.
A SERIOUS THOUGHT: It's odd that even now the best example of online gaming is still Project Gotham Racing 2. Why is it that new games still can't do lobbies as good as or better than PGR2's? This is the sort of serious, deep thought we occasionally have, before going back to thinking about who would win in a sex fight between Ulala and Betty Boo and if it's wrong to have toast for dinner again tonight.
We have more screenshots of it than things to say.
Oh yes. The car Auction House is brilliant, and you can see it on your PC on the game's web site. This is clever.
There are lots of races and cars.
It is nice.
Basically, we like Forza 2 as much as Virtua Tennis 3, which makes it only the second game this year we've played through choice in the evenings. This must mean it's at least a 9/10.
Labels: ENTHUSIASM
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. A VERY STRANGE MOVING SEGA CHAIR ANOTHER THING SEGA DID FIRST AND OBVIOUSLY BEST THE NEW *BEST* AND *MOST EXCITING* SEGA PHOTOGRAPH... THAT THING ABOUT POSTING FAKE PLASTIC POO TO SONY IT'S BACK TO BUSINESS AS USUAL THEN JACQUES MAKES FANTASIES REALITIES JACQUES BREAKS INTO 'THE CLUB' SOME PS3 LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY THE NEATEST BEARD IN VIDEO GAME DEVELOPMENT VIRTUA TENNIS PLAYED ON THE DREAMCAST FISHING CONT...
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
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FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
again.
twrant: 1. To speak or declaim extravagantly or violently; talk in a wild or vehement way.
2. To post a comment about UK:R on Kotaku.
FERRARI ! It's the goddamn brand of the OutRun cars, for shit's sake.
BETTY BOOP !
Drop your current spellchecker.
This is the guy that beat you in the online race last night, I hope you enjoyed the delightful anime-style twat I painted on my car as I burned past you on the turn!
I am the Pixel-King and I win the Internet. Sod off!
Sincerely,
Some Dumb Yank
Well if any of that had happened and if I could be bothered to do all that and buy the game, that's maybe what would have been written...
Maybe...
byevfee: What you say to friends in the adult chat room when you log off due to spending your wank money on virtual porn.
i don't wanna paint my car, or drive someone's daytona car, or whatever.
but i still think sega rally on saturn is the greatest driving game ever made, and everything since can't even sit on the same shelf as it (unless it's the us SR in which case it can go in the bin)
DAMN YOU FOR SUPPORTING IT
jxotpjf: still less confusing than typing the first, third and seventh numbers of my security number into HSBC's fucking online banking service
Excellent.
I can cheat my way to winning them now.
imydip: Shorthand for "If your word verification isn't actually funny, don't fucking bother, because you just end up looking like a shitehouse thats trying to jump on the bandwagon"
http://forzamotorsport.net/forzamotorsportnet/handlers/forza2handler.ashx?ID=454673&mode=7
http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f46/luvbeers7/ukr5.jpg
http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f46/luvbeers7/ukr4.jpg
http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f46/luvbeers7/ukr3.jpg
http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f46/luvbeers7/ukr2.jpg
http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f46/luvbeers7/ukr1.jpg
Gamertag: Luvbeers7
http://forzamotorsport.net/forzamotorsportnet/handlers/forza2handler.ashx?ID=486264&mode=7
http://forzamotorsport.net/forzamotorsportnet/handlers/forza2handler.ashx?ID=486119&mode=7
When I click the link its just a load of strange numbers and letters.
http://img118.imageshack.us/img118/1494/ukrmini1tj8.jpg
Still a good game, mind.
Blue Skies VX220!
http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/3231/blueskiy1te8.jpg
Spiel Macht Clio V6
http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/2345/clio1ro0.jpg
I made this!
http://i124.photobucket.com/albums/p1/mentuss/Forza/teamabobopreview.jpg
(Ok, it's not Sega themed, but give me a chance, I'm practicing)
Has anyone seen the Street Fighter ones up on the auction? Whoever did them is one Talented, No-Life Bastard, and no mistake.