UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
PlayStation3 registered an 82 percent drop in hardware sales for the week ending April 1, its second week on sale in the UK, according to official Chart Track hardware sales figures we're not supposed to have.

This is not really a surprise, as everyone who wanted a PS3 now has a PS3. Its brief blip of possible popularity has ended.

Chart Track only publicly released software sales figures for the last week, which were slightly more flattering to PS3 - showing over a 60 percent drop, as everyone who only bought Motorstorm bought Resistance and everyone who only bought Resistance bought Motorstorm.

Argos PS3 stock shame

And if someone from Sony Europe says this is due to "stock issues" it will be the single biggest lie in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD. It's quite unlikely that a press release will be issued about these figures.

Virgin Woking - Painful countdown

PS3 is now a 100 percent verified disaster! And if you believed Chart Track's "165,000" you now have to believe Chart Track's "82 percent drop". Poor you.

Happy days. Some photo we used either today or last week came from the person who does this. It's a link to some student radio, so you don't have to click on it. We're just being polite.

FROM GERMANY: "I'm a Brit and I live in South Germany. I thought you might like to see a picture of the unsold stack of PS3s in the local MediaMarkt store (Huge German Electrical/Electronic Chain). I usually go into the store at least twice a week and the stack hasn't moved in the past week. Only 599 Europounds. Hardly compares to the XBox 360 which is 299 Europounds. All the best, Colin."

Nobody queued outside Nook's when PS3 went on sale, either. We should also link to Mr Biffo's awesome anecdote about Phil Harrison. If you like reading stories about people under great stress going mental in public, this is ideal.

We have literally 100s of photos like this. And WANT MORE!


Blogger Ooshka said...
Ah, right, so there is justice in the world after all.

Sweepstakes to the first fanboy who simply goes 'But...but...but...' and then explodes due to their brain overheating with the truth. I'm going with that twat Tobyeross, with Richard a close second., if anyone cares
Blogger Neil said...
Ooooh! Animal Crossing Joke! That's much better....

Blogger Saphion said...
Dear Owners of PS3s.

I know you're temped to post some mindless drivel here about the PS3, if only to justify taking out a loan to purchase a now-defunct console.

We don't give a fuck.

Please don't post anything. It will help you from looking like a complete twat further on.

Now kindly piss off before you do anything idiotic.

Like continue to live, for instance.

Thank you for your co-operation.
Blogger Saphion said...
Ooshka, your blog is fucking brilliant.
Blogger ThwartedEfforts said...
I'm still holding out for one of those thick eBay touts to sell me theirs for £99. I'll then nail it to a wall and use the drive mechanism to hold crisp packets.
Blogger Ben Chud said...
We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.
Blogger slim1945 said...
Another Glorious victory for the resistance, Oh god i feel friction burns coming on...
Blogger Jawatron said...

Screw you you dirty Chart Track quoting PS3 fanboy cunts! 82% in your face! 82% of my balls on your face! 82% of my fist in your ass! 82% of homeless people get murdered!

165,000 pieces of shit on the wall.

In your face!

Ahhhh. haha. ah. urgh.
Blogger Capt_Jax said...
So how come they only post this percentage figure and not the actual number of units sold?

Perhaps because it might show last weeks figure was a LIE?
Blogger Ooshka said...
Saphion: Thanks very much.

Ben Chud: Pardon?

PS3 Fanboys: Fuck. Right. Off.

fpdqxndc - too fucking long for a word verification, buddy.
Blogger Studley said...
In my RSS feed, this appears as "PLAYSTATION3 WEEK TWO HARDWARE SALES: 82", which would've been even awesomer.

word verification: smrygol. Wasn't he in Lord Of The Rings?
Blogger Lodin said...
Before some Sony twat comes claiming Zorg pulled this news out of his arse:
Blogger Alex said...
The problem comes when you do the maths though- if you believe the 165k first weekend, then an 82% drop in week 2 would still mean in total about 195k out of the 200k allocated to the UK have been sold. And you've proved most of the remainder are in Argos :)
Blogger ino said...
You know what is that ps3 good now? I'll explain:

If you live on a hill, you might take the ps3 an put it right under your car/truck's wheels so if the breaks fail you have a guarantee.

I heard it does that job way better than DC/wii/360/rock so In your face you who don't like ps3 HAHAHA.

Also the sound it does when it breaks or when it sinks in shit beats the hell out of other consoles HAHAHAHA in your face anti-ps3 fanboys

i just love the lies
Blogger Saphion said...
I'm surprised Sony hasn't done a PR job on this yet.

"Selling less PS3s is GOOD! It means there are MORE AVAILABLE TO BUY!"

Blogger giginger said...
fuck right off looks to be a fucking awesome blog. I've subscribed to that.

Blogger keyrat said...
so is this site ever going to be funny again or are you done with the comedy?
Blogger Jack said...

Keyrat : I'm sure that they'll be more hilarity the next time SOny PR shit out of their mouths again.
Blogger praxis22 said...
Actually if anyone is Hamburg you should get them to take photos in Saturn, they had 118 of them on display when I counted them on Friday. They have 76 in Saturn in Leipzig too.
Blogger Liam said...
Here be some Sony PR japery:

Apparently the Blu-ray discs are used to store all the artificial intelligence. You can't fit artificial intelligence on a DVD you see!
Blogger colin said...
See, I was right before. Those numbers from last week don't mean anything. If these trends continue and we don't use the arbitrary two day time measure, then the PS3 will likely prove to be the slowest selling console ever. Think about how it's "fastest selling ever" record will look if these trends continue and we compare to 360 and Wii sales at the one month mark. See, that's why a "fastest selling" record is silly that early on. At this rate, my beloved Atari 7800 will have beaten it to the 2 million mark.

Did mention that I called this?

Because I did.

Not that that was impressive to anyone other than Sony fanboys, who thought the numbers actually meant something.
Blogger primaleyes said...
UK:RESISTANCE has given me something: "Hope"

Sony have been such a negative force for videogaming, that most gamers are now mindless zombies, happy to play games that would make eating your own leg off seem like fun.

I just hope Sony dies. They may have once been good at making tv's, but for quite a while now, they've been like a plague ridden corpse infecting the innocent with their stench.

I hope the videogame division dies, then the television division, and finally the whole evil empire will crumble into the abyss.

Phil Harrison will try to run, but we shall grab the bastard, and let Nintendo and Sega kick the crap-out of him.

All this anti-Sony enthusiasm is prove that common-sense is once again alive and well in the West.

Burn Sony, burrrrn!
Blogger Zack said...
Finally a update that lets the figures talk for themselves instead of the overdone anti-PS3 propaganda. I get the whole "war-time" joke but it was getting old, glad to see things might be winding down as the major battle has been won.
Tho i do admit i missed you guys for the week without news
Blogger Daniel said...
Take a look at this link, very amusing:
Blogger CaptainChaos said...
Hillarious... You do know some of those photos are pictures of DISPLAY BOXES...

I know of no stores that keep their PS3's on the shop floor like that...

What a sad buch of tossers you really are...
Blogger Saphion said...
This post has been removed by the author.
Blogger Saphion said...
CaptainCunt, you do know for each of those boxes, if the console isn't already inside, the contents are in a back room, ready to be packed in?

The actual display boxes (the ones made by Sony to advertise the console) don't have any handles on them.

All of the ones on these photos do have handles.

Blogger Saphion said...
Also, the boxes in the Argos picture are most likely actual PS3s regardless because y'know, that's where they keep the stuff they give to people.

I doubt they'd hand out display boxes to people.

Blogger CaptainChaos said...
Nice try, all he display boxes I have seen are identical to the real boxes, handles and all.

Nice way to deceive people....

Funniest, dumbest comment of the day:

"you do know for each of those boxes, if the console isn't already inside, the contents are in a back room, ready to be packed in?"

This is totally bogus, Sony send out the display boxes flat packed, there are no consoles out back, dumbass...

Is this guy typical of the morons that post here?
Blogger Saphion said...
So apparently Sony want to create the image that nobody is buying their stuff?

"Here, have about 30 display boxes. There's no logical reason for it, and from a marketing point of view it's an extremely idiotic thing to do, but there you go."

Because wow, you can't get a Wii for beans and their display boxes are everywhere! Oh no wait, there are none. At least, there are none identical to the retail boxes (as per the Sony ones in the picture).


And I'm the moron? I'm sorry, but I don't recall being shot down repeatedly in another thread like you were.

Now fuck off.
Blogger colin said...
Okay, now the Sony fanboys are really running out of stuff to say. For two generations now they've relied on "well Sony sells the best, so, like, it must be the best. Durrrr." Now Sony is taking a pounding and I've seen Sony fans use the most stupid arguments for anything, ever.

"It's, like, Christmas and stuff, and no one has money left to buy consoles (that was the excuse here in North America starting around December 26th)".

"It's like, March, almost April, and that's not exactly when consoles sell (an excuse I honestly saw on here awhile back; so if you're keeping score, no one buys anything from December 26th to April 4th at least).

Poor sales are called good sales, because of the quantity of consoles available that could have sold.

Now, despite the fact that the sales are clearly-- according to the same company that was recently held up by Sony fans as showing how well Sony was doing-- shit and that there are pictures showing exactly how many are ACTUALLY available in the stores, they are focusing on if some boxes are real PS3 boxes. Here's a thought: who gives a fuck?

Whether or not the BOXES have PS3s in them or are some kind of crazy, fake, make it look like your system is selling like crap marketing idea, the system IS NOT selling. Those boxes could have Wiis and 360s in them for all the difference that fact makes. 82% drop, even if you believe chart track's original numbers. 60% software drop. Tons of them unsold at a major chain. What does it matter what's in the fucking boxes?

The saddest part is that if Sony told these same fanboys that the box WAS the PS3, they'd say "Durr, sure. That's a great idea", and convince themselves that they thought a cardboard box was worth $659.
Blogger colin said...
By the way, in re-reading, I just noticed Zack's post. Zack my friend, it isn't possible to have Anti-PS3 propaganda. That's like making anti-Nazi propaganda. It isn't propaganda: they really are that horrible.
Blogger Saphion said...
Dear CaptainCrevice.

I went down town today.

And guess what I saw?

That's right, a PS3 'display' box.

And guess what?

It DOES NOT have a handle.

Instead, it has some text saying 'NOT FOR SALE' in three languages.

If you like, tomorrow I can take some pictures of it.

You know, photographic evidence.

Do tell. I'd quite like to shoot you down again. You get shot down so well.

Blogger Billy Morris said...
CaptainCaveman: Your argument about dummy boxes is just ridiculous.

I used to work for E.B. now known as GAME, and the PS flatpacks are very flimsy, and DO NOT come with the handles.

The obvious give away is that fact that they're BEHIND the counter where the 'hey mate do you wanna buy 10 playstation games for a quid, fella!?' thieving Chavstation fans cant nick them!
The argos staff have simply got them ready for the eerrr- rush?

You could say that they've put empty boxes there to promote PS3, but following your women's logic then, you could say the one person at the PS3 launch, was actually a stand-up cardboard figure, which TBH would be a lot more believable.

Over the years, there's always been rivalry between formats like Amstrad vs VIC, BBC vs Spectrum, Amiga vs ST, Megadrive vs SNES, and now we've reached 360, Wii and PS3.
Here's the thing, 360 and Wii fans seem far more objective in the pro's and con's of each console.

360 fans know there's something they'll love on the Wii
Wii fans know there's something they'll love on the 360

PS fans, nothing is any good, if it does'nt have sony on it. lol this may have been true in the 80's when sony used to make decent telly's.
Now they've grown into and overbearing Rupert Murdock corporate bully, and deserve everything they get!

What's united Wii and 360 fans is:-
1. Sony pissed off half the gaming industry by forcing liksang to close which promoted Sony PSP's!?
2. All non-sony fans have been watching and recording all the historical lies they've told since PS2 using FMV to compete, and saying it's graphics etc etc etc.
3. The PS2 numb-nuts forced Sega's downfall and think they're hardcore, when Sega is a hardcore based Arcade machine making company, and experience shows too when playing Saturn and Dreamcast games.

Usually it's blind pride you are defending along with your ego that you have'nt just bought a piece of crap. You are afraid people will laugh at you if you buy a PS3 and rightly so, because they have been all the time you had your PS2. LMAO

Zack: Even Iran gave up the ghost in the end, why not come to your senses? You never know you might get a friend!? Worth a try anyway lol
Blogger primaleyes said...
Hey, this is Phil Harrison here.

All the nice Sony fanboys have made me really horny. Even Ken is getting hot over all the arse-kissing.

If you'd like to meet-up for some bum fun, please post your AIM address, and we'll get in touch.

Love ya lots.

Big Phil
Blogger Saphion said...
That was the best post anyone has ever made anywhere.

Post a Comment