When UK:Resistance is crowned King of the New Order, we will ensure that you are all given preferential treatment and shipped off to only the finest of labour camps, with the highest hygiene standards and most generous food rations. We look after our people, here. We will be a much better boss than the old boss.
THE FINAL PUSH:
EYEWITNESS REPORT: "I work in the centre of Sheffield and have been walking past this sign practically every day since Game started taking pre-orders. I particularly like the way that the store manager has had to put 'Remember the Wii?' on the sign to try and scaremonger potential customers into purchasing a piece of shit which they otherwise wouldn't have thought twice about. Well, it hasn't worked, has it?"
EYEWITNESS REPORT: "Find attached two photos I took today in Sheffield. Playtime in Sheffield is ADVERTISING it still has PS3s left. I went in to ask how many they had in the first place but they wouldn't tell me. Sorry about the poor picture quality, I can't afford a decent camera because I gave all my money to Sega back in 2001".
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ABOUT 'PLAYTIME': "Playtime is an interesting shop because the owner can't stand Nintendo and the other main guy who works there only buys Nintendo consoles. I don't think there's ever been a time when I've walked in and they haven't been arguing about Nintendo. If only they would learn..."
"I work at Blockbusters and the past 4 weeks has just been a relentless push on pre-orders for the PS3. We were told that Sony could guarantee that every pre-order would be honoured. Blockbuster seem to think that they are bum chums with Sony. We can't shift them for love nor money. In fact, the only 2 we have pre-ordered were from the same guy and he even told me that he was going to Ebay them to make a tidy profit. What a twat. As the launch date has been approaching and units still not being shifted in the quantities expected we were told by higher management to leave "two interesting facts that customers might not know about the PS3" on the company voicemail that we could then pass on the grateful public. Frankly, most of the facts given were beyond lame. Example: Did you know that the PS3 is portable? You can move it about. Gee, thanks. Example 2: Did you know that the PS3 is multi-region and will play DVDs and Blu-Rays from around the world. Er, no it fucking well can't. Honestly, it's getting embarrassing."
YES: Is the new PlayStation 3 doomed to failure?
ON THE SPOT REPORT: "HMV in the centre of Oxford has been advertising pre-orders for the last two weeks. Yesterday, they resorted to touting their pre-order allocation as some kind of reverse psychology incentive. Needless to say, the number was the same today.
"Meanwhile, Virgin across the street has also had a sign outside advertising its pre-orders for the last week or so. Doesn't look like they're having much luck either."
"Just went to an eb games in auckland new zealand and asked them how many consoles they have left for pre order and they said only a few, then I overhear a conversation the manager has with another store and hear him say "it's not going too well we've only had 30 pre-orders" so they are struggling to get rid of them over here... the ps3 is dead!!"
DENMARK!
ALTRINCHAM!
MIDDLESBROUGH!
NEWCASTLE!
ABERDEEN!
HULL!
HULL!
HULL!
HULL!
"Here's some potentially interesting data that shows the complete lack of interest in the PS3 that I came across today. "The share of UK Internet searches for 'playstation 3' increased 14% in the past four weeks." - Ha ha ha, totally toss."
NEVER TRUST THE ITALIANS AT A TIME OF WAR:
http://www.gamesindustry.biz/content_page.php?aid=23664
"Speaking to GamesIndustry.biz, Virgin's promotions and PR manager Stephen Lynn said he wasn't disappointed by the level of turnout on Wednesday. "I'm delighted that we've got anyone at all, to be honest."
"Thought you might be interested in a message I saw on a board: "Where I work, we originally started a couple of weeks ago with a sign that said "Only 12 PS3s left!" A couple of days later, that changed to "Only six left!" It is now sitting at "Only two left!" We have not sold any since the "12 left" sign"
"The PS3 Launch line up is so exciting that if you buy on a PS3 at HMV, they are offering you a PS2 port of a PSP port of a PS2 game that came out in 2002 for only £10! Assuming it runs on your PS3, this means you can be playing this great game for only FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE POUNDS - what a launch!"
That just about wraps things up.
Labels: WAR ON PS3
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. PS3 FLOPS ON EBAY! JUSTICE FOR ALL! REPORTING LIVE FROM THE PS3 LAUNCH EVENT! EUROPE AT WAR: ONLY 12 OF THE TOP 50 EUROPEAN PS2 ... EUROPE AT WAR: ZERO PS3 DEMAND - SHOPS CAN'T BE BO... EUROPE AT WAR: "ONLY FEW LEFT" IN MAIDA VALE BLOCK... EUROPE AT WAR: PUBLISHERS ABANDON PS3 LAUNCH EUROPE AT WAR: PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OBTAINED! CUR... EUROPE AT WAR: AMERICA HAS BEEN CLEANSED! EUROPE AT WAR: HORSHAM GAME HAS GONE TOTALLY INSAN...
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
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FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
oh the hilarity.
and the grammar on that last one is horrendous. why the apostrophes?
Think about it. They could only get a job at Woolworths.
LIVERPOOL HATES PS3 TOO
'DO YOU HAVE A VALID STUDENT CARD? IF SO YOU CAN GET 10% OF THE NEW PS3 CONSOLE'
Awesome. I wonder which 10% of the unit you get? Hopefully it's not the 10% that causes the rubbish backwards compatibility that prevents you from playing:
Gran Tourismo 4
Guitar Hero
Guitar Hero 2
Every Singstar except Legends
Final Fantasy X
Metal Gear Solid 2
Metal Gear Solid 3
Splinter Cell Chaos Theory
GTA San Andreas
(in other words, every ps2 game that would be worth bringing to a more powerful machine)
Across the street, opposite Blockbuster, there's almost exactly the same sign outside Woolworths.
Amazon sell on every 20 secs.
UKR used to be a funny site now its a funny shite
Okay, just making sure.
On another note;
FUCKING OWNED, SONY. I HOPE HELL SUCKS.
hee hee :)
Gullible twat.
= they'll get EVEN MORE ps3's?
dypskefl - Norwegian term for Italian retailers who break street date promises. (fyi: dyp means low/deep/profound)
LOL! That's ace.
C'mon, it's the humane thing to do.
I just had a scout around in the local towns.
Local Indie: pre-orders = none, stock = 5, sold = 1.
Tesco: Stock = shitloads, sales = bugger all.
PS3's in stock everywhere, zero buzz, clearly poor sales.
In a poor area you cannot expect people to be able to pay half a granf for a games machine and it is showing.
Yesterday, a moronic journalist wrote an article in the "Corriere della Sera" (first newspaper there) about how he felt very very pissed after he bought a PS3 (early) for his son and discovered that "none of our old games worked". He's very angry and writes that he's going to sell it, no matter how much he loses, because he doesn't want it anymore.
The article is still on first page today, and is in the top ten consulted articles.
Now, even clueless readers know how PS3 sucks.
Well, at least he got some money back with his crap article.
http://www.corriere.it/Primo_Piano/Scienze_e_Tecnologie/2007/03_Marzo/22/ps3_failure.shtml
(they added on Sony's request an article "lot's of Ps3 games on day one")
Even though
A: it is their flagship store and been publicised to death
B: Sony gave away 46" HDTVs in the vain hope of selling the bag of shite out on launch
...god what a great end to the week !!!
Sony you are FUCKED!..you just lost another £250,000 with your TV stunt that backfired up your wide, lubricated arse!
My brothers in the UK, the United States salutes you!
I too am feeling quite chuffed at this spectacular turn of events and the way Sony are getting owned an infinite amount of times to the hard, solid earth for this. JOY. ^_^
cheers