Denying the SEGA holocaust since 1996

[UK:RESISTANCE]

[IDIOT TOYS]

HIGHLIGHTS
Oh, how we laughed! Maybe once or twice.

PSP Lie Watch - GT4 Mobile

Sega Park carpet!!

SEGA World Sydney 2

SEGA World, Sydney

SEGA's 1950s sexism

Being horrible about girls

Being nice about girls

*AMAZING* reader Cream porn

SEGA fruit machines

PS3 Lie Watch - Tekken 6

E3 2006 photos

PS3 Lie Watch - The PS3

How is Andy Crane?

Dreamcast bicycle!

The 'SEGA Rap'

OutRun2006 - a celebratory review

PS3 Lie Watch: Motorstorm

OutRun2 Coast2Coast screenshot guide

SEGA's sexy 1990s adverts

SEGA Homestar -- reviewed!

Sega Rally 2006 SHOULD NOT EXIST

Mobile Monkey Ball

Trying to buy an Xbox 360

Microsoft's 'urban youth' Xbox 360 movie

Xbox 360 launch party pics

Origen Zero Hour gonzo report

DoA movie trailer

An actual proper review of Ninja Gaiden Black

Afterburner Climax

Non-sexy PSP porn UMD reviewed

Blog does story about blog doing story (and repeat)

San Andreas class action... thing

More HOT LARA CROFT PORN!

Eminem is in the 50 Cent game :(

HUGE Nintendo DS design flaw discovered

Rolf Harris meets Sonic The Hedgehog

X360 mag reviewed

Nintendogs 'fake dog' photo shame

Joanna Dark's FHM airbrush shame

PSP 2.0 downgrade (a joke)

Miyamoto and puppies

Tokyo Game Show 2005

UK Frag Dolls REVIEWED by sexiness!

THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME

German PSP promo photos

Monkey Ball Sex SHAME

Sonic Team's new project!

New Xbox 360 magazine is 'rubbish'

Tomb Raider Legend PORN SICKNESS

Lan Party photos!!!

Everquest II models' 'pornstar' shame

UKR gaming clan launched!

Project Rub 2 pictures!

LCD and plasma HDTV guide for PS3 and Xbox 360

PSP Lumines 'fan fiction'

PSP Lumines 'sort of review'

GamesMaster visit!

Sega's Homestar

PS3 launch games confirmed!

Xbox 360 launch games revealed!

Trip Hawkins and his Atkins Diet thing

PHOTOS OF RICHARD JACQUES!!!

Great Jobs For Paedophiles

Ulala cosplay

Nokia N-Gage tester "hell"

World of Warcraft "girls"?

San Andreas "Hot Coffee" sex game mod

Stupid woman jealous of Lara Croft

Battle Raper 2 pics

E3 wheelchair groper

Gizmondo E3 booth babes

Sonic CD Superlovers

Fat kid "1337 h4x0r"

PS3 + Killzone 2 LIE WATCH!

Frag Dolls -- Reviewed!

Spurned employee RAMPAGE!

Visiting the Gizmondo shop

Seeing Playboy's Natalie Denning

EA Cricket 2005 'hilarity'

Xbox 360 photos?

"New Games Journalism" anti-manifesto

UKR -- The Mansion

A great Paris Hilton joke

GTA San Andreas Tetris

FIFA Street MP3

PSP battery jokes

Need for Speed Underground 2 HUMILIATION

Richard Jacques update

Kasumi's feet!

Kasumi's panties!

OutRun2, Doom 3 and Fable guide

50 reasons to buy OutRun2

OutRun2 'flag man'

What women drivers really say

Tron loser

PS2 EyeToy OutRun2

DoA Beach Volleyball wallpapers

A day trip to Sega!

NINTENDO Wii IS *DEFINITELY* MEANT FOR WOMEN

Here's another Wii advertorial, this time from the pages of woman's magazine Glamour. And you thought the DS Lite was a bit effeminate...


Wii - For girls

We, er, accidentally bought this while meaning to buy Nuts or Zoo. Or FHM or Maxim or that one about cars.




Pink pages. Nice touch. That'll draw them in.




Still, we mustn't complain. If "the girls" want to stay in and play video games while we go out to drink Stella and snort poppers at strip clubs, that's just fine by us. Sounds like a great emerging new world order, in fact.




We think this panel might be hinting at the fact you can stick it up your fanny.




Just like any other party, only with a games machine awkwardly tagged onto the bottom. You go, girls.




Keep checking Glamour magazine for more Wii exclusives!


ALSO IN GLAMOUR MAGAZINE THIS MONTH:
  • 50 really obvious arguments for car journeys

  • A thing about how celebrities are fat so you feel better

  • Lots of rubbish albums given 5/5

  • How having shoes is better than being thin
  • Labels:

    36 Comments:

    Blogger Tonyator said...

    Would, Would, Would, Would, Would....

    9:12 AM  
    Blogger team evil said...

    Um, has anyone else noticed the embarrassing grammatical error in the 'Top 5 Reasons to Get a Wii Section’? The bit where they write: "Because isn’t about time…" Huh? What kinda English is that? Whoever wrote the feature was obviously drinking heavily. Or a woman… Probably both.

    11:10 AM  
    Blogger RoboSel said...

    This is true.

    I was talking to my sister yesterday about games and I said have you seen the Nintendo Wii? She replied by saying "isn't that the new game thing for girls?" That's done it for me!

    360's shit, PS3's shit and the Wii is for women! What else have are we supposed to play!!?

    11:48 AM  
    Blogger CreamyRabbit said...

    Aye the Wii is for girls or gay men.

    The 360 is for the real men.

    12:12 PM  
    Blogger ThwartedEfforts said...

    Maybe there's some kind of cool hoovering game or a beat-'em up where you have to pull the hair of girls who are thinner and/or more popular than you?

    1:10 PM  
    Blogger se16_BEN_se16 said...

    "With its wireless technology you and your friends can swing the console like a real racket..."

    I'm sure the motion sensor will work just as well if you swing the controller! Their method is akin to holding a pencil still and moving the paper to write a letter!!!

    Maybe this is how Nintendo intend to make money from the Wii! Get everyone to break it at least once a week and then charge them to fix it!!!

    1:48 PM  
    Blogger ThwartedEfforts said...

    BEN is EXCITED!!!

    3:16 PM  
    Blogger MeesChees said...

    D'you notice how the girls in the top photo don't actually appear to have any controllers in their hands?
    I think they may indeed have stuck them up their fannies.

    3:47 PM  
    Blogger CreamyRabbit said...

    Yes.

    The top photo needs some photoshop action.

    5:05 PM  
    Blogger Pepper said...

    Is it me or does the one on the right have three arms?

    Also, why does every Wii feature in a girls mag have to have 'Game On' as the headline - is there a law or something?

    5:50 PM  
    Blogger Rico Ricardo said...

    This is just getting embarrassing... I mean, fair enough, market it to women... but at least make sure you pay them to write real hard facts and not talk utter nonsense.

    Man, it also makes me want to cancel my pre-order... before it makes me get a... preeeeeriord? or something. I don't know.

    Nintendo are making me sad :(

    6:02 PM  
    Blogger Nathan182 said...

    How can you possibly complain about this? Unless you are some 'REAL MAN' who is insecure about which games console he plays. The only thing that is different with the Wii to the other consoles is that it actually offers girls the chance to get into gaming whereas the other 2 base their products only at men, how many women do you know that want to play Gears of War for example. The Wii has games that both Men AND Women can enjoy, which games coming out for the Wii would suggest that it is for women? Just because it isn't full of blood and guts and the use of a swear word in every sentence does not make it a 'girly' console that men should forget about playing if they want to keep respect, from all of your 'manly' friends. Hey even if you still refuse to play games like Super Monkey Ball (you would be missing out) the Wii still has games to cater for you 'Red Steel' or 'Zelda' ring any bells? Ubisoft, renowned for FPS games have signed a deal with Nintendo to make games for the Wii, this should fulfill all of your 'manly' needs, if in fact you are naiive enough to write of the console as 'a console for girls'. I personally think allowing everyone to play the Wii is a breath of fresh air and I welcom all the new gamers it will bring with open arms.

    6:21 PM  
    Blogger Branch-me-do said...

    Firstly, we need to buy t-shirts, people! Maybe then Zorg can afford to buy a mobile phone with a flash for its camera, so when he's photographing his mum's magazines everything doesn't come out all dull, blurry and orangey.

    Secondly, "we all need something the boys want but can't get their hands on?" What, having your minge, arse and tits locked away aren't enough, YOU FUCKING FRIGID BI..... er...

    6:49 PM  
    Blogger Aran said...

    I got my Wii on Sunday, and already Monday morning I woke up feeling "different". For no reason at all I started giving my girlfriend the silent treatment and am now having an unbearable craving for chocolate, cupcakes, and shoe shopping. This Wii is too potent. Its going for sale on eBay immediately!

    6:54 PM  
    Blogger Wratty said...

    i love the fact that your google ads down the side are now pointing me in the direction of "Girls knickers at adams"

    that alone has to be your greatest feat to date mr zorg

    9:14 PM  
    Blogger shonky said...

    I wonder what Nathan182 Googled to accidently end up on UKR.

    9:33 PM  
    Blogger shonky said...

    Quote - i love the fact that your google ads down the side are now pointing me in the direction of "Girls knickers at adams"

    I guess that answers my question.

    9:34 PM  
    Blogger Baphomet said...

    Congratulations Nathan182!!

    You win today's "Obligatory Sony/Microsoft/Nintendo* fanboy who doesn't really get the joke" award!!

    *Delete as approriate.

    10:54 PM  
    Blogger Halverde said...

    "Nintendini cocktails"! See, Nintendo doesn't just cater to kids (they're drinking Nintendini cider in a bus stop).

    Alternatively, you can make your own Sony cocktails using a pint of bullshit and all the money you can find.

    11:26 PM  
    Blogger Nathan182 said...

    Baphomet, this may be a joke, but many people actually share the view portrayed in the article and I had to get my view across.
    This page is on Newsnow.co.uk a popular news site and it is actually listed as the top 'News' of the day, that's how I got onto this page.

    12:10 AM  
    Blogger V1L3 said...

    "Because isn't it about time computers were for made for girls not guys?"

    Well geez. I'm just going to have to break the news to my girlfriend that it was WRONG of her to enjoy playing Baldur's Gate and Phantasy Star Online, because apparently all games (up until now) have been "for made for guys."

    4:30 AM  
    Blogger V1L3 said...

    They also left off the part about hiring an electrician to come around to your house and install it for you.

    After you and your friend have sex with him of course.

    4:36 AM  
    Blogger Neovanglist said...

    In the second image:

    "He controls the TV remote - I control the Wii..."

    The only truth in the entire article :<

    5:44 AM  
    Blogger ScSiDaN said...

    how did team evil notice the "grammatical error"? i never got passed the first picture

    6:10 AM  
    Blogger team evil said...

    Because I have to sub edit mindless bullshit for a living. Can't help picking up mistakes :(

    8:35 AM  
    Blogger Night_Trekker said...

    would without hesitation, might, probably would, definitely would

    9:34 AM  
    Blogger Starke said...

    Guys, leave poor Nathan alone, I'm guessing he's either a "new man" (under the thumb) or a "metrosexual" (fucking idiot).

    Whatever he is, he's a ranting dullard who should actually read what Zorg's written before going on his cut copy paste speech which he'll have posted on ever website with any kind of affiliation to games.

    10:34 AM  
    Blogger jawa said...

    Yay! Its been ages since we ganged up on someone.

    Nathan182 - although your comments smack of sweaty handed sincerity you have landed yourself in the wrong place. Last time i saw sincerity on UKR was when Zorg posted his fuck list of tokyo game girls.

    (i dont think it was titled like that though)

    11:08 AM  
    Blogger Starke said...

    It should have been!

    3:23 PM  
    Blogger Joe said...

    *Looks at Nathan182*

    Lookee here boys, I think we got ourselves a queer!

    10:13 PM  
    Blogger nothingbettert'do said...

    Nathan needs his oestrogen.

    Anyone can tell that Zorg's main target here is embarassing marketing twaddle.

    9:30 PM  
    Blogger dw2k6 said...

    anyone notice it says nintendini coctails?

    5:11 PM  
    Blogger Bluetooth said...

    Cupcakes and Wii in the same article, all this in a glossy women's magazine? Eolution at work, surely.

    8:19 PM  
    Blogger sparklerouge said...

    Well i am of the female gendre and ive been playing computer games since i was 3! So I love all the consoles even the ones that are supposedly "manly" whatever that means so there!

    6:02 PM  
    Blogger Stacy Kidd said...

    I am a women and I'm not a huge fan of the Wii (although yes, Wii Sports entertained me a little). What irritates me is the fact that a lot of people assume that as a female, I know little about videogaming - despite the fact I work in Gamestation - and some of the time I'll find customers walking past me to discuss gaming-related queries to a male member of staff (who will occasionally pass them over to me anyway). Just remember, not all women buy crappy publications like Cosmo and Heat! -- Stacy K. wwwstacykidd.co.uk

    9:24 PM  
    Blogger person said...

    theres ONE thing tht must be sed..
    you dont fukin snort poppers fukin queers who work on this site dnt noe shit about how amyl nitrate is INHALED. its a vapour dumbass.

    1:57 PM  

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    A SEGA doormat in Japan!

    2006 video game BAFTAs

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