UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
Overall sales DOWN! Profit DOWN! Hardware sales DOWN! Software sales DOWN! Everything DOWN, DOWN, DOWN!

Apart from the price, which it can't lower because if it did it'd have to sack a few thousand more office cleaners to help pay for it.


'Luxembourg remained flat'

Full facts on Sony's DISASTER here, summary taken from emerging markets gaming blog VG247. Here's a link to a serious report in case you need one. And another one. We can't stop reading different angles!




Oh, and Kotaku's got a graph. You can never have enough sources when the news is this good.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Hey Zorg

Your website sucks

It used to be good

But now it sucks

Please start doing decent updates again

Love,

Anon

x
Blogger Cmdr_Zorg said...
Go and find some photos of me on the internet and see if my face looks bothered.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
http://www.techdigest.tv/gary%20and%20sonic.JPG
You look fairly concerned to me.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
http://www.techdigest.tv/gary%20and%20sonic.JPG
You look fairly concerned to me.
Blogger Cmdr_Zorg said...
That's just my "don't show your wonky teeth in this once-in-a-lifetime photo opportunity" smile.
Blogger Badben said...
Nice double post. You lose, Anonymous, and I haven't even looked at your picture
Blogger Badben said...
Nice double post. You lose, Anonymous, and I haven't even looked at your picture
Blogger Phill said...
This was even mentioned on BBC radio 4 this morning.

Sony profits down 95% this last quarter. They predict a loss of 2.9 billion dollars over the year.
http://edition.cnn.com/2009/BUSINESS/01/29/sony.loss/

Sony blamed the world economic downturn. Doesn't seem to have effected Nintendo though. Their profits were up 30% in the same quarter.

Sony is still Global leader though. Of course it is. Kaz said so.

I think Sony's fortunes could be saved if they'd only release the virtual reality headset that Kaz is obviously plugged into.
Blogger Deejay said...
Anon, I've been waiting for this for ten years, and will gloat along with the rest of UK:R for as long as possible.

Now fuck off and die. Hopefully by being raped to death whilst having your face held in the flames of your mother's burning corpse.
Anonymous Carr said...
Badben, that's possibly the most ironic double post in history.
Blogger munificent said...
The 2009 Tourettes Award for most extravagant abuse in a forum post goes to..... Deejay!

Congratulations. Maybe you'd like to say a few words?
Blogger Deejay said...
@munificent

Cunts!
Anonymous Lesbian Montage said...
I don't care any more. The only current gen console (360) I have it boxed up ready to be ebayed if I can be bothered. Been like that for 3 months.

It's all over, nothing is good.
Blogger Phill said...
How much do you want for it carpet muncher? I'll swap you for a flashed PSP
Blogger weatherbox said...
Huzzah! Schadenfreude my old friend, welcome back. This is some grade 'A' hatred Zorg, and if the truth be told I have 'chubbed up'. Me and Sony have this totally sadomasochistic relationship you see, and I'm very much the 'top', and Sony makes for a very subservient 'bottom' these days. If anybody else wants to have their way with the filthy little harlot then be my guest. She'll take it in all holes without so much as a whimper, unless you demand that she whimper, or call you 'papa'.

Also, to the sapphic entrepreneur - any interest in flogging me a wireless controller for that Xbox on the cheep? I'm willing to pay less than what you'll get for it on ebay if that incentivises the transaction at all.
Anonymous Nebagram said...
What happened to the story about Virtua Tennis being promoted by Serbian jailbait that was at the top of the page this morning?

word verification 'sublermo'- Sony's execs trying to say 'our profits are sublime' then actually looking at the figures halfway through the sentence.
Anonymous Photoboy said...
I hope she's not jailbait, I was busy googling for nude pics this morning.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
This a mere week after Sony somehow had the temerity to claim it was the market leader!
Anonymous Anonymous said...
what's the wanking equivalent of a dry heave?

I've been so excited by this news, I doubt my man juices will top up again before Sony ever make another profit.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
It's known, I believe, as "chucking salt".
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I think it was called "dry reaching".
Anonymous Anonymous said...
You can tell Zorg's heart is only in it when he's bashing Sony these days.

Sad. So sad.
Blogger Lebowski said...
Welcome to UKR
Enjoy your stay Anon
Blogger colin said...
One down; two to go.

Play Atari.

When did the word verifications become real words? Mine is Master. Somebody get the Doctor. Oh my, I just revealed that I don't think everything made over there in Europeina is complete trash. Okay, you have Doctor Who, The Raccoons and her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, and outside of that, nothing.
Blogger colin said...
Whoops. Just checked and The Raccoons is made here in Canada. So you're down to having two things making you slightly more than completely useless.
Anonymous Photoboy said...
I think it's time you apologised for Celine Dion.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
To be honest, we have a spare royal family hanging around doing nothing. You can have it if you want Canadia, we know the Aussies don't want them. Please, take them.

PS The Raccoons were shite.
Blogger weatherbox said...
The best thing about The Raccoons was the end title sequence music:

"Run with us, we have fi-yah in our he-ar-arts, run with us, we are freeeee (synth bit)."

Made me feel like I could conquer the fucking world that did. Of course, it wasn't long after that I discovered computer games, no I'll be lucky to conquer my own crippling self-doubt around women, eh lads?
Blogger ChaosAngelZero said...
"Everything DOWN, DOWN, DOWN!"

You know this boogie is for real...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGjC0wbUXzk
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I've been having a Tussle with my Love Muscle since 11:40 on Friday 29th of Jan. Had to call it a day now, as the cramps in my hand were killing me, but all this information - Kotaku graphs, Danish Sales Growth etc, has done more to keep me wooden than an internet full of hardcore smut.

I'm only sad Norris McWhirter wasn't alive to verify my world record shattering continuous knuckle shuffle efforts, although in fairness Sony do deserve half the credit for being my inspiration.

I think I only faltered now because someone mentioned the Raccoons, which was best left to obscurity. Are there any decent Canadian cartoons?... Yvon of The Yukon ? Yvon isn't even a bird?!? Weirdo's.
Blogger Apples and Oranges said...
Just as planned. <3

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