UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
It would appear that the world's last remaining stocks of Sonic toys have been dumped in a place called King's Island. There now follows way more information that you actually need regarding King's Island.




"Away and across the pond, there's a place called Kings Island that people used to like to go to. Kids liked the Hanna-Barbera themed kiddie rides, and adults could enjoy a multitude of rides based on hit Paramount movies."




"But this past season, a larger amusement park company bought the park, but none of the rights. Top Gun became 'Flight Deck', Tomb Raider was genericized to 'The Crypt' and the Italian Job was demoted to the unfortunate title of 'Backlot Stunt Coaster'."




"Of course, the ride names weren't the only thing to go. The Happy Land of Hanna-Barbera was perverted into the 'Nickelodeon Universe', and familiar carnival game prizes like Hong Kong Phooey and Huckleberry Hound toys were replaced by crunchy, stiff Pokemon plushes and Sonic dolls with wonky eyes, though I guess we're pretty used to wonky-eyed Sonics by now."




"Anyway, I've attached some pictures showing the sheer magnitude of how many of these dolls there are all over the place. This email's long enough, so I'll just leave some additional commentary if you decide to post this. Cheerios" - Sam.




Thanks, Sam. They would appear to be relatively poor plushes featuring disappointingly low production values, but it's still pleasant to see a place where Sonic triumphs over Disney shite.




Bad eyes. And how come Big The Cat is still being manufactured?




Knuckles is warning the fat man to steer clear of his bitch.
Anonymous Tampon The Tankengine said...
Oh bloody hell, I'll comment then. Umm... tum-te-tum...

Nope, I can't think of anything to say about this.
Blogger Ren said...
Best post ever (Well for a while anyway).

10/10
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Top quality UK:R. Would read again. A+++++++
Blogger Tomleecee said...
Those new Sonic Adventure era plush things are pretty shit aren't they?
Anonymous Sam said...
i made sure to get a good picture of amy for you. it was also to showcase the cobwebs all over her face that tell just how excited people are to win these sonic dolls.

i was also going to get a shot of what mysteries lie below her skirt, but there were some kids eating big american ice creams and watching me suspiciously, probably because most people take pictures of their family at king's island, and not the prizes.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Six Flags ruins everything they touch.
Anonymous Naveed said...
ummmm i don't know the hell king's island is but everything you said (a larger amusement park company bought the park, but none of the rights. Top Gun became 'Flight Deck', Tomb Raider was genericized to 'The Crypt' and the Italian Job was demoted to the unfortunate title of 'Backlot Stunt Coaster) applies to Paramount Canada's Wonderland in Toronto, Canada. sooooo either that's a huge coincidence or you're lying. or talking about the wrong place.

-koval-
Anonymous Naveed said...
or....i'm an idiot and king's island is what canada's wonderland is called now......my bad.....

-koval-
Anonymous Anonymous said...
the formerly paramount owned theme park in california was called great america and has also turned to shit. the last time i was there was four years ago and they actually had a bunch of sonic plushies there back then. i remember casually saying in passing to a friend of mine that i'd kill for one, and the chick at the counter looked at me strangely. then i smacked that bitch in the face- she deserved it.
Anonymous Terry Bogard The Tankengine said...
Perhaps there is a company that specialises in no copywrite versions of licensed rides? When you don't want to pay the cash any more you ring these guys and they come with their packs of alternative decorations. Hence (possibly) 2 different locations having the exact same replacements. Both parks might be owned by the same people, probably are.

Or it's the most incredible coincidence known to mankind.
Anonymous Sam said...
nah, that guy admitted he was wrong. i've never heard it called canada's wonderland though. but yeah, i can't believe how incredibly generic the ride names got. the whole point of the park was the paramount movie theme. my sister said that even drop zone is now just drop tower. when someone else buys the park again but doesnt buy the rights, i shudder to think what the names will be. "10mph children's coaster" or "wooden coaster with two loops"?
Anonymous letsgetacid said...
There was (maybe it's still there?) a Kings Island in Ohio somewhere. I remember going there as a kid and being thoroughly amused.
Anonymous Sam said...
there is one still there...because that's THE king's island. it's in cincinnati, so now you know where i live. great.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
make sam a writer on here, he is funny and not a tool like most people who still like sonic. (myself included)
Anonymous R said...
Wow, another Ohioan on UKR...and I thought I was the only one. Never actually bothered to make it to King's Island/whatever its called now - lived too close to Cedar Point.
Anonymous Sam said...
it's called king's island now, it was just called paramount's kind's island before. though with how generic everything got to be, it should be called 'male monarch's piece of land completely surrounded by water'.

and even though that anonymous post was in my favor, i swear it wasn't me. someone else just happens to not use capitalization either.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I win tons of those cheap things at the State Fair every year. They fall apart.

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