UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
Great news from the financial markets! Sony, the manufacturer of over-priced and always-breaking electronics, has issued a profit warning, saying that demand for its over-priced and always-breaking electronics has fallen.

People are finally SEEING.

Today shall forever be known to the financial world as "Pink Thursday."

Here's how a city broker reacted to the news.


Anonymous Trilby said...
It's already raw from the sales figures and now this. Soon there'll be nothing but blood coming out :(
Anonymous Anonymous said...
PS3 bad news with substance? On my UK:R?
Blogger gaijintendo said...
Looks like they installed the tables too high at the Tokyo Stock Exchange
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Always-breaking? Have you ever used an Xbox 360? Microsoft have taken one of Sony's crowns, at least.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Yeah I agree - as much as I hate Sony (and believe me I do), the 360 has a far worse reliability record than the PS3.
Anonymous Carr said...
Haven't you Anonymous cunts ever used a Sony DVD player? Or TV? Or MP3 player? Seven months of use, at best, before they break.
Anonymous PhotoBoy said...
We're not going to have another synchronised wank are we? As I've just ruined another keyboard and my monitor needs wiping down.

Should I be worried about spontaneous ejaculation at the sight of Sony misfortune? Perhaps I should use caution when entering a games shop and seeing the piles of unsold PS3 boxes...
Blogger Dead Man Typing said...
It's not about how many 360's break. It's about how Sony continues to fail in the face of so many 360's breaking.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I've always found Sony stuff to be very reliable.

At least Sony are still in the console manufacturing business, unlike a certain other Japanese company with a four letter name beginning with 'S'.....
Blogger Badben said...
When will people learn that this is not the forum for reasonable comments about consoles comparitive functionality?

WE DON'T CARE! We just like to see Sony BLEEDING and IN PAIN. I actually can't wank any more over this, I'm just a dried husk of a man at the moment
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That kind of attitude isn't gonna get you very far in life now is it? What about the Sony employees and their families? What about their futures if Sony went bust?

It would be no joke then would it? Or are you so sick you get pleasure from seeing people starving and hungry on the streets?!

What kind of site is this?
Blogger Neil said...
To anonymous Sony employee sympathiser - watch this (takes a minute to get to the important bit):
Anonymous Anonymous said...
It's the kind of site that gets pleasure from seeing people starving and hungry on the streets. Moreso if they were previously employees of Sony.
Anonymous Martin said...
"What kind of site is this?"

You obviously don't know, so FUCK OFF!

That kind of site, actually.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
@ Martin
I do know what kind of site this is actually, and I actually quite like it (having been reading it on and off for a few years now).

Calm down dear, one is only pulling ones leg.

But Sony stuff is reliable. Fact. I think I've still got a Walkman from the 80s floating around somewhere that I guarantee you would still work.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
In the year 2048 we'll still be tracking down former Sony employees in the jungles of Brazil to ensure they are brought to justice.

They started it.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I'm not anonymous, by the way. 'Anonymous' is my user name.

Clever eh?
Blogger AT said...
The reason that guy is grinning is because he's playing Bonanza Bros on an emulator.
Blogger bilal said...
I've been saving myself for just this kind of update.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Perhaps SEGA could buy the PS3 from Sony - they'd only need to change 3 letters in the name. Then everything would be right with the world. Hunger would end, Osama Bin Laden would give up and the world would become all lovely and nice. Imagine the tagline: PlayStation3 from S3GA
Anonymous dai said...

But how would we get the PS3 to take cartridges like a PROPER REAL CONSOLE?
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What like the Dreamcast?
Anonymous Anonymous said...
...and the Saturn?
Anonymous Anonymous said...
The Saturn did have cartridges. Battery back up ones, and RAM expansion packs. That's real innovation.

Oh the hours I spent, Joypad in hand, with a whole FOUR MEGABYTES of extra memory in that slot. I didn't even have the strength to muster a game of Streetfighter Vs Xmen after the forceful ejaculation knowing I had that much memory available induced.

"Copy the Data from the Internal to External back-up Memory" was also more fun than anything on the Playstations of the day.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
@anonymous (the one who was talking about his walkman)-
sony stuff from the 80s was reliable. i still have a sony clock radio from then, and my grandad still has a sony stereo, both of which are in full working order (and the clock radio has been knocked on the floor more times than i can count)

BUT now they're shit, as the following will attest-

sony telly from the late 90s=now displays only in black and white
sony playstation 1=disc motor broken
1990s walkman=broken
2 pairs of 2000s sony headphones=broken
1 other pair of 2000s sony headphones=held together with sellotape, sound only in one ear unless they are feeling generous
2000s sony cd player=temperamental
2000s sony batteries=leaked
2000s sony cd-rw drive=constant read/write errors
2000s sony ericsson phone=stupid "joystick" thing broken
playstation 2=still works (a fluke surely, it's the original model and they were the 360s of their day)

the only electronics company i've had worse experiences with is philips. fuck philips.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I once had a Sony TV and it exploded!
It took the whole fucking back-porch out and three members of my family!

Then I bought a Saturn with the inheritance and one day (whilst my back was turned) some of the chips that nobody could figure out how to program went and recostructed the porch and my family in a weird Batteries Not Included style event.

So yeah....
Anonymous Anonymous said...
@ Anonymous
I've had a ps2 since launch. Have had no problems with it what-so-ever.
PS3 - solid as a rock.
2 Sony Bravia TVs - fantastic. NO problems.
Sony clock radio - it wakes me up a treat!
Sony Minidisc player - still works like a charm (shame the Minidisc as a fomat is dead. dead.)
PSP Lite - Again, no problems at all.

I was gonna buy a Dreamcast, but then Sega went bust. Bit of a shitter, that.

I'll agree with you on the Sony-Ericsson phones though. Pants.


@ Anonymous
It exploded? Have you never watched 'The Office'? As Gareth shows - it's dangerous to balance a cup of tea on top of electrical equipment.
Anonymous cOD said...
i could be wrong but the Saturn used a 4 MegaBit add-on cartridge not 4 MegaByte.

there are 8 Bits in a Byte which would make the cartridge only 512 Kilobytes large.

which is even more impressive. it's like when Commodore released the 512K add-on for the Amiga 500, oh happy days.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Some of you seem to neglect the fact that MSFT is struggling as well.

And now to join the flame war: M$ is a steaming pile of shit and their Breaxbox360 sucks worse than a ten-year-old from Thailand!!!111!1 OMGWTFLOL
Anonymous Anonymous said...
No you enormous tool, MS just posted record profits for this quarter that make Sony look like a pauper who's just had his legs stolen.

Anyway this isn't about Microsoft, it's about how Sony are paying for their invasion of a market they never should have entered. Twats killed Sega is the point.
Anonymous PhotoBoy said...
I don't know what you're all talking about. Sony hardware is really reliable! I've had a PS2 acting as a doorstop since launch and it still works as a doorstop, it's never failed, no matter how many times I've kicked it and called it a cunt for killing the Dreamcast.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Talking about swan songs, eh? Or not reading the news properly...

Anyway, a free market is open for everyone and Sony seemed to have a good business model. The major selling point was the huge library of high-profile third-party titles. And some funny viral marketing (something MSFT tried for its original Xbox and failed). Just because the Saturn, despite some very good games, was a pain to program for and many games looked worse on it (see the lack of perspective correction in many games as one example), you feel betrayed by Sony? You might have two deja vu moments, now.

Sony simply placed their bets on new technologies and managed to prevail victorious. The only thing they screwed up with on the PS3 was the reading speed of its blu-ray player. Something that should be fixable with a firmware upgrade. You see, if they had used a 4x speed drive, the Xbox360 would already have been left behind and all those lengthy installs would have been unnecessary. Yes, the Xbox360 is easier to port games from a PC to, but that doesn't make it a better console. See another deja vu with your Dreamcast 2? Remember the early days of the Dreamcast? I am certain that the PS3 will get over this, as well.

Good day. This site has been a nice read, as always.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Nope, I'm sure that the Saturn SF Vs Xmen cart was 4MB. That's a capital "B", which means "Byte", not "Bit".

The back up card was 512K though I think.
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