"News just in: people are still IDIOTS. Don't know if you've seen GAME's Greatest Games of All Time list (chosen by the proles for the proles) but in a total not-shocking turn of events it's predicatbly moronic with Call of Duty 4 coming out in the top spot and GTAIV hitting the number four spot, games most people would have barely spent seconds playing before voting for them. The rest of the list is mostly made up of shit people only vote for because they're repeatedly told by others that the games are amazing.
"In response to this depressingly retarded turn of events I've put the list through a RIGOROUS and SCIENTIFIC process whereby I've removed every game that has only been out for 18 months, every game which only made it onto the list because it has already appeared on every single other "100 Greatest Games Ever" list (Mario, Zelda, Final Fantasy, etc) and every football game (immediate disqualification on grounds of not really being videogames) as well as every game only played by rabid PC nerds who only ever play one game (Warcraft, Command and Conquer, Counter Strike, etc). The remaining games are, therefore UNDENIABLY the hundred greatest games of all time.
"The resulting list reads as follows:
1-20 Sonic The Hedgehog (SEGA Mega Drive)
21-40 Elite (BBC Micro)
41-60 Shenmue (SEGA Dreamcast)
61-80 Sonic The Hedgehog 2 (SEGA Mega Drive)
81-100 TimeSplitters 2 (Multiformat)
"Can't argue with the science - Dolan."
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. ELSEWHERE ON "THE NETWORK" #00028 GAMES NIGHT SOCK-CHANGING MYSTERY FORTUNATELY, THIS LISTING HAS ENDED METAL GEAR SOLID 4 HAS "MINIMAL" IMPACT ON PS3 SAL... MUSIC FESTIVALS SHOULD BE NUKED FROM SPACE THE ULTIMATE SHAME OF ROCK BAND SEGA TOYS TO RELEASE 'SEX ROBOT' THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
Sort it out GAME !! you bunch of Tools !
i hate humans
IT'S A FUCKING DEMO YOU CRETINS.
Christ, this really is a shambolic list. Never EVER trust the public.
Although I guess if you're 8 years old and your only experience of gaming has been GTA4 then what you gonna do?
Go out carjacking due to the horrendous lack of youth clubs in inner-cities?
What about:
Glider Rider ( Amstrad CPC )
Sonic ( MD )
SS Lucifer ( MD )
Elite ( CPC )
Paperboy ( Arcade )
Point Blank 1-3 ( PS One with Lightgun )
Also what, Sonic 2 but no Sonic CD above it? People have no taste. I hope at least Super Mario World gets a place in the top 5.
What calls this list into question is that some old classics were voted in there by the same people who voted COD4, GTAIV, Halo 3 and Gears of War into the top 10! (I love H3 and Gears, but they're not top 10 material).
Also, I do find it ironic how a list of the greatest games of all time does not actually include the greatest game of all time: Panzer Dragoon Saga.
I'd boycot Game in protest if 1) I cared that much 2) I shopped there anyway.
Did any of the Need For Speed games after its urban shittening appear?
It's probably just as well. Youthclubs are just full of self-aggrandising ex-gangsters who send people out to murder drug dealers.
If I learned nothing else from GTAIV, I learned that.
21, that's at least that game that Gary talks about with the dancing and spaceships on the Dreamcast.
And where's Oids for the Atari ST? Huh?
Cunt.
"Killzone for me was the greatest game of all time because it was the first FPS I ever bought and it had the right kind of story..."
First FPS you ever bought, huh? So this makes you qualified to talk about games, how? Also, Killzone's story, rofl.
(I want to believe)
And where the bloody buggering hell is Chaos on the Spectrum?
(and while we're at it, Rez, Portal, Bubble Bobble, Katamari Damacy, Turrican, etc etc)
To misquote Peep Show, "People like Coldplay and voted for Killzone. You can't trust people"