UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
REVENGE IS SWEET! Remember all those shitty PlayStation ports we had to put up with on the Saturn? PAYBACK TIME IS NOW, thanks to PS3 getting a piss-poor and delayed version of The Orange Box crudely forced out in time to ruin Christmas for anyone that gets given it.

From IGN's review of The Orange Box on PS3:

Empty brown box

It's a jerky mess, basically. Because PS3 suffers from the double shame of being rubbish AND hard to make games for. Hopefully nobody will buy this EA-produced mess - it will teach EA to not support the Dreamcast.

Here's a list we've been working on, just in case you know anyone stupid enough to be contemplating buying a PS3 for Christmas.
Assassin's Creed - "...a mocking shadow of the Xbox 360 version"

Pro Evo 2008 - "Konami Digital Entertainment is aware that some players of PES2008 are experiencing 'stuttering' by their machine when playing on PS3"

The Orange Box - "The 360 version takes about three seconds to load your last checkpoint if you die. The PS3 version takes seventeen"

Splinter Cell: DA - "...even though the game is belittled so dramatically from a visual perspective, it still manages to run at a lower frame rate than the Xbox 360 version"

And so on.
Blogger Josh said...
This is all pretty dissapointing. Most of my friends have a 360 now, and want me to join them, so we can all get together on Live, but I was holding out. I was holding out, for the PS3 to come good, I admit it. Sure getting on Live with them for some SHOOTAN GAEMS would be fun, but... FF, MGS, Team Ico, all the sleeper hits and JRPGs of the PS and PS2 that I love... I want it to happen for the PS3.

Ahh but fuck it, I'll go back to the PS, play some Valkyrie Profile. I don't really care about any of the current gen consoles.
Blogger amagni said...
You fools! Don't you know the PS3 is busy thinking about curing cancer all day?

It doesn't have time for frivolous things like playing games!
Blogger Al said...
Those of us who prefer our first person shootery delights to involve a mouse are now luxuriating in a whole host of custom maps for TF2 (many with blue skies) and 32 player server limits.

Mindyou, I've found myself playing peggle instead.
Blogger Slaaaaabs said...
You just know some cunt will mention the slightly superior version of Oblivion without noting that it took exactly ONE YEAR to arrive on the PS3.

Lost Planet also looks like it will be ugly on the PS3.
Blogger Cunzy11 said...
Oh man. Imagine being excited about Lost Planet.
Blogger slim1945 said...
"Here's a list we've been working on, just in case you know anyone stupid enough to be contemplating buying a PS3 for Christmas."

While i pride myself with knowing some of the the country's top stupid people, none of them have shown the level of complete brain dysfunction necessary to purchase a PS3.

This situation is a disappointment to me as i have always justified my own sad existence by surrounding myself with the lowest forms of humanity and without a PS3 owning acquaintance my life still seems meaningless.
Blogger arancarlisle said...
Yeah, but you can make a virtual apartment on your PS3 and have your avatar sit down on a couch and watch movies. Or is Home not out yet on the PS3?

I don't know. I've been too busy with the Check Mii Out channel to follow this next-gen stuff.
I've just gone and "upgraded" to a PS3 on the advice of that nice Gary Cutlack...

Gary Cutlack's Games choice

Guitar Hero III, for the PS2, is perfect for Holly's latent axe heroine. But perhaps it's time to upgrade her console: the PS3's Uncharted: Drake's Fortune is a polished blockbuster, while Eye of Judgment is a fantasy-based party game that uses a webcam to keep track of how you're playing. Gary Cutlack writes for

Source of shame:,,2224433,00.html
Blogger Darren said...
This is a classic PES2008 doesn't run properly on a PS3 "After checking the matter we have found that the problem is primarily taking place where the user is not playing the game in high definition." and do you know what the solution is?
The solution to this problem is to play the game on an HD TV (high definition screen) with an HDMI or component cable and the PS3 set to output in 720p resolution or above. This should prevent the problem and allow the player to enjoy the full HD experience provided by their PlayStation 3.

No let me tell you what the solution is. You don't spunk up £349 for a confused media centre that doesn't run gamesw properly then spunk another £600 on a HD TV.
You just buy an Xbox 360 and run it on your nice Standard Def TV and save yourself some cash to buy little Johnny an overpriced Wii for christmas
Blogger Mainman said...
More and more, the PS3 is looking like a modern-day CD-i to me. Perhaps Nintendo should licence a few characters for game appearences on the Playstation and set the ball rolling?

jgywffr - Describes any dog-related cash-in game on the DS.
Blogger Otama said...
In Australia, some of us buy HDTVs and games and stuff by having babies and getting a baby bonus of $4000.

Anyway, I think I've got a a bigger scoop than PS3 demolition, someting that involves Sonic. Cmdr Zorg, look for the e-mail "WORLD'S BIGGEST SONIC RIPOFF" I sent you. It might be a few pages back.

nininini-A Monty Python fan in the snowfields
Blogger Resident said...
Not being a complete fuckhead, I have a 360, PS3 and Wii.

I bought Orange Box for 360 (being that EA can't port for crap), but I'm sticking with the PS3 for the majority of multi-plat games (Assassin's Creed) because I have one of those suck-ass 360s that doesn't have HDMI... You know, that new cable that everyone's talking about that's better than component?

As for the Wii... Yeah, I bought Galaxy. Is there any other reason to have one?
Blogger Fiddy-Pence said...
Yeah I know what you mean. Many's an evening where I find myself talking about cables. In fact perhaps I talk about them *too* much?
Blogger Resident said...
Fiddy: If your cheeks aren't a pale shade of blue when you have them around your neck while you touch yourself, you're not doing it tight enough.
Blogger Fiddy-Pence said...
When my cheeks are round my neck?!

I thought I knew every perversion going but you have proved me wrong sir, I doth my cap to you.

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