UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
And he clearly spent a lot of time doing it so we pretty much have to upload them, due to being nice like that.

there once was a game about buggies
that was loved by a bunch of dumb druggies
they spent their life savings
to fulfill their cravings
for a game with a palette like used huggies

there once was a ken kutaragi
whose business sense was somewhat foggy
he thought consumers would beg
to pay an arm and a leg
to watch the ballad of ricky bobby

the ps3's new iteration
of character manipulation
lets you wave it around
which is much more profound
an advancement than played-out "vibration"

the ps3's much-vaunted cell
is causing developers hell
says sony, "we don't care,
they'll just use middleware"
does the name "saturn" ring a bell?

though sony remains yet defiant
and their legions of fanboys compliant
i wish they'd take pains
to kindly explains
why the thing must be so fucking giant

who cares if the loading screen drags
and character switches cause lags
the ps3's blu-ray
will carry the day
'cuz hard drive caching is for fags

there once was a game-playing Brit
who practically chomped at the bit
for the day ps3s
would be shipped overseas
wait 'til he finds out it's such shit

killzone 2 was shown at e3
and filled all the masses with glee
said phil harrison, "now I'm
swearing this is real-time
and not a pre-render, no sirree"

the launch of the ps3 must
be considered no less than a bust
when every best buy
has a table stacked high
with "new" boxes gathering dust

i'm hardly in microsoft's lap
but the ps3's lineup is crap
when a simplistic, lame
converted flash game
is ever called a "killer app"

about lair, all the tongues started waggin'
when youtube clips showed massive laggin'
in a game filled with fights
against humanoid sprites
and an ugly semen-covered dragon

the ps3's control ports were zero
which meant there'd be no guitar hero
for jimmy to play,
and so since that day,
he has felt like a big stupid queero

It's not every day things like this happen.
Blogger jawa said...
That was by Andrew Motion wasn't it?
Blogger phorenzik said...
Here's one for you:

The PS3 is as large,
as a brightly decorated barge,
It's games are all rubbish,
It's surely not going to flourish,
now I'm off now to eat some lard.

I know it was wank. so don't bother posting to tell me it was.
Blogger jeanette said...
Please delete this. I don't care how much time he spent on it, it's shite and shouldn't be forced on anyone else. The wank one from phorenzik was more tolerable. In fact, replace the original post with that and let's pretend that the other one never happened.
Blogger The "Director" said...
that was a waste of time though clever.
Blogger SMEGHaMMeR said...
I'd say that that guy's trying too hard. But then I'd just be re-inforcing the fact that there really is no pleasing some people =]
Blogger James said...
there once was a game console thing
ming ping ding sing-a-ding
it was overpriced
this line doesn't rhyme
oh ring-ping-a-ping-a-ping ping!

Mr Biffo used to write these but his were good and funny.

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