Modern 'pads' are much more dependent on thumbs than wrists. In fact, it's pretty much nothing to do with the wrist at all these days - unless you're a fat 45-year-old marketing man with no new ideas for weak sexual innuendo to sell your tat to some idiots.
JOKES AMERICA STILL HAS TO COME
"Push my buttons" - sounds a bit like turning a woman on "Let me go on top" - split-screen gaming phrase that sounds a bit like a sexual position "Waggle my stick" - by 'stick' they might actually mean 'cock' and by 'waggle' they might mean 'masturbate' or 'rub' even though no one uses sticks any more "You came up my arse" - driving game reference that could also possibly also infer anal sex "Let's take turns" - possible roasting/group sex multiplayer misunderstanding with hilarious and/or sexual harassment in the workplace consequences. "There's a party in my pocket" - your new handheld gaming device is as much fun as having a wank
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. SOUTHAMPTON SEGA WORLD - CARPET EXCLUSIVE SEGA WORLD SYDNEY WASN'T WORTH GETTING EXCITED ABO... WE WERE IN SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA, AND SAW A SIGN SAYIN... CREAM THE RABBIT CAR CRASH PORN MOVIE (PART 2) PLAYSTATION SPOT LAUNCHES TODAY! LET'S SCROLL AWAY THE BADNESS, WITH A TRIP TO SEGA... CREAM THE RABBIT CAR CRASH PORN MOVIE (PART 1) SOMETHING ELSE WE HAVE IN COMMON WITH SEGA A DULL REMINDER ABOUT THOSE UKR T-SHIRTS WE MADE
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
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FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
(yay I've been waiting ages to be the first person to say that - I can die a happy man now thanks)
On a side note, has anyone else heard about the Sega Mega Drive compilation that's being released for the PSP? Is this site even about Sega anymore?
"Finally, The Sloppy Seconds of Third Party Video Game Controllers is in Your Hands."
or:
"Now, the Cosplay Bukkake of Sweatshop-Produced Gamepads is Upon You."
or even:
"Like Having Anal Sex with your Sister, the GPad Pro Delivers the Best of Both Worlds."
See? Advertising genius.
and would. but only if she kept her greasy clothes on.