There's no way Kotaku is going to link to this :(
Maybe if it was an official SEGA cardboard box we'd be a bit more enthusiastic.
SOME FAN FICTION ABOUT A CARDBOARD BOX
THE BOX OF JOY
By Michael Zorg
Who's this in this box? Why, it's Cream The Rabbit!
"Hello, big strong man. Do you want to get into the box with me?"
"Yes"
"I'm naked apart from my little orange shoes"
"Good"
We get in the box and a workman comes along, tapes up the box and puts it in a truck. The truck drives to Monaco and the journey goes really quickly because we're having sex all the time.
In Monaco there's a big house there which we're allowed to have for free and live in together forever with no one else ever talking to us. It's got satellite TV with all the sport and porn channels, and no internet or telephone.
The end.
Labels: GONZO
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. EMPLOYEE OF ONCE EVERY 3.175 WEEKS IGN UK ASSEMBLES WORLD'S GREATEST COLLECTION OF CL... THE 'WRIST JOKE' IS ALIVE AND WELL SOUTHAMPTON SEGA WORLD - CARPET EXCLUSIVE SEGA WORLD SYDNEY WASN'T WORTH GETTING EXCITED ABO... WE WERE IN SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA, AND SAW A SIGN SAYIN... CREAM THE RABBIT CAR CRASH PORN MOVIE (PART 2) PLAYSTATION SPOT LAUNCHES TODAY! LET'S SCROLL AWAY THE BADNESS, WITH A TRIP TO SEGA...
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
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FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
It says "Playsonic" which, if you pull it apart, can easily become "Play sonic"!
See? Play sonic! It's almost viral in its subtlety!!!!!!
Crikey, it's almost as if I was pretending or something!