UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
Certainly you all remember Nintendogs. Right? We went all crazy about it back when everyone else was going crazy about it, but in the end it was found to be not as compelling as we had hoped, and unable to tear us away from our routine of napping at inappropriate times and being much too greedy when it comes to torrenting files over the internet (example: the entire NTSC/U Sega Saturn library-- too bad our Saturn is lying in pieces on the floor from a failed modchipping attempt).

Sadly, we would not mind having this machine in the basement
But through good old fashioned "journalism" we have found that one of the key components of Nintendogs, the incredibly boring part where you have to walk your dog around the city lest it go CRAZY on you (or something like that, we really don't remember), appears to have been SHAMELESSLY RIPPED OFF from a Sega arcade machine from 2001.

Crap screenshot #1
Don't worry, you've never played it. If you have, please email us and tell us if it was fun or not and if you had to clean up virtual dog shit in a noisy arcade full of people playing REAL GAMES. And then be prepared for our offer to be a Yahoo Auctions Japan proxy for us, though we will require no charge for your services.

Crap screenshot #2
Go here for MORE damning screenshots. (We apologize for linking to IGN) Surely this will cause an immediate uproar and letter-writing campaign to Nintendo of Japan which will cause Shigeru Miyamoto's resignation, and development of the Mario franchise will be handed to Sonic Team.

Actually... never mind.

Labels: ,

Blogger Markusdragon said...
What pathetic swill. Boo, get off the blog.
Blogger MAK said...
If Zorg is too busy sucking at a Shiny corporate teat to write UK:R then we need still need someone to feed us pointless not-quite-relevant video game information.

Otherwise we'd be stuck reading triforce or some shit like that.

Give the boy a week to warm up at least ...?
Blogger PhotoBoy said...
Look at the arcade cabinet, it's got a treadmill! Miyamoto clearly nicked Wii Fit from this game too!

My white Saturn still works, but I wasn't able to mod mine either, because it's one of the obscure ones from when Sega were cobbling them together from whatever spare parts they had left in their inventory. It has a wider CD-ROM ribbon cable which doesn't fit into the mod-chip. Modding my launch Dreamcast was much easier.
Blogger Paul said...
Swill, please apologise for writing 'apologize'. It's a tough audience, get with it man.
"(example: the entire NTSC/U Sega Saturn library-- too bad our Saturn is lying in pieces on the floor from a failed modchipping attempt)."

Twat. I LIEK SEGA !!

Won't work. Fuck off.
Write funnier things.
The opportunity is there....
Blogger stuart said...
I haven't played this game myself but i did get my other half to have go.

The game (as i remember) consisted of taking your dog for a walk. There was three or maybe four dogs to choose from and the are rated from easy to rock hard.

Once the walking had commenced you kept at a steady walking pace (with the lead you hold in your hands) on the treadmill whilst steering the dog to avoid obstacles like cars and stuff.

The real hilarity started when you had to chase a cat.You literally have to run like buggery until you caught the bloody thing or collapsed in a gasping heap on the floor.
Blogger F said...
Blogger weatherbox said...
Why is everbody laying into this journalist? Give him a fucking break! It's about the same quality as Zorg's stuff. Do you fear change or something? What the fuck is wrong with people on the internet? Do you think acting like this by way of proxy makes your actions any less wretched and sociopathic? Go back to writing bitchy Youtube comments you fucking fruitcakes.
Blogger Scum fun said...
Weatherbox has his head screwed on tight.That up date is in the same vain as all uk:r articles,now if you'll excuse me i'm going to comment on You tube
Blogger Scribbl said...
My other half and I played this in 2002. Since I am legendarily bad at video games my go lasted less that 30 seconds as I cheerfuly walked the dog into a car or other obstacle.

It was almost exactly like walking a dog. Only I sucked at it.
Blogger phorenzik said...
I think The Swill Man has attracted some American commenters.

And NO! WE don't like fucking change.

We're British!

Post a Comment