Genius war propaganda. Mock the enemy. Ha ha, look how stupid he is! Next time we fight him we won't be so scared!
Tails, as ever, looks suitably retarded.
"Dear everyone at UK:R, I found these some weeks ago: Sonic pogz. God knows why I kept them all these years, but you seem to have quite a fondness for the blue hedgehog, so I thought, maybe you'd like to have a look at them. Four reasons why you could like these pogz: (1) They have Sonic characters from the 2D era all over them. (2) They're plastic pogz, not rubbish cardboard ones. (3) You can connect them to build stuff. (4) They also GLOW IN THE DARK (which, in my opinion, is the bestest thing about them).
"Best of all, if you want them, I'll post them to you. Free. Because you are the greatest SEGA worshipers of them all... if you are the kind of Anglais who have nothing against stuff coming from France, of course. Just give me your address. Yours sincerely, JF Capdevielle, biggest UK:R French fan ever ever."
In all their majesty. And thanks for the offer, JF, but we've reached that stage in life where it's becoming just a little bit embarrassing to sleep in a bedroom surrounded by plush toys and merchandise of cartoon characters.
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. THE ABSOLUTE SHAME OF SONY'S 40GB PS3 NiGHTS IN SICK BOTTOM-TOUCHING SHAME *UPDATE* BRAND NEW ADULT PROFESSIONAL HEDGEHOG MAS... BRAND NEW ADULT PROFESSIONAL HEDGEHOG MASCOT COSTU... IT'S TIME TO START GETTING EXCITED ABOUT SOUL CALI... RICHARD JACQUES AND HIS AMAZING HORN BBC USES KILLZONE 2 TO PROMOTE HALO 3 REASONS TO BE GRATEFUL SEGA EXISTED #1: ULALA COSP...
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
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FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
They're Tazos.
Would you look at that UK:R all growed up *sniff*. Soon they'll be leaving the basement and dealling with real world stuff like washing their own crispy socks.
if it were richard jacques offering you his pogz, it'd be a whole different story. you'd probably even send an SAE or paypal him the postage money :(
talk about one man's frenchman being another man's algerian woman, or however the saying goes
I bet if they were Killzone pogs you'd take them, Zorg, you Sony fanboy.
Poor Frenchman, not only having the burden of being shamed with his ownership of ancient and embarrassing Sonic pogs, but also trying to give them to the supposed biggest Sonic fans ever and being turned down.
If he commits suicide it's all because of you, etc.
guzvpvy - The new Russian stereotype character for the next Sonic game.
that way we'd get the pogs and any subsequent spam mails and you'd be safe in the knowledge that a) you held out your hand to a falling sega fan and b) said fan will never know where you live
tbwxrqxy: french for skanky fake sega fans