UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
This is an old story but we've just thought up that headline which we're proud of. It's to do with HMV thinking people might like to buy two shit Sony consoles at the same time, then, amazingly, deciding that perhaps they don't after all.

That's what's known as an embarrassing public climbdown in the face of massive disinterest, because you've overestimated how stupid the average UK consumer is.

Ken reveals PS3 price cut thinking

That's all. Today's proper update will be along in half an hour. It's to do with 'Sexy Sudoku' and is much better than this one which only took 10 minutes and is what we refer to internally as 'a gonzo filler'.

If you have any ideas for what we can do to disrupt HMV's midnight opening PS3 launch, please let us know. We're currently thinking of handing out leaflets to queueing customers letting them know how much they're being ripped off.


Blogger Hamstermemnon said...
you could hand out '1/2 price grope' tickets for the 'gentlemens club' around the corner
Blogger phorenzik said...
You can NEVER overestimate how stupid the average customer is. I know, I manage an indie games store and you wouldn't believe the amount of cunts we get in.
Blogger Rikki said...
Where can you pre-order the PS3 on the HMV site? I can't see it. I think they're lying to lessen everyone's hatred.
Blogger CakeOrDeath said...
Make sure those leaflets have some sob stories from American PS3 scalpers who lost 1000s when they couldn't offload their PS3s.

Haha Stupid Bastards.
Blogger Ravuya said...
I wanna hear some stories from phorenzik.

They're probably way better than Acts of Gord.
Blogger phorenzik said...
If I start moaning, I won't stop.....ever. You bend over backwards to help them, and they throw it back into your face. Arrgh....You've set me off....Lets just say that ALL customers are CUNTS. There, I've said it's in the open....let's all just deal with it.
Blogger jawa said...
You could piss on peoples feet. That would stop them from queueing.
Blogger Bas said...
Set up a boot with a sign that says "PS3 for half the price!"

Then refer them to online importing.
Blogger theafroguy said...
Phorenzik, you have a blogger account - who doesn't like to hear about the stupidity of the general public?
Blogger fujiwaratofuten said...
Just list the UK, US and Japanese prices with the tag "only mugs throw their money away!"
Blogger ScSiDaN said...
hand out leaflets showing the price of the wii and xbox360. but in all honesty, what cocksucker is going to que for a PS3?
Blogger bilal said...
why not hand out leaflets that just say


who gives a shit if they're buying ps3s, or whether they're getting ripped off, or if you can get them from Venezuela for 50 quid.

if someone's determined enough to queue up outside a shop for a console, they're hardly gonna have a change of heart and buy a wii or a 360 cos if a leaflet with the price are they? not to mention the fact that the wii/360 prices will probably be visible in the store window so the whole operation would've been in vain.

actually wait, the kinda people who'd queue up for a ps3 aren't the kind we'd want posting shit on here.

maybe a better leaflet would be the mobile number of that black guy with glasses (not harold from halifax) on telly who fixes people's debts by cutting up their credit cards and saying 'consolidate' alot
Blogger phorenzik said...
I may start using my blogger account to moan about customers. The problem is, I'm lazy. If I do it in work time though, i'll be getting paid for it. There is another problem though, someone might figure out where I work and read a comment I have written about them. I'm not very hard so they would easily win in a fight against me. Actually, that would never happen, most of the folk I will blog about will be too thick to even turn on a computer, let alone read. I fail to see anything bad about the situation. Watch my blog space, and maybe i'll overcome my laziness and actually do it.
Blogger primaleyes said...
Keep taking the piss out of him. I can't stop laughing!
Blogger Ruin3d said...
Ok best way i'd say is multi-tiered

1. During the day. Ring HMV repeatedly to complain about the queue and say you are calling the police as its causing an obstruction. With Wii launch HMV stopped the queue

2. Start BS online rumour that Virgin or Game is giving away a free game with each console at their launch. Also start the rumour that HMV will only have 200 consoles and theyre all going to pre-orders.

3. Get people to go to Game nab flyers off them then flyer the PS3 queue verbally telling people there is a further £50 off or free game. By midnight its too late for them to do anything and it destroys the PS3 queue

4. Tip off a London newspaper that there is a plot to rob everyone in the queue for the thousands in cash they will have

5. Contact Microsoft and get them to agree to give you 50/100 360s (they definately have the budget and might be up for the shafting) then at 11.50 go to the queue and say anyone who leaves now and comes to virgin gets a free xbox 360 even the most hardcore ps3 geek would wait til the next day for a free £200 console
Blogger Guru Larry said...
How about offering people in the queue a free go on a Dreamcast. and pointing out how Sony are responsible for Sega's Console Murder.

Post a Comment