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We've just been sent a copy of Sexy Sudoku which attempts to liven up the dull organising-numbers-for-businessmen-on-trains quiz by including photos of naked women.


About once every six months we ask someone to explain the rules of Sudoku. Then we forget again. It's something like "all the numbers have to add up to 12" or maybe "make all the boxes add up to the same number".


The rules of Sudoku are something we will never need to know so we don't bother remembering. Like maths or what girls like to talk about.


We'll have a novice puzzle, please, seeing as what we think the rules are aren't actually the rules, so we'll be here for a very long time otherwise.


You get to see more naked women for solving puzzles without clues. What the maker has done is taken an existing thing, then added a clever incentive system. Imagine if Xbox Live handed out naked photos of girls instead of stupid 'points'! It'd be huge.


The nudity is quite nude. They are naked, akimbo in some photos, but not holding themselves open or having a bit of someone else going in them. It is the sort of nudity that was considered RED HOT before the internet, but now is acceptable on children's TV.


It's taken 21 minutes to get this far on novice, thanks to it letting you just press numbers and telling you when you're wrong (RED NUMBER) and when you're right (GREEN NUMBER). God knows how people do this in their heads.


We solved it! She's impressed, although she probably thought this photo shoot was going to be used in Razzle.


Ten naked girls to unlock. Just like in our basement.


But all the images are stored in a folder as JPEGs, so you can just scroll through them. This ruins the fun and suspense. If only Carol Vorderman's Sudoku offered a similar amount of gratuitous nudity. 7/10.


SEXY MONKEY BALL: 100 bananas = banana goes in mouth

SEXY MONKEY BALL: 1000 bananas = banana goes in bottom

SEXY SONIC: 100 rings = item of Cream's clothing comes off

SEXY SONIC: 1000 rings = Cream loses all inhibitions after eating one of those mushrooms in the background and you have 15 minutes with her limp body before she realises what's happening.


Blogger phorenzik said...
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Blogger phorenzik said...
This should help gaming break into the mainstream and prove that it isn't a sad lonely hobby for fat men. If they'd only put the odd flash of a cock in there, then girls would also buy it, thus, doubling their sales.

I had to delete my previous comment because I made a spelling error......I wouldn't have been able to sleep if I didn't rectify it.
Blogger jawa said...
I wish they would do a noughts and crosses version for the working man. Or just a peanut version like those racks of peanuts you get in old pubs where the more peanuts you buy is equal to more 80's nudity. Infact that's better because you get peanuts with it. Instead of here where you get RSI.
Blogger lenny said...
do they hold their fanny lips open
Blogger Raton said...
Fuck, it's Kyla Cole. They're using pics picked up off the internet like they're not even trying.

How much do they hope to make people pay for this shit ?
Blogger primaleyes said...
Before the internet. Back in the dark ages of Public Domain Disks. You got stuff like this.

Are they selling it to people in the past? If so... how many disks does it come-on?

Will it work on the A500?

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