But Asteroid Crash is actually quite good!
Asteroid Crash proves Commandment One of the video game world - anything that involves the collecting/gathering/sorting of bananas will always be good.
The game reinforces the message that bananas are a force of good by telling you you're bad if you shoot a banana.
It also proves Commandment Two - You should always be able to explain how to play a game and what it's about in one sentence, else it's too contrived.
It's by Michael Dobbins again. When he puts his mind to it he can deliver. Well done, Mike. We're saddened that you haven't responded to our interview request yet :(
Nice, but not really anything to do with Monkey Ball. 7/10.
PLAY IT HERE:
Super Money Ball: Banana Blitz. ASTEROID CRASH MINIGAME (capital letters SEGA's own).
SOME OTHER VIDEO GAME COMMANDMENTS:All the buttons should just be 'jump' Music shouldn't have lyrics, but if it has to the lyrics should only be about how nice a place the game world is Girl characters should be rubbish and slow The plot should only be mentioned in the manual The sky should be blu... oh. Have we done this before?
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. THE GREATEST SONIC THE HEDGEHOG DESKTOP IMAGES IN ... TALL STORIES, WITH KEN KUTARAGI TODAY, WE ARE GOING TO UPDATE THE WEB SITE LIKE IT... TRIP HAWKINS HAS HAD ANOTHER AMAZING IDEA SONIC CHAOS CRUSH - EXCLUSIVE REVIEW PAUL MORLEY IS LOOKING OLD THESE DAYS :( SOME SPANIARDS ARE SENDING SHIT TO SONY EUROPE PS3 IS GREAT AT DISPLAYING PHOTOGRAPHS SOME OUT-OF-CONTEXT SCREENSHOTS OF SONIC THE HEDGE...
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
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FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.
# Music shouldn't have lyrics, but if it has to the lyrics should only be about how nice a place the game world is
# Girl characters should be rubbish and slow
# The plot should only be mentioned in the manual
Are these all bashes at Sonic Rush?